theadoptionguide.com was help to my aunt when she was considering adoption.

no websites but my sis is adopted maybe I can help, give specific fears and I'll help as much as I can

I am new here so I am not sure if you are pregnant or wanting to adopt. I am the adoptive mother of a wonderful little girl who was placed in my arms in April of 2003. We have a very Open Adoption and we have a great relationship with our daughters birth family. Our relationship is so awesome they have even thrown our daughter a birthday party we exchange birthday and Christmas gifts and stay over at each others homes. For us they are an extension of our family. We are two families who love our daughter (we are not co-parenting), at the end of the day it is all about our daughter knowing who her birth family is, knowing that she is loved and feeling secure enough to ask adoption questions to either side of her family. Granted not all families want to nurture an open adoption to our extent. Because of adoption we are able to experience the joy of parenting, due to a series of events that happened in my life I am unable to get pregnant. Having our daughter placed in my arms has filled a void that I have carried in my heart for a very long time. Although we have a great relationship our daughters birth mom there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. For me, every time I kiss our daughter I am thanking this wonderful young woman who trusted us to raise her precious baby girl. Our daughter’s birth mom has never regretted her choice, she has missed her daughter and she would have loved to have been able to parent but her life circumstances during that time in her life did not allow it. Our birth mother wrote a letter to a young woman who was considering abortion she wrote these words and sent me a copy of the letter. This is an actual quote from Heather “I have the best of both worlds I am living my dream, getting the education I have always wanted and I have an awesome relationship with my daughter and her family. I am as involved as I want to be and can step away without ever feeling guilty. If I had chosen abortion the guilt of killing my baby would have eaten me alive, with adoption I know that my daughter is alive, I can play with her, I can call her and I can still follow my dreams. Truly... the best of both worlds.” Adoption can be positive and both parties can find peace in their decision of placing or adopting. As in all relationships it all boils down to honesty and trust. I can’t speak about anyone else’s adoption experience I can say that everyone I know that has been part of an adoption triad is happy, healthy and enjoying their relationships with their children and their children’s families. I am a stay at home mom, we take our daughter to New York every 3 or 4 months to see Broadway shows, she has a great relationship with her birth family including grandparents and cousins, we take her to Disney 3 or 4 times a year, she travels everywhere we go, she is in dance, gymnastics and soccer she has a horse, a huge family to love her unconditionally, she has been reading since age 4 and at age 5 began doing math problems, she eats home cooked meals almost everyday and she gets to enjoy being a kid, she is kissed and told that she is loved hundreds of times a day and… she is adopted and loved by everyone who meets her… We believe in Open Adoption so much that we are now looking for baby number two. If you have questions feel free to contact me. Hugs, Maria

Miteb, It is so refreshing to find others as passionate about Adoption as I am. Congratulations on your retirement. There are many reasons why we chose Open Adoption one of them is that my darling sister- n-law whom I lovingly call sis (Carla) placed a baby for adoption when she was 15 (over 40 years ago) it was also closed. When I was in my teens Carla told me about her daughter. I remember my heart ached as she told me how she wondered her whole life what her daughter looked like, she wondered how she was and she wondered if she would ever see her again. We cried as she shared her story, from that day on every time I saw a woman close to Diana’s age I would look in her eyes hoping to see Carla’s beautiful eyes looking back at me. After many years my brother and Carla found Diana, she and Carla were reunited in the delivery room at the girls home where Carla had to love and let go of her. Pink ribbons were tied on the trees leading to the home and It’s A Girl balloons and ribbons were put in the delivery room for the reunion. Carla and Diana see each other often and Carla is able to spend time with her grandsons, a win win for everyone. And...Carla is my daughters God Mother… Thank you sooo much for your kind words I honestly believe that Open Adoption is the best option. As a parent and as a woman I want to help people understand that Open Adoption is a loving and healthy choice. Our Birthmom did consider abortion but when she sat down and looked at the Pros and Cons, Adoption won hands down. During our first conversation she said that she had never realized that so many people wanted a baby until she sat down and did her Pros and Cons list, for someone who dropped out of high school she was very mature. When she contacted us she was 3 weeks pregnant and encouraged us to be a part of her pregnancy ohhhh what a dream come true! I would drive 6 hours each way for a doctors appointment and it was worth every moment on the road. I have so much to share, if there is any way that I can help someone understand that adoption is a loving choice than I will spend as much time as it takes sharing my story. My life is an open book…. Everyone deserves to have their dreams come true, every one deserves a chance to follow their dreams I believe that Open Adoption is the perfect way for all our dreams to come true. Feel free to share my story, feel free to contact me. Thanks again, Maria ShareRdream2@yahoo.com