Have you ever blamed yourself for the death of a loved one?
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ANSWERS: 6
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Grieving goes through several stages. One of them is Guilt. (what if I had....? It's my fault....I should have....) but this is just a natural stage. Look up the stages of grief on the net, and track how you are going. They can come in any order and recur several times before acceptance is reached. If, however, you get stuck in one stage, especially this guilt, then seek counselling to get you through it. That is normal to do. We are not on this earth alone.
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No, but I had a roommate die in the next bed while I was hospitalized back in the 70s. He was old and talking all night and the nurses came in and out. At about 4 AM I had drifted off to sleep - probably because it got quiet and I was exhausted. The nurses came in all excited and soon the Code Blue team was in there trying to revive him. Someone then remembered that I was behind the curtain and escorted me out. I heard the doctor pronounce him dead and thank the team. I sort of harbored guilt that I should have been listening out for him. Later I just realized that my guilt was irrational and I let it go.
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Yes, it took a long time to accept that their deaths were simply tragedies, and not my fault. Feeling like "I should have asked him not to go" or "why didn't I...." is natural, especially if you were the last person to see someone before a car accident or other such thing.
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Yes and it's an absolute bitch of a feeling that never goes away. Although the death was not directly caused by myself .. i see it as coming about as result of my not helping that person who needed my help.
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Yes, I blame myself for my husbands death.
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In a sense yes, my father committed suicide in Jan of this yr, we were there the evening before it happened and had been going to his home almost ever few days for about a month. He had been doing alot of things in the 3-4 months prior to his death that now when I look back they all add up. I use to call him ever day at 6:00pm no matter where I was, didn't matter, but being a Daddy's girl even at my age of 50 still makes it hard when you lose him. I know in now that I couldn't have stopped him, but it still hurts and at times I still get angry but most of all I just miss him so much.
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