by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008

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Do you consider it acceptable to maintain two (or more) separate romantic relationships, one online and one in "real life"? Or is this cheating?

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by Alex P. Keaton on July 12th, 2008
LOL I just read the "Who is your AB boyfriend/girlfriend?" question... http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/475408

Of course that question is in jest and fun, but to be serious for one moment: No, it is not acceptable. A relationship (I'm not talking flings or casual meetings - here) is a commitment. And a commitment is not a suggestion. Just because a new and unique way of meeting people comes about doesn't mean that cheaters can get a free pass on a technicality (Literally. Pardon the pun.). Relationships, real or online, are commitments. Having a second s/o whether one or both are real or online, is wrong.
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- god bless you
  
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  by ladyshakespeare on August 10th, 2008
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by Sosueme on July 12th, 2008
Online chatting is definitely NOT CHEATING. If you talk to someone else at work or at a bar, is that cheating?....Chill!
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- Um... I didn't say chatting. I said a relationship. Real feelings for someone else. People justify it by saying "well it's only online. It doesn't count." But if you have feelings for another person, online or not, I think it counts as cheating. And please don't assume I'm trying to find some way to pin my boyfriend on cheating or something, I'm just asking to find out people's thoughts.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- Everyone has feelings, especially for those with whom they come into contact. It's not cheating w/out action. Hell, I'd love to get Jessica Alba in bed (once she drops the pregnant weight), but that doesn't mean I'm cheating on my g/f.
  
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  by Sosueme on July 12th, 2008
- I'm not talking about just thinking someone's hot, either. I'm talking about the kind of thing that would be an affair if not for the distance and is therefore confined to the internet.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 13th, 2008
- It's the "if not" part that doesn't make it an affair
  
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  by Sosueme on July 13th, 2008
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by BigDaddyBS on July 12th, 2008
Romantic? I would consider it at least "emotional cheating".

Are you sure it's a romantic relationship, and not just online "flirting" as many on AB do? If THAT'S the case, I would NOT consider it cheating at all. Remember that real-life friends flirt all the time, too.
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- I'm soooo glad I live alone and don't have to worry about this stuff!!!! :)))
  
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  by shammers still slogging along on July 12th, 2008
- Even if you didn't, you shouldn't have to worry about more than flirting! ;-)
  
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  by BigDaddyBS on July 12th, 2008
- True, true. But there are so many more temptations for people than when I was married. It must be difficult for younger people. Not like the days when people were farmers and really needed each other to survive.
  
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  by shammers still slogging along on July 12th, 2008
- No, I'm not talking about just flirting. I mean genuine feelings for someone else.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- You can have genuine feelings without being romantic, but I think you're talking about the latter. Most people would consider that at least "emotional cheating".
  
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  by BigDaddyBS on July 12th, 2008
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by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on August 10th, 2008
Ask yourself this: Would you want your s/o to know about it? If not, then it's cheating.
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by thewallfly on August 5th, 2008
I'd considering it cheating, and I'm pretyt sure alot of others would too. It doesnt matter whether you can touch the person, forming more than one romantic relationship (when its not an open relationship) is never a good idea and probably reflects how much you feel about both people. Its unfair and usually a one-sided relationship.
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by happiness on August 5th, 2008
IT IS CHEATING Period..!!!!
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by JaySurf on July 12th, 2008
it would still be considered cheating....
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- I think I agree, I don't think I would appreciate it if my wife did that, I couldn't do that...
  
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  by Wiseman on July 12th, 2008
- yeah, i wouldn't be able to do that either...
  
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  by JaySurf on July 12th, 2008
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by shammers still slogging along on July 12th, 2008
People don't do this without someone else's permission. If a s/o is participating in this behavior, then the partner has allowed it. We teach people what we'll accept and what we won't just by allowing it.
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- I'm not really sure I agree with that. It's like saying that a man who marries 12 women across 8 states without any of them knowing about the others does it because they allowed him to.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- this is usually done without the partners knowledge. speaking from experience.
  
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  by ladyshakespeare on August 10th, 2008
- It just seems to me that if couples are "tuned in" to each other, one gets a sense that something is different and things aren't like they once were. Of course, not everyone has that intimate a relationship. People who have been best friends in addition to a romantic relationship I should think would notice that something was amiss.
  
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  by shammers still slogging along on August 11th, 2008
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by Mildbill on July 12th, 2008
what is your defintion of cheating? your significant other/others must agree to it, or everything s cheating...
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- Assuming they did not know.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- then how do you feel? if you got guilt.. you cheated
  
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  by Mildbill on July 12th, 2008
- I'm asking you, not myself. :p
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- lol, i have freedom issues, and everyone in my life understands it or they don't stay in my life... learned this the hard way
  so my definition of cheating is almost non existent... i also have no jealousy in me... drives some people nuts...
  
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  by Mildbill on July 12th, 2008
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by AnonymousGirl on January 9th, 2009
Yes.
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by Alias xsicajess on November 25th, 2008
If you give all you conversation/energy to this other person rather than you s/o it is cheating, because you giving what you should to the away to another.

I've been the one deprived, and it isnt very nice, at all to feel left out of your loved ones life especailly when they are right there in the home.
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by Jarrek on November 25th, 2008
Yup, if it has to deal with Cybering or more than friendly flirting.
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by BigDaddyBS on August 10th, 2008
An online friendship? No

An online relationship implies it's much MORE than that. Here, we flirt with each other all the time, but in an online relationship, if it's beyond flirting as we do here (consider cyber-sex), then YES... It's cheating.
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by suzycue on August 10th, 2008
YES, YES YES....if it is a romantic one with flirting and fantasy and all that stuff. It HURTS your partner if they know. And if it is a secret, shame, shame, shame.
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by Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls on August 10th, 2008
It's an emotional affair, so I'd say yes.
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by LuckyLefty on July 12th, 2008
i think its ridiculous to have "romance" online...

even if u dont have a relationship

yeah u can flirt around when u talk to a girl whether its in real life or online but no u cant have a "relationship" it doesnt make sense
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- Why? What makes a relationship? Talking to the person, getting to know them, sharing interests and opinions? Caring for them? Knowing their likes and dislikes, their hobbies? I believe a relationship can be just as real online as off. This is not my question, though. To those of you who believe online relationships are real, I ask the above question.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- look abstract if ur in a 'relationship' online then there are a billion ways to justify it, and i know you will find atleast a fraction of them...so im not gonna argue with you. Its just not "real" abstract, its different...its...not everything you need in/out of a relationship and i dont mean sex. The physical presence has a chemistry of its own and thats important.
  
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  by LuckyLefty on July 12th, 2008
- That's what I'm trying to get out of you. -Why- isn't it real? No one seems to have a good answer for that yet. I've been in online relationships. My first and so far biggest love of my life started out online. I moved out of state to be with him and though our relationship failed due to some bad timing issues, he's remained one of my dearest friends since. I've been fighting a long time to get people to see that online relationships are not always just shallow, flighty things.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- Abstract, you would have found out if you had stayed with him a little longer. I have a female friend who went all the way to Berkley from NY for a relationship, it went GREAT for 8 months and then the chemistry issues started. I had a guy friend who got stung by the SAME germ and he is still trying to get out of the situation. Im walking familiar grounds here so if you want to get burnt, its a better choice than a "what if" question ur gonna be asking urself all ur life.
  
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  by LuckyLefty on July 12th, 2008
- I dated him for a year and lived with him for another two. We got along great then and still do now.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- good luck abstract lol i hope it all works out for u in the end :)
  
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  by LuckyLefty on July 12th, 2008
- *sigh* Ridiculous close-minded people with no tolerance for anything different...
  
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  by Anonymous on July 12th, 2008
- u think im close minded for telling u that i've seen people go through what u did and fail terribly?
  
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  by LuckyLefty on July 12th, 2008
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by Pixie - jeg er elsket on August 5th, 2008
I think its rather sleazy
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Question

Do you consider it acceptable to maintain two (or more) separate romantic relationships, one online and one in "real life"? Or is this cheating?

Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

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Question

Do you consider it acceptable to maintain two (or more) separate romantic relationships, one online and one in "real life"? Or is this cheating?

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