ANSWERS: 29
  • That's very abusive. It sounds like your boyfriend is suffering from a mental illness. He is also very stupid: you're not hurting your own feelings, that's physically impossible to the best of my knowledge. My advice is to just try and get away from him. He may love you, but you don't want to have to deal with something like this. It's better if he sees a psychologist.
  • Yes, its abusive. He is not a healthy person for you to be with. If you were stronger emotionally, you would have left him a long time ago and not tolerated that. This is a guy who has a lot of internal issues. Get out if you have any interest in your own emotional health. You don't have the resources to "fix" him.
  • Yes, this abusive. There are many different types of abuse: physical, verbal, mental, and emotional are a few. This is not a healthy relationship for you. When I combine this with your other question, I actually am afraid for you. Please get out of this relationship and do what it takes to protect you. You deserve better, and you aren't going to get it from this guy. Abuse stems from a desire to control you and an inability to control himself. To quote Dr. Stephen Stosney, "Abuse isn't a relationship problem, it is a SELF-REGULATION PROBLEM." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_abuse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence http://www.compassionpower.com/
  • Please listen to everyone: You need to END IT NOW. Then seek help to recover from the emotional damage he has caused. You don't want to end up in another relationship like this in the future.
  • Woah! Are we dating the same guy? I'm in the exact same situation. I have been for a year and 4 months. And now I'm finally on my way to getting out of it. We're on a 'break', we have been for about a week now, and each day we're apart I realize how much more stable my life is without him. And I realize how bad it really was and how much of an ass he really is. And I'm realizing more that while it isn't fun to be alone it's not as bad as I thought.
  • yes i think he is abusive. It all starts off like this then he will start getting worse if i were you girl i would get out of this relationship and find a nice man with a great personality xx trust me xx
  • Everyone else has answered the first half of your question quite adequately, so I will answer the second part. No, love is not always like that, and should not be like it. Seek help, recover, and one day you will find something much better.
  • I really think you already know the answers to all your questions. If you are even questioning his behavior, you know that it is abusive. I grew up in an abusive environment and dated a guy for 5 years that was abusive. I stayed with him because, I thought all relationships were like this. It's all I'd ever known. I cried over your question because you deserve to be loved and cherished for who you are and there is a very simple answer to these questions. If someone hits you, makes you cry or destroyes your self esteem, they don't like you. Period. It's as simple as that. Please leave now
  • I do not see the 2nd half I only see that is love always... and it ends ... so I do not think people know there is a 2nd question..
  • I just have one thing to say about that.Love don't hurt.He doesn't love you.He is abusing you.HE is the worthless one,not you,my dear.Find somebody better.*
  • This guy is a jackass, what keeps you going back for this kind of treatment? How could you begin to justify loving him? He loves you, your his whipping girl. Time to take a hike.
  • The question that you should be asking yourself is, "Am I happy?"
  • He is mainpulative and trying to control you be invalidating your feelings. Making you think your feelings are not acceptable. Get rid of him - you can do better and there are really nice people out there that care about yoand your feelings.
  • I'm on the same boat. It's all the same thing with him only he calls me mean names occasionally but yes he is the same. He also tells me he "loves" me even bought me a promise ring which is just a pice of gold with a diamond which has no meaning if you ask me until he starts treating me better. He has the problem i promise you. We females are sensitive that's just the way we are. It also takes males longet to mature than females. Think of how lost he would be without you? I know it's easier said than done because i'm on the same boat.
  • I would'nt say he was abusing you, just being a complete jerk! Take my advice, find someone else!
  • Yes your relationship is abusive.Your b/f is a weak person who likes to control people.Do you want a answer.Stand up for yourself and don't let him control or treat you like this.Ask yourself this-if you had a child you loved with all your heart,would you want someone treating her this way?
  • IF your so called BoyFriend "LOVED" you ; he would NOT put you thru the emotional / mental abuse that he apparently does ... I'd suggest that you highly consider LEAVING and making a fresh start ... +5
  • He's an asshole, sweetie. Lose him. This is so abusive it makes me so pissed. You deserve a man who will cherish every second with you. Fuck him.
  • Please get out of that relationship. For your own good.
  • Ok this might hurt... You allready know the answer to this question. You feel the need to tell somebody about it so they can agree with you. Your afraid to break up with him, then you will be alone. Find something that takes up your time. sports, reading, movies.
  • I had to check to make sure this wasn't my question. Sounds like a similar sit. Well, the fact that you asked whether its abusive or not says right there you know its abusive but hes made you loose so much self esteem you can't even trust your own thoughts because he's probably made you feel like they are worthless. Since it's unlikely you feel strong enough to leave him, you can just rest assured that yeah it sounds kind of abusive. But one thing...men hate listening to women cry. It doesn't mean they have to be so nasty about it but they really do hate it. But I can't stand when someone hangs up like that. It's so obnoxious. I'm glad every day I don't have to deal with being hung up on ALL the time.
  • he sounds like a jerk.
  • The question is why are you still with this jackass? Take a hike this guy is toxic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbQzw7JkG48
  • Abusive or not, why do you STILL call this jerk your boyfriend. Because he "says he 'loves' you"? That ain't love, girl. That's trying to control you, tear you down, and make you HIS (and his only) beatch. Dump the punk. (And NO... Love ISN'T like that at all.) Here are some questions about abuse saved in my profile. Read through them and the answers. If you recognize ANY of the situations described, get out now. Are women who continually date men who are abusive, or put up with abuse, or make excuses for the guy, naive? Can they really not see the signs or just don't know what to do? Or do they think it's "love"? - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3047295 Signs of abuse, even early on - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2872392 and http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3766947 (controllers) Signs of abuse, and what to do - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3384385 Would you stay with a guy that dont treat you right just becouse you love him? - (Mostly assuming abuse:) http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/5438372 Abusive Relationships - Recognizing you're in one and what to do - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2748410 Just to make you think about abuse: A poem © 1992 by Paulette Kelly I Got Flowers Today I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any special day. We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.
  • Yes that's abusive.
  • You might as well "get out of his place" like he suggested. It doesn't sound like he's the most pleasant person to be around at all.
  • You are only saying what he has done from your perspective. What have you done? . I gurantee you weren't innocently showing him positive affection. . There are 3 sides to every story. In this case we have his side, your side, and the truth. We have only heard your side. Of course everyone will say he is a jerk. You have nothing but negative things to say about him. . Maybe you are being negative and abusive towards him and you are suffering the consequences of your actions. . The truth is sometimes the last thing a person wants to hear.
  • this guy doesnt love you. he think he does but he doesnt. he loves the idea of you. dont be an idea, be a person that your man would be proud to look at, have a guy that never wants to make you unhappy and that appologizes even if its not his fault. your boyfriend may not know that he is abusing you or maybe he is but whats important is that you straight up tell him that he's making you feel horrible and that you want a break. a "break" is not breaking up with him because i know it can be hard to do that, but a break is just having space for you to think and have time for yourself. maybe you will realize what you really want to do with him.
  • I base my life around respect and dedication. to put it simple, if you put in enough respect and show you are worthy of obtaining something, it will be granted to you. Your boyfriend is not only unworthy of you, he is unworthy of any kind of companion. He has a mental problem where he needs to be in control of something no matter how small all the time. like some school teachers, they become teachers not out of love of teaching, but of the love of power and control. He uses the words i love you to keep you there, but he still dominates you. You need to be in control and break the relationship off. because i can tell you if you stay it will get worse.

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