ANSWERS: 10
  • Never, ever forget about them, what kind of person they were, and what they meant to you.
  • You can still tell them - you can still talk to people who have passed over; either quietly in your head or out loud. They will hear you and if you are open minded enough to ask for a sign you will know that they have heard you - for me it is an overwhelming feeling of warmth. The other thing that you can do is to write down what you wanted to say and either keep it or do a little ceremony that was recommended to me. Write your note and then roll up/fold up the paper, place it in a bowl and set light to it. Place the bowl in a triangle of tea light candles, and sit thinking of your loved one until the last candle burns itself out. Take the ashes outside and let them fly off in the wind - for me I felt complete peace when I did this.
  • Their right there by your side, tell them, and I promise they'll listen.
  • If you loved them that much, they KNEW. Believe me. Just whisper "goodbye, I love you to them" and be assured that they KNEW.
  • I've had plenty of conversations with my dad after he passed, and in my heart, I knew he heard them and had a deep understanding of why I was saying what I was. On the upside, he couldn't interrupt me. =]
  • First of all, this is a great question. Next, I love the answers I see have come in thus far. -- I think the key words in this particular question are "one last time" which implies that "I Love You" had indeed been said/shared in the past. In that case, one thing can be eased from your mind. You had told them already - directly. ------ Tougher for those who had never actually spoken the words. However, even then, you know that saying "actions speak louder than words"? Well, we all "know" .. deep down .. who cares for us ... who is "there" for us .. no matter if they've spoken those 3 special words aloud or not. (In fact, I know some folks who HAVE said the words, but their lives, choices, actions showed otherwise!). So the big thing here is "they knew how you felt based on how you treated them while they were here". -- Dealing with the passing of someone is really about ourselves .. coming to terms .. acceptance .. peace. Loss and sadness will remain and take time. But on the immediate, know that in many ways you already know what to do and how to deal with the passing of someone you loved. Whenever you have a loss - or a change - or any kind of "life upset" - you have in your core, immense strength that sometimes you don't even know you have. It pops up for us "just when we need it". Call it our resilence. Our internal anchor amidst any storm that hits us during our life journey. We don't think we can ever do it or stand it. But we can. And we do. In the next dark time, we may still feel lost and sad but at least "somewhere" in the back of our minds and hearts, we have that knowledge that "we've come this way before - and survived". -- So sure. Use any of the RITUALS I saw written about here. They were heartfelt and wonderful. They also force us and help us to "go through the motions". They move us along. As simple as a short whisper or as complex as a 300 mile trip with a little personal ceremony to perform. Whatever we want - we can do. -- But know this: no matter what FORM you use or what SUPPORT you find within yourself or from others .. you WILL deal with the loss of someone you love. And as you do? THEY will be smiling .. for you.
  • My grandmother died in 1989. I visited her in the hospital the night before she died. The death was an accident and not expected. I think I told her that I loved her before I left but I'm not sure. She helped raise me at one point in my life and her death was traumatic for me. I guess you could say that I dealt with it by letting myself grieve for a long time. That sounds simplistic but I don't know any other way to put it. Thanks for the question.
  • I just try to think about all the good qualities that that person was endowed with and I think about the happy times that we shared together. .............. On a brighter note, this is off topic: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1034668
  • I don't know. I went through that this past summer when my ex died. I suppose you can try to take some comfort knowing that they knew you loved them. But, it is not easy. I am filled with regret for missed spent time and an overwhelming feeling of loss that can never be resolved. Grieving is a challenge, when you think you are feeling better, suddenly you are struck with sadness. I suppose a good way to deal is to connect with the deceased's other loved ones. You can also do something special for the person who died, maybe donate to a charity that they would agree with. Always keep them in your heart and do what they would want you to do. I know our lost loved ones would not want to see us unravel. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
  • The truth is that I have no idea how to deal with it. Time is healing things but it never goes away. Mum died 5 years ago and it is really hard. I did say I love you, but she was in ICU on a ventilator, the lovely nurse said she heard me just before she died. but I think she was just doing the "right" thing by comforting me. I really wish I could convince myself that the nurse was right.

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