ANSWERS: 8
  • My wife and I had a fight like that while we were engaged (it's a long story, but essentially I got her pregnant). We eventually got over the fight and stayed together and got married; but we never talked about that again. She actually forgot she had said it, but I just couldn't get over it. One or two years later I talked to her about it because I was very hurt by it, and since we still had our ups and downs, I was worried it could go that way again. When I actually talked to her about it, we addressed it and she apologized and I was able to move on. This was a few years ago, and we were able to work through the issues so that we have a great relationship now, but any relationship is always hard, and requires trust. I guess what I'm trying to say is that is something that is very hard to get over, especially if he never is willing to apologize for it. He may not remember he said it, b/c he said while he was angry and likely didn't mean it, but it still hurt you so I believe it needs to be dealt with for you to move on. If you don't trust him and how he feels for you, it will make the relationship much much harder.
  • Hubby and I don't fight/argue very often, maybe a couple good ones a year, but early in our marriage we had some doosies! They would start out like any normal argument, but then we would just start saying hurtful things to each other. Things that had NOTHING to do with the initial disagreement. It would get way out of hand and we would go days without speaking... Eventually we both realized that we did not want to live like this, so we went to our first marriage therapist. The funny thing was that we went to learn how NOT to argue and the first thing he said was that we needed to learn how to have a healthy argument, so we went for about 6 months and learned how to have a fight. Now all these years later, we still try to use what we learned there when we argue. I can't fit 6 months of therapy into this forum, plus everyone has different issues and triggers, so what I learned may not help you, but I suggest getting some relationship counseling (and if your boyfriend won't go, then you might consider that a big red flag about continuing the relationship mainly because if he doesn't learn how to deal with anger appropriately, then this could happen all over again).
  • People who are friends or lovers or both, often say things in anger or frustration (or even great excitment or pain) that they do not really mean, or that are more dramatic than is truly the case. I remember telling my parents "I hate you" many times as a child when I was very angry. It's not that different as an adult, although unless the person is drunk, on drugs or having a rage (like good old Mel Gibson and good old Michael Richards ha!) they hopefully are more mature and have a better grip on what they say even when they are angry or otherwise upset. Unless it is a recurring thing, and especially if your boyfriend says things like that (or does other things that make you wonder what his feelings are) when he is NOT angry, I wouldn't worry about it. If he does say these things often, or he does other things to make you doubt his true feelings, share with him your concerns and have a good sincere talk. If your talk leads to anything other than a good feeling and clear understanding on both your parts, you might want to go talk to a counselor in person (depending on your ages) or maybe give the relationship a break for a short time, so you can both think about how you feel and have abit more "space" in which to do that.
  • I would be worried because you never know what could happen next with a guy like that. I have had a lot of boyfriends that didnt treat me very well and they all acted like that from time to time and the pain never did go compeletly away because each time they did it just ripped that sore open more and more. so just be careful and keep your eyes open. I wish you go luck and hope things do work out for you and your boyfriend.
  • Alot of people say things they don't mean in when they are angery, I think as long as thier was no hiting or abusive language he deserves a second chnace, if it starts to be a pattern then leave, but I wouldn't loose sleep over it/wa
  • I'd be worried about why I'd date a childish boy.
  • Sometimes people say things that they don't mean when they're angry or upset. But you should watch how he treats you, and if it's bad, you should dump his ass.
  • Well I would not want to be with someone who hated me, didn't love me, and didn't want to see me again. Unless there was some good reason for him to say that stuff then I would question his feelings for you. May be just anger but when fights like that start happening regularly then it is time to check out.

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