• This is a huge problem and it will only get worse. It also makes it so that our brightest and most talented men choose not to have children because all their hard work will simply be taken away from them.
  • Let's address the real problem behind this question. It isn't really about government hand-outs. It's more about dead-beat dads who do not own up to the responsibility of rearing and providing fianncial support their offspring. If more men took some responsibility in helping to raise their kids, WIC, Medicaid, and food stamps would fix themselves. So my own thoughts on the remedy for this national problem, is this: Men, if you can't support your child for the next 18, possibly 21 years, then keep your pecker in your pants. It ain't all the woman's fault, ya know!! She didn't get pregnant by herself.
  • I'm a single mum. I'm 21 years old and i have a 2 month old son. I split from the father in the middle of the pregnancy. I'm out of work atm and my pregnancy wasn't planned, but i don't believe in abortion and i wasn't gunna get rid of a baby just because i couldn't afford it. I think it's wrong of you to turn round and say "If they cannot afford to have kids then don't have sex" Your pregnant for nine months and things can change during that time. I'm on benefits and i'm getting no help from the father and i got everything that my son needs and i'm doing just fine!
  • Bless you for your innocence. Being left holding the baby is one of the hardest situations you could possibly find yourself in. Its emotionally and physically exhausting. It keeps you up all night, if not because the kid is awake, then just out of worry. It often means you can't work because childminders cost more than you would earn. Stuck indoors completely alone in the silence, night after night after night, from the moment of the baby's bedtime. It forces you, no matter what your personal principles are, to queue up and beg for aid like food stamps. Please - how humiliating is it to go to a shop and have only enough for the very basics, and on top of that, to have to pay with stamps? There will always be girls with sh*tty family lives who think that a baby would be the first person in their lives to love them unconditionally, and they might be right. There will always be silly girls who see the list of aid, as you did, and assume that means once you have a baby you are on easy street. That is such a naive idea. In both cases the 'hard lesson' that is the truth hits them in the teeth and stays with them for another 16 to 18 years. You could get out of prison on a murder charge in less time than that, for good behaviour.
  • Wow, insensitive much? Have you ever thought about the single mothers who started out married (my mom was one of these)? Or how about the ones who were raped and chose not to abort? It isn't all just the woman's fault either - whre are the fathers of the baby? What about their responsibiliteies? They are *single* mothers for a reason - and more often than not it's a simple matter of the man walking out on the mother and baby. And do you really think that it is comfortable to live on wellfare and foodstamps? It's usually not a matter of just being too lazy to get a better job, but juggling a household and an occupation (sometimes even school) all on your own. When I was little, this was what happened with my mom & me after my dad had taken all of his & my mom's paycheck to use on drugs and sex with other women for the last time. My mom went on welfare, we lived off of food-stamps, and the government helped her get through college.
  • Having safe sex is HAVING sex... why for god's sake blame the government, god and self for NOT taking CARE?
  • not all women have sex by choice and not all women become single by choice besides.....I don't think the children CHOSE any of this
  • I kind of understand what you are saying. My grandmother raised my father and his two siblings when her husband left her at just 20---- and she had almost no monetary help and she made on her own. While I can hugely simpathize with a woman who has been left to care for her children all on her own, I have no sympathy for a woman who puts herself in that situation through drug use or some other circumstance within her control. I do get angry when i see in very poor urban areas (USA) low-income families taking advantage of the system, driving cars and wearing clothes i couldnt afford, and yet being unwilling to get a job or realy help their children. But not everyone takes advantage of the system, and some people really do need it.
  • As someone who has worked with people who are in the "system", I cannot even begin to point out the numerous flaws in your logic. First of all, the ones who make welfare a career choice, and those are whom I am assuming you are referring to, are usually women and MEN with many children, who use deception and fraud to get benefits they do not deserve. Secondly, like many others have pointed out to you repeatedly, circumstances can and often do change between the point of conception and the point of delivery. Thirdly, many of those currently on welfare are hard working individuals and families whom have fallen on hard times, and are in need of some TEMPORARY assistance. Personally I think it is the right thing for our government to do for it's citizens. Lastly, it is often ironic that those that judge the harshest often find themselves in similar situations later down the road. Until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, it is usually not the wisest move to judge them.
  • They tried this in the southern states! They required all that applied for welfare to be sterilized but the Supreme court of the US said it was unconstitutional! I think the SCOTUS is unconstitutional!
  • Behind most single moms are dirtbag males who can't find it in themselves to be responsible and take care of the chilren they made.
  • There was some changes in our welfare system. Single moms get NO more money if they have more children on welfare. Young teenage moms cannot automatically gain some sort of adult status and live on their own with their new welfare check, they get to live at home with their parents. You can only collect welfare for 2 years out of every five. No mailing of checks to single people, you pick it up. Does that medicaid pay for birth control?
  • just to let u know i'm a single mother of 3 i did not choose to be single! i work my ass off every day up to 60 hours a week if not more to provide for my childern. Yes i get food stamps and yes i get medicaid. i work so there for i am paying for it just like people that dont have childen do. No i dont mind paying for people that need it. for the people that are using the gov. and lying to get it. they will get caught and they will be paying us.
  • When our government decided to crack down on any possible fraud in the welfare system, the first thing they did was have the recipients pick up their checks from their local office. You should have seen the news footage, line up around the corner. I know that when I collected a partial payment (I worked and had 3 kids) I would have waited till the day after. Anyways, I recall this single mom of one who was complaining that it wasn't fair that she had to stand in a line up with her child (in a stroller) to pick up a check. My thought was that I got myself and 3 kids off to daycare, school and work every f%cking day and she's complaining! Anyways, again, it all came out - prisoners were getting checks, dead people were getting checks, working people (at good pay) were getting checks AND the stats for all this included that SINGLE MEN are the largest group that collect a welfare check. I repeat, SINGLE MEN were the parasites, next largest group were single woman, then couples with children, then SINGLE MOMS, then couples no children, then single dads. So there!
  • What about the mother of five, who husband leaves her for a younger woman? You are very very insensative young woman.
  • Your insensitive statement really gets to me because I have been a working woman ALL of my life, had a GREAT job with benefits and good pay... After suffering 2 miscarriages and it taking me 8 years TRYING to get pregnant I finally did! The part that gets me with your statement is there are MANY MANY Reasons that a woman would need help! I suffered Peripartum Cardiomyopathy from my pregnancy which the pregnancy hormones weakened my heart which in turn caused me to have heart failure! Due to this condition I am not able to work. So yes I get food stamps, medicaid and WIC but I think before you start judging people on their standards of living you should look at the big picture! Yes I chose to have my son but I had NO choice in having the heart failure that came along with it... and to be honest with you, I would go through it all over again just for my son! Would you rather see my son doing without instead of receiving assistance that I paid into myself for so long??? By the way, my sons father was killed in a car accident when I was 3 months pregnant.
  • ** I meant to type he was killed in an accident when i was 6 months not 3...
  • Recently in Gloucester, Ma. there was a pact amoung teen high school girls to get pregnant, and 17 of them did just that, and they were all 16 or under. The school allows unwed mothers to bring their babies to school.. walk the halls with the babies in the strollers and mingle with the rest of the class. This is viewed by other students as being a good thing and they want the same as the 'lucky' mothers. This country needs to do a better job of educating these kids about the cost and sacrifice it requires to raise another little human being.,8599,1815845,00.html
  • I am a single mother, and the her dad swore up and down that he would help support me while I was pregnant. It was hard as hell for me to work when I was pregnant because I was very sick, and I myself had the choice to stay home with my child for the first year of her life without having to worry about anything. I got medical and food and cash support. After a year I had to start looking for a job and she is 5 know and I have been working since she was 14 months old and have had a good full time job for two years. I WORKED MY ASS off to get to where I am with no help from her dad. WOMEN are not the only ones that can get help, men can to. You dont need to be a single mother or father to get food stamps or medical support. I know plenty of people with no kids that get help. I know plenty of men that are two fing lazy to get work so they are on medical and food support. KNOW YOUR FACTS BEFORE YOU JUDGE SWEETHEART
  • 2/3 of divorces are filed for by women. So the general perception of single motherhood, that they were abandoned by their husbands, is absolutely false. It doesn't fit with the facts. Some women are abandoned by their husbands, but the majority of single mothers chose this lifestyle for themselves. The number of women who never got married, or threw a loving caring Dad right out of the house, so they could have full far number than the 1/3 that were actually left by their husband. But you say, yes I left my husband but he was cheating! Yes, there are complications like that, for example, even amonth the 1/3 of women who were left by their husbands....some of those women were cheating on their husbands...their husbands left for good reason. So, you find this hysterical need by some to defend single Moms, but the truth is, this situation is more often than not, a choice they made. Why do they make this choice? Precisely because its not nearly the hard choice you might think. They get full control of the kids. They get to harm their spouse. They often are throwing out of the home, a very dedicated Father, which they can turn around a replace with any man they hook up with...this new man becomes the primary man in the childs life, not their real father. All this is legal, and common. The reason so few men file for divorce is simple...they know the pain of divorce. The reason so many women file for divorce, is simple. They do not know the pain of the divorce. The theory behind child support is both parents contribute equally to the childs support. The reality is that, despite terms like Deadbeat Dad, pay the vast majority of child support. Women live off that child support, they do not contribute equally to finances. The theory that they contribute equally is simply false. The theory that child support is keeping families out of poverty...also completely false. The reality is, that as women go through a divorce, many adopt this victim mentality. Whereas once they were career women, you see many of them abandoning careers. Divorce and child support is keeping women in their traditional role as providers of child care, and destroying their advances in the career world. Welfare does that. The irony here, is these huge advocates for child support...these ppl tossing careless terms around like 'deadbeat' dad...probably believe in equality...they don't seem to understand how this whole system is impoverished and based on the belief that women are victims and not capable of equality. Anyone who truly believes in equality should be ashamed and disgusted by the current system, which does not treat male and female as being the same.
  • Well aren't you lovely. Do you seriously think every single mother thinks that they'll be on their own when they have their child? So no, I'm not. And you're just heartless.
  • Well, I'm a little tired of that too b/c some of my taxpayer dollars are going that direction. What we need is closer supervision of individual situations - it's a great employment market in the making!
  • Could not agree more

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