ANSWERS: 17
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  • I wouldn't know becuase if she dependend entirely on him then she'd be screwed if they got divorced.
  • Talk to your spiritual advisor (pastor, rabbi, etc) about this question. This is a serious matter and may cause harm to various innocent people.
  • I would, but then again I was married and kept in the dark about my husbands affair. I found out when I was pregnant with our child. It was terrifying having to go get tested for STD's while carrying a baby. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through that if I could help it. I think it's the person's duty to help out someone in that situation. What the person does after that is their own affair.
  • I think I'd leave the situation be, and hope that the man and his wife stay happily married from that point forward. That would be a fine how-do-you-do.... "Hi, you don't know me. But I've been diddling your husband for X (months/years). Just thought you should know.Good luck"...:-P...
  • No, You have nothing to gain by telling her. I know it would be hard not to say anything, but you have to think of his kids. Just make a clean break forget about him and move on with your life. Someone better than him will see how sweet you are, and not use you for sexual favors. Your life will be better just to let it go, and you will not have anything to regret. I know you would not want to hurt his children, they depend on him to provide the basic needs that he can provide. I wish you the best :) Good Luck.
  • Hmm no. What a creep though! I would feel lucky that I wasn't his poor wife.
  • Nobody has anything to gain in this situation. What would be your motive? Revenge? Certainly not justice. Just back away with dignity intact. You did the right thing.
  • There is a good chance she already knows or at least suspects. She may not know who, but a great many women sense that something is up when their spouse is cheating. You did the right thing by breaking it off, but telling his wife will accomplish nothing positive. Let it go and get on with your life.
  • That is a tough call. It would depend on the wife’s constitution, their relationship, how long they had been married, how old the kids are, and where they live. Virginia is a no alimony state. A divorce would leave her on her own with only the settlement from their joint holdings. If she is unskilled with small children in this case it might be a mistake to put her in the position to make that decision. On the other hand, if she is a capable woman with fortitude, the children are old enough to not need constant attention, and she has a likely hood at self-preservation then I’d drop her a note with your regrets and condolences. She has a right to know. Be prepared for a non-response. She might already be aware...of many. Chances are he was no more loyal to you. Ultimately, you don’t want to destroy her. You are out of the relationship. It is not really any further concern to you. Better luck next time.
  • That is an unequivoal yes.
  • She probably knows as this is not the first time he's done it and I'm sure it won't be the last. The wife doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore than she is. Not only that, the husband will hate you a lot!
  • Yes I would. She needs to know what kind of slimeball she's stuck with.
  • Absolutely! The whole mess is his problem and his alone & he should have considered the consequences of his actions before he set out to play hide the salami
  • I would let it go. After all, it was just dating... maybe he needed a diversion from the wife and kids.
  • I would stay out of it. His marriage obviously has problems or he would not have strayed. I think eventually the truth will come out without your help. Salaam
  • I wouldnt tell her directly, I would however send her a letter anonymously that he is cheating on her, what she chooses to do with the information is her business. If I were in her shoes, I would want to know.
  • First and foremost, consider your own motives. If this situation describes your own, then it sounds like you have done the honorable thing...you have ended the relationship between yourself and him. This is good. Certainly the man is a cad and has done both you and his wife harm. However, the troubles he brings upon himself and his marriage are his own and NOT yours. If you become the person to bring about discord within his marriage by such means, then YOU end up sharing a large part of the blame and thereby dishonor. Most ESPECIALLY if you do so out of anger, spite, revenge, or some other form of malice. You do NOT need this weighing you down. Yes, I know there may be some part of you that says: "But she deserves/needs to know. SHE is being done an injustice!" And you are right. But she does NOT need to find out from YOU. When she finds out she will be in a world of hurt. If she should find out from "the other woman", her pain will be many times greater. Again, you have already done the honorable thing. You have dumped him. His marriage problems are now his own. Let it be.

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