Maybe she is being lied to as well?

I dont think you need to be mad at the other woman i think you need to be mad at the man and your stupid if you know all this and still stick around!!!!

A person can certainly fall in love with someone that is married. Its a painful situation to be in for the other person. I know of 2 women who are the other women and they live lives of pure hell. But they are making their own hell - they know they cant have the guys - yet they accept crappy little meetings. I wouldnt do that. Too painful. If you are married and your partner is chosing to go with someone else, how can they be trusted ever again with your feelings? They dont care enough about you to want to be with you and you alone. They are making a conscience choice to be with someone else. If they lie to you, they are being a coward and not being a man about the entire thing. To be a man would be to admit to themselves they dont want you as much as they once did, they find themselves attracted by an outsider, and they should divorce you and let you heal and move on.

You can't justify or explain this behavior. It is the most selfish choice imaginable. There is no justification for it.

Having trouble posting comment so to Lauren Fortworth: my friend has her spies now...she so far has received feedback that he has been exactly where he claimed he'd be when he claimed he'd be there. But she is still keeping track in case he has cooled his jets for a bit since she believes he is nervous that she suspects something. So she is maintaining good things at home as usual and if soemthing returns as in whereabouts unverified or this woman in question is seen with him she will call him on it she's not stupid by any means She is patient and knows he WILL slip up if there is something not true blue about him I personally have to give her credit most would fly of the handle in a rage...she is calculating and knows it will only serve her purpose better to outright bag his sorry ass

Some women like being with a married man because there won't be a commitment on the man's part. But for any woman that is dating a married man - He is cheating on his wife with YOU, what makes you think that he won't cheat on you with someone else? There stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

I've been the "other woman" before. How do you know the married man wasn't lying to be with the other woman? How do I know that he's not happy at home? Usually the married man makes a move and flirts with me. At the end of the day, he's not always at home. So you can't always place the blame on the OTHER WOMAN. You can place the blame on the married man. There has to be something wrong with the relationship according to him, or else he wouldn't cheat.

Having trouble with posting comments no clue why so to Anon in answer # 7 how do I know she wasn;t lied to by this MM? I know bcuz I worked with the MM and this woman for many yrs. She has known him, his wife, his kids for a long time and yet she started up with him anyway. She is every bit as guilty in this case as he is. He took vows but she is accepting a relatioship with him and therefore she is trespassing on the marriage. She is betraying another human being. I know every day women out there find they are dating some MM and didn;t know when they first met him. They were played. If you have a shred of decency you do NOT stay with a man once u know he is in fact married and you certanly don't take up with a man you KNOW already is married. U can love him all you like BUT you don;t act on those feelings as long as he remains married. Perios. It is never right, never ok. Would you feel good about yourself in the end when all hell breaks loose and you have played a role in the total devastation of another woman and hurt innocent kids in the process?

believe it or not, there are some women just as afraid of commitment as men are. there are some women who just choose not to "settle down." not every "other woman" goes into the relationship wanting him to leave home. in fact, it benefits her more if he stays with his wife because it may benefit her financially or materialistically. also, she gets the benefit of having a husband without the responsibility of being a wife. u can call her cold, a bitch, homewrecker, whatever... but she's doing the same thing men have been doing for years... besides, why doesnt the man who took the vows to "love, honor & obey" get punished for the affair? he makes a couple of half assed apologies, vows to never do it again, maybe gives the wife the attention she was craving and there's no reprecussions for his behavior. the other woman wouldnt have the opportunity to cheat if he were not a WILLING participant. i say if you going to hate her, then you should hate him more because HE is actually the one who broke his commitment to you

i think if a woman is about to become the other woman than she should already expect that it won't be easy. he'll be with his wife/gf on the holidays and not with you. if you start to feel attached he won't always be there you for, or when you want to talk he might not be able to. he'll only be there for the sex and how is that respectful? personally i would never ever put myself in that situation for those very reasons. plus i want my own man, not someone else's man. i think women that allow themselves to become the other woman have little or no self respect for themselves.

once a cheater always a cheater...he lied and cheated to be with one...if he leaves the other whos says he is not gonna do the same to her come on

I have no idea how they justify it. Theyy pretend to believe his lies about his wife to make themselves look ok to their friends. But thats not really justification. I think these girls just have extreemly low self esteem, are desperate for some form of male attention (even if its false attention)At the end of the day, her wrong is different than his, but just as wrong.

IF the other woman knows the man is married she is just as guilty. My husbands OW actally taunted me. She'd call and say all of these crazy things. She got our daughters number out of husbands phone and sent threatening text messages. We put a restraining order on her. My husband came home, sobered up finally and we are working on it. Only because he got very ill and almost died. But she knew she didn't have him for good. She left aot of messages for him on his phone, the first one crying and sobbing, saying, I knew once you went back there you'd stay. Then the angry ones started. She is a whack job. Ask my husband why he chose her? He has no idea. He ended a 10 yr sobriety and she was a good boozin buddy.

Being the other woman has it's advantages. You don't have to put up with his shit. He usually only has a limited amount of time to spend with you so it's usually fun time enjoying a meal, talking or in bed. The wife has to put up with him. You don't have to clean up after him. He isn't going to drop his socks and leave them beside your bed. He has to be dressed to go home to the wife. Sure you might have to wash extra sheets and towels but that's not too bad. If it's a hotel room you don't even have that. He is likely to be generous with you because he feels bad about the limited time he can spend with you. You get the fun pretty presents while the wife a vacuum cleaner. You can maintain your privacy and alone time because he isn't constantly under foot. You don't have to worry about complicated relationship stuff...he is married. You don't have to worry about him moving in or taking over your life. He has other things to worry about. An affair with a married man might be just what some women need. In the end yes, he may be using the mistress for sex but he is using the wife too. The mistress is using him for sex as well as for companionship, company and maybe for financial support too. She can enjoy her own life without worrying he will want more while enjoying the positives a relationship can give. For her it might be the best of both worlds sex, companionship, friendship without obligations, dirty socks or the realities of marriage, bills, kids, in-laws and the related drama.

I think too much gult is laid on the "Other women". After all she didnt betray your trust, he did. She has no comitment to you and probably doesnt care if your marriage works out. I agree with earlier answers about comitment. But I also think that women do that to have the power. A man once put in that situation of having a wife and a lover, will do just about anything to keep their secret. From paying them off, to being extra nice to them, who knows? I do know that the empowered women of the 21st century love the control.

who cares? at the end of the day the skank cheating with a guy is just as bad as the guy cheating with the skank.

the other person owes the spouse no loyalty.... they are not a good person but they have no betrayed any commitments either. if my wife's BF was not such a disrespectful punk I would feel sorry for the burden he has picked up.