Has anyone been with a drug addict and suffered abuse and lies and it has gotten better when they quit?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 5
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First of all, no, I haven't. But I'm an alcoholic. I have inflicted abuse, verbally, and I know for a fact I can't be in a relationship until I have had sobriety for at least six months. If you are not an addict, you can't understand this. But an addict is usually very emotionally unstable when they are sober, that's why they need the fix. When I stopped drinking for a few weeks, everything would be great with my exes, but as soon as I couldn't cope with something that affected me emotionally, I had to have that drink; hence, my boyfriend suffered abuse again. Addicts, I believe, need to not be in an emotional relationship until they have been sober for a long time and have sponsors and go to meetings, etc. There is no cure for the disease, but with time it can get better. And I mean a long time. Good luck with your situation.
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YES!!! But.......he never quit for me..He always said he would but could never do it. I guess I never really meant enough to him (he was my first love). He was mentally abusive and cheated on me twice. He is the reason for my difficulties today of which I'm trying to overcome..
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A close friend of mine was dating a drug addict but she didn't know it and she went through the abuse and lies and all the promises. Today he has been drug free for almost 4 years and is a counselor. I never stop telling him how proud I am of him. He did it ...in his words... "With the help of God" and those in the program and with the patience from friends and family. He is an inspiration to anyone who knows his story.
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It doesn't get better when they quit. Not right off anyways. They are actively trying to stay sober and need space. To have someone constantly reminding them of how they hurt others while they are doing the steps can be very harmful. Even once they get thru the steps they normally start them again. The guy I was seeing before is an alcoholic (or so he says). He lied throughout our entire relationship. I will give him credit for not drinking and going to AA meetings (if that's what he's really doing, he could be out drinking for all I know?). He has come clean about a lot of stuff he did and it hurts. I wanted to strangle him, to hurt him back to make him suffer. But I had to not show that pain around him for fear he'd pick up a bottle again. I am part of his past, the past where he drank and lied. If I can't forgive and move on then he has to move on without me. it's not worth it. too emotionally draining.
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It got worse. He blaims everything in his life he ever did wrong on alcohol. He feels no guilt now because he said he was sorry to those he harmed. He thinks he's made amends and he can carry on with his life while leaving those he hurt behind. He caused chaos and destruction and walked away from it all to buy a new house for him to live in. Meanwhile he made another girl refinance her house at a higher rate and left another girl pregnant. But hey it's ok because all he has to do is say "I'm sorry". Unfortunately I don't think he's in active recovery. I think he lied. He's selfish, self centered, inconsiderate, hurtful, hateful and downright mean. I liked him better when he drank. He was never mean. Ever.
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