From my experience, kids who grew up in an over-protective environment seem to develop unusual anxieties and irrational fears; almost like a fear of living life to the fullest. I think it's because they infer that the world is an unsafe place that they need to be sheltered FROM. Kids (like adults) NEED mistakes as much as they need successes. That's how they grow.

Yeah, when they are sheltered too much by the parents, they don't learn to take responsibility for their own actions, and they don't know how to fend for themselves. These are the kids who will not do homework, and say its their parents fault for not forcing them to do it, or get in trouble and expect the parents to get them out of it. They never get the oportunity to learn to make good decisions on their own. Working in a jail, I see so many parents come in to visit their kids who are inmates. I get so sick of seeing these inmates blame their parents for what they did, or the ever popular, "If you loved me you would get me out of here." It is typically these inmates that you will see with your own eyes commiting rule violations, and when you write them up, they will sit at their hearing insisting that they didn't do it. Some parents need to realise that if they want their child to be a responsible, well rounded adult, they have to give the child oportunitoes. The need to have chores, they need to have a chance to make decisions, they need to have the chance to try stuff on their own. Though it is hard, they also need to have the chance to face and deal with their failures, they need to know there are consequences and they need to face those consequences when they mess up. Otherwise when they grow up, they will not know how to deal with failure, and they are going to expect someone else to step in and fix things every time they run into a problem. I have a friend who has two sons and she did everything for them, pretty much did most of their homework and school projects at 3am that were due the next day so that they would not get in trouble at school, kept them home instead of letting them do school activities and hanging out with friends so that they would not have a chance to make a bad decision. When they got old enough to move out, they had no idea how to take care of themselves, they wouldn't work, they failed out of college, the older one has a drug and alcohol problem,the younger one has two kids that she is now having to raise after his girlfriend died. Both constantly came to her for money because they couldn't keep a job. The younger one asked if he could stay with me for a while, and I sat down and had a long talk with him before I agreed.I explained that there were rules, and that he had to make decisions and stick with them, and that I would support his turn around, but that I would not step in and save him if he made mistakes. He got a job, and stuck with it even when he hated it, he started giving his mom money to take care of his kids and spending time with them, he took care of his own laundry and I taught him how to cook, he studied hard and got back into college, and graduated in May this year. Now he has a better job, and just got a nice little 3 bedroom house and is putting together a home for his two kids. They move in next week. (His older brother is still sleeping on any floor where someone will let him crash, had been stealing from his mother and in and out of jail, but after seeing how his brother has changed, he has agreed to enter rehab and try to change his life.) It is never too late to try to turn things around, but both of these guys agree that it would have been better if they had learned it growing up.

Heck yea! I know from experience. Strict and sheltered. It caused me insecurity and low self esteem. I rebelled to a degree - nothing major. And then I raised two kids totally differently - they have become "individuals" - but they lack responsibility.

People say I've had a sheltered life. But it wasn't my mother's intention to shelter me, I just ended up being that way b/c I was too shy to make close friends in highschool.she signed me up for afterschool things when i was a kid, but just b/c i didn't drink and get loaded as a teenager I don't think that makes me sheltered. Just lucky.

Yes. There is a fine line between sheltered and protected. A parent's main goal besides keeping a child alive is to teach the child skills and experiences to help them cope with the world outside their homes and families. Failure to do this in a balance actually hurts the child.