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by Galeanda on June 11th, 2008
I think it works out very well if the family has a head, and the head of our family is my husband. Every ship, every team, needs a captain, a leader. We discuss things and come to a decision together. He can have the last word if he needs it. But if he had to decide something for the best of our family I would do as he decided because I trust him with everything, with my heart and my life and I know he will always do the best for our family.
So, yes, I do obey him, but it's not demeaning at all, it's not like master slave. It's a mutual partnership where he shows me great dignity, honor and respect by listening to my knowledge,opinions and feelings and always takes them into consideration. In fact we usually decide to go my way as I am a good thinker and planning. But there are areas where I will choose to go my own way if it violates my principles.
by Jade on June 11th, 2008
My first husband had that attitude, who became my EX in short order. If you want someone to "obey" you..adopt them, don't marry them.
by E as in egg on June 11th, 2008
No! We are equal in my marriage, and no obedience is owed to either of us.
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on June 11th, 2008
I really dislike that term. I think that in today's world it is archaic.
by katydid15 on June 11th, 2008
Ha ha ha ha ha ha... that's a good one. A real knee slapper.
by Sea Siren on June 13th, 2008
Only if he tells you to buy anything you want.
by Tex on June 11th, 2008
You should honor your husband, just like he should honor you. If he's saying something just to be in control, I think he needs an adjustment.
by Abbra gone Underground on June 11th, 2008
I am very happy to obey my wife's wishes and I know she feels happy to reciprocate.
We do not have the slightest problem about who must obey the other one's wishes *because we do not command* each other, we ask nicely.
There's only one situation when I would expect her to obey my command and that would be if her life was in danger.
by Mandie on June 11th, 2008
I am one of the lucky ones, my husband doesn't tell me he asks me. And he very rarely does that. We are always thinking alike anyway. And he always thinks about my feelings first. He is a sweetheart!
by Takei-Shihan on June 11th, 2008
... rule #1 ... never marry an a$$hole ... his orders will not be worth obeying.
... in my opinion, life is to be shared, not possessed ... so decision making and commands should be tasks that are also shared ... I do feel that both the husband and the wife should try to refrain from giving commands that are not important and asking politely instead ("will you please do this?" rather than "you must do this!"), but suddenly urgent commands should be given and obeyed without hesitation (like "get down" or "duck" or "brace yourself") ...
... as long as there is wisdom in the command and as long as there is both love and trust in the command given, then YES ... but do not obey a command just because the order came from a husband, it must be worth obeying ... and "command/obey" goes the other way too ... if the wife, in her wisdom, gives a valid command, the husband should obey ...
by Sixty B - Commander Topcoat on June 11th, 2008
The only thing I obey is my thirst!
by Anonymous on June 11th, 2008
Damn skippy.
I am just kidding. I do believe in different but equally important roles, but nobody obeys anybody.
by Mrs.Dufresne on June 11th, 2008
Only if you want to.
by devil is back on June 11th, 2008
i think that a guy that needs his wife to obey to his orders is uncapable of leading. Things gotta be decided together in a family and in a couple in some things one partner will take decisions and in other areas the other partner. in general i would say no or at least not more than the husband should obey the wife.
by Sugar-licious a bellydancing rum maiden on June 11th, 2008
I personally could not marry a man I was not willing to obey. I think if we thought about this before marriage we would be much more careful about who we choose to marry. It sort of comes natural to most men to want to be dominant and in control. If they knew the well being of their wife, their marriage, and their family was dependent upon them carefully thinking through decisions, I think men would be less selfish and more giving. In other words I think it brings out the best in a man. I think it is sad that our society sees obedience to one's husband as a weakness and something to be ashamed of. I think it takes a far stronger woman to submit. It has nothing to do with intelligence. A smart, strong woman is not going to marry a man she can't trust to make decisions and who doesn't ask for her insights on issues. There is a shared responsibility to one another. I totally agree with all that Galeanda said in her answer.
by redcatt63 is around here somewhere...... on June 11th, 2008
This ain't the dark ages! Marriages/relationships should be partnerships. I don't "obey" anyone!
by kourageous kitty on June 11th, 2008
no and he shouldn't obey you either, marriage should be an equal partnership.
by Twista on June 11th, 2008
I'd love my husband to rule, but he's a soft-hearted man. That's why I have to make decisions, take all the responsibility and initiative (including intimate part of relations), which is pretty hard for potentially submissive woman as I am. Frankly speaking, I'd rather be a little beautiful toy in hands of a strong, decisive, dominating man, but dreams are dreams, and life is life.
by Anarchy2010 on June 11th, 2008
Look, I believe in roles. When I'm married, I will make it clear that my wife is to obey me. It has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority, which is where I think the confusion comes in. Roles are the product of evolutionary adaptation in which men provided resources and the women nurtured offspring. It is more coherent for the wife to obey the husband because the man is ultimately in charge of security. Obeying him facilitates the efficiency in which he can provide the resources and security at an optimal level.
by lizizhere on June 11th, 2008
I don't really 'obey' him as much as I will listen to his side & if I think what I want to do is going to hurt our marriage I'll talk it out & smooth it over but I don't 'obey' anyone but I'll respect their opinion if they respect mine.
by Trisha Had her baby on June 11th, 2008
I don't obey anyone. That term is not a good thing in my mind. I think respect your husband/wife is a better term.
by miRi hates social norms and regulations on June 11th, 2008
only as much as he obeys me and it's not like his word is law.
i'll "listen to" him, but not become completely submissive. ultimately i'm gonna make up my own mind
by Anonymous on June 11th, 2008
There shouldn't be one partner "obeying" another partner in any relationship. "Obey" is what you have your dog do. If a relationship isn't based on mutual trust and respect you may fall into this situation but people are free to walk when a relationship is unacceptable to them. I'm not saying that we should be quick to abandon a relationship but if it's not working out...
by Mastodon on June 11th, 2008
Darn right you should woman! Now get me a beer and the sports page! XD
by bright spark. on June 11th, 2008
Depends on what you mean obey your husband as, i wouldnt personnally just cause you marry a person diesnt mean they OWN you in amny way.
by goof off on June 13th, 2008
1ST.off i will Not have a husband. a husband is to be the head of the house, but in a marriage i feel it is a 50-50 thing but he must respect his wife & her opinion, & both talk it out.
by Spirit of the Nomad on June 11th, 2008
In every relationship of any kind there is one dominant figure and one submissive figure; if it so happens that the man is calling the shots and the woman is following orders and they are both happy in that arrangement then props to that couple for finding a person they are compatible with.
by mutinous_pixie on June 11th, 2008
not if he is wrong. always do what you believe to be right.
by ugg on July 28th, 2008
Obey us? You don't even listen to us... and then, when its the world cup final, in the last 5 minutes of play, you want to talk about the colour of dress a friend once had 9 years ago, and then complain that we never listen.
by Anonomous on June 26th, 2008
LOL, NO! I do respect him though.
by todgeroo on June 26th, 2008
the definition of the word obey means 'To carry out or fulfill the command, order, or instruction of'. No relationship should be based on commands or instruction, its based on understanding, compromise and being considerate. obey is what an animal does. i think you need to build ur confidence and realise that ever human is an equal regardless of their sex, colour, status or background.
by obeying someone you are saying you are not an equal.
by Bride2B on June 26th, 2008
I will listen to his advise - but I am still my own person.
I will listen but it doesn't meen that I will obey him. I still am my own boss, but I will consider what he says and think it through.
by Tex on June 24th, 2008
21st century America says the woman plays just as integral a role in the decision making, and, as you know, are considered equals, in the eyes of the law, and, more and more so, in relationship structure.
by rock on June 22nd, 2008
I wouldn't use the word "obey" in marriage, but a perfect wife should just respect and do what he really wishes! ^_-
I'm about to get married though! 1 more month! wish me luck ^_^
by TERRYTUKER on June 21st, 2008
What, obey this NOBODY has the right unless your a guardian, obey your husband or wife NO, RESPECT ALLWAYS
by I'm a ginger on June 17th, 2008
I am not a big fan of the Obey your husband/wife thing, I think that there should be a mutual respect, and that there should be discussions on what you should do as a couple, whether it be when you have children, if they are planned, the budget or whatever.
by Nitroduck on June 12th, 2008
Within these threads, there are references to Neanderthals. I didn't realize what I was until just that moment. I am THE neanderthal... I find myself at the unpopular end of many conversations on here. (but thankfully, no one treats me poorly) Home defense, for example: I sleep with the doors unlocked and an HK USP40 in battery, snugged away in a mattress holster... I don't lock the doors, because I don't want to have to drag a stiff out of my living room AND have to fix a broken lock. I spank the piss out of my children when they need it - and - expect them to call me "sir" when I am discussing their misdeed. I expect my wife to be obedient. She is a smart, accomplished woman who is scared of bugs, housefires and bad guys. I am equipped and able to deal with all three. Security is what makes me the Alpha in our family pack.
Security is far more than just stomping bugs, and doing bad guys. The leadership I display at home, makes her feel that I can be a provider by taking my decisiveness to the workplace and excelling. My leadership is: Physical security, Financial security and Emotional security. My wife is not a pet, or a barnyard animal, she is a very intelligent, articulate, educated and successful woman who happens to appreciate these comforts that I provide. It’s not some kind of autocratic, authoritarian beating into submission, it’s a healthy, alpha driven pack… A family. Being obedient does not mean “without a voice”. Family decisions are discussed as a group, and I take the information and make the call. My leadership is the greatest gift I have to offer my family, for they live under the veil of its security and comfort. And my wife, in particular is woman enough to appreciate it. To be submissive, is actually to have control. I may call myself “the boss”, and I may make firm decisions – but it’s all for the fulfillment of my wife and children’s needs and dreams.
If your husband is not a leader, then you don’t have to obey him. If you look around society, each and every person here knows a man who is nagged by his wife… I guarantee you it’s either because he is lazy, or will not make a decision. He is not keeping his wife satisfied with these things, so she nags.
Leading is a lot of work, but without it, happiness is a whispy thin memory.
by Jane on June 11th, 2008
I don't think I have been a situation that requires an obedience reaction and I have been married for years.
We are equals and discuss things. We throw ideas around in the pot and sometimes his is better, sometimes mine. We reach an agreement and then act upon it.
by kookie on June 11th, 2008
if your a christian yes.. but then again if you married a christian man that was TRUE you wouldnt have no doubt in your mind but to respect him and listen.And he in turn would do the same. but if your talking about muslim guys.. wow.. one word..run.
by Good to be me on June 11th, 2008
Obey sounds more like he's your master. In that context, whose you're husband to tell you want to do? I'm 26 and just got divorced from a controling abusive bastard, so my answer is NO. You are your own person.
by Brian on June 27th, 2008
I think my wife should listen and give thoughtful consideration to my requests on important matters, and I should do the same for her.
I don't expect her to obey me (honor my request without thinking or if she doesn't agree with it), because there have been quite a few times when I was wrong.
BTW, I may have already answered this question, but there are so many answers and so many heated debates, that I got lost and too distracted to see if I had. :p
by R.I.P. Gerald Malone on June 26th, 2008
LOL...touchy subject. Not necessarily "obey" him, but he is technically supposed to be the leader of the household. If all the husband has to do is throw commands at you and expect you to obey them, there is something wrong. So no.
by TwiceShy on June 26th, 2008
HELL NO!!! This is the 21st century here!
by truthfull on June 26th, 2008
it takes more confidence to obey your husband!
and we all know we are equal that conversation is so
yesterday.it takes strength to obey your husband and it makes him stronger too. the more you obey him the deeper he will love you,and the more he will desire to please you,
if you think marriage is all understanding compromise and being considerate WAKE UP!! are you even married
to those who are reading take advice from the happily married it dose not make sence to follow in the footsteps of the unmarried or the married 3 times over
hello!!
by MommaMia on June 26th, 2008
The Holy Bible says for women to obey their husbands. It also says for men to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
If a man treats his wife with the love of Christ she will gladly obey him. A Godly man would not be a task master either. He would listen to what his wife is saying.
I see the man in my life like an umbrella, protecting me and the kids from the storms of life. I know that he has received God's wisdom to make decisions and yet he always asks my opinion. If I think his decision is wrong, and sometimes it is, he apologizes if/when he realizes it.
Marriage is a partnership.
I once read something about woman being made from mans rib. When they stand together, they are side by side, not one in front of the other. Also, the man is most times taller and his arm embraces the wife, not pushing her lower than him, just embracing her. There is more to that commentary but I can't recall right now.
I hope this has helped you.
by Snooch on June 24th, 2008
I do believe that when I get married I should obey my husband.
I would not marry a man that I did not truly love or trust to lead me but I will obey my husband as that is a sign of respect and great dignity in a marriage.
The term "obey" does not mean to me that we are not equals in intelligence.
Save your downrates, what I eat does not make you fat.
by MADDY on June 23rd, 2008
obey the one who is right...person no matters...!!!
by Gabby on June 22nd, 2008
If he asked me not to do something, I would consider it. If he ordered me to do something, like they say "it ain't never gonna happen" I don't take orders. If we are in disagreement about something, we discuss it. Then I make up my own mind.
by Stillme FBB on June 20th, 2008
Not always. A man should be the head of the household IF he is a MAN, This doesn't mean he is the boss of me. I didn't apply for a job just applied for a marriage license. To be as one, not be #2. Not to walk behind, or ahead of, to silently walk beside of, and when the S/O walks on water it is due to the fact we were the rock that held them up! So no,I don't obey any man, I may choose to let him guide my way, if he is worthy of my trust.
by madwife on June 17th, 2008
This discussion took a wrong turn somewhere! I would have never thought that this topic would spark such anger in so many people. I commented above but after thought I realize that I took it as a personal attack on women and should have taken a moment to cool down before answering. (Something everyone should have done)
I feel that a women should obey her husband and the husband should obey his wife. Obey meaning, respecting honoring and remaining faithful to the one you love. These are the vows that I took when I stood at the front of the alter and married my husband. If this is what you meant when asking this question than YES you should obey your husband.
If you meant obey, by submitting, being over powered and controlled then no I disagree. You should find a friend in your spouse. I was not born in a time where women are pulled by their hair to the cave. I deserve a equal partnership in the marriage.
I hope to live in a time where everyone is treated equally no matter what sex, color, nationality they are or what their sexual preference may be. God made us all different but his intent was not to have us categorized.
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Comments
I agree (for the most part) :)
by ChandaDiane - est. 1975 on June 11th, 2008
I completely agree.
by Sugar-licious a bellydancing rum maiden on June 11th, 2008
I agree, as long as the husband doesn't try to be like a slave owner, or think he is God. My husband can take being the head a little to far, and even tells our children 'Daddy's the boss', and that's when I remind him that a leader represents the family and does whats in each members best intrest, he's not the owner, he's the guide. He's not there to be served, tho I treat him very well, he's there to serve his families needs by giving each what they need. Some day it will click in with him. :)
by Serious... on November 11th, 2008
That is true, there has to be a captain or leader. When the Klingons are circling the Enterprise would have been blown into pizza toppings if Capt. James T. Kirk had to consult the bridge before rasing shields, firing the torpedoes, or whatever. In a Christian household(for those who believe)the Bible has a definate pecking order; God, Jesus, church, man, wife, children, pets(animals). And the wife SUBMITS to her husband, not obey as the children have to. People misunderstand that as the woman being a slave to her husband. WRONG, to submit to someone you do it willingly, just as those who submit to Christ do so because they WANT TO not because we HAVE TO. But the man has his duties to his wife an family, he can't just take with out consequence or giving anything back. The husband is suppose to be the leader because the wife WANTS to follow him, not because she FEARS him.
by Hypocrisy_Central on October 20th, 2009
And wives/women get the huge privilege of choosing who they want to submit to. So that's why they should do so carefully and with much thought, not just "We're in love!"
by Galeanda on October 20th, 2009