I am getting serious with my girlfriend after a year, but I feel the need to get my sexual desire out before I make a lifelong commitment.
Am I wrong for thinking or wanting to do that?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 7
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Um....yeah. If you want a serious relationship with your girlfriend, one that continues on longer then your proposed fling or flings, then yes. Cheating is cheating is cheating. If you are having these feelings of needing to "get your sexual desire out" then perhaps you aren't ready for a long term relationship and it would be kinder to your girlfriend to cut her loose and let her find someone who is willing to remain faithful to her. When you are ready to be an adult then you can find someone to be faithful to. To: jwmbiz:re: "It's normal for guys to want "their fair share" of the female population" Let's rephrase that....it's normal for some guys to think they are entitled to behave like neanderthals? Thanks goodness I didn't marry one of those!
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Agree with Mary 100%. Plus, you would be better off getting your sexual desires out with your current girlfriend. Focus on forming that intimate bond with her. Hey, it could be lots of fun for the two of you to explore :) If you are thinking of making a commitment, such as marriage, there is no room for error past that point. If you're unsure about being ready to commit then don't do it until you are 100% doubt free. Infidelity is not a nice thing and it has destroyed many a relationship. Put the shoe on the other foot. . .if your current girlfriend decided to go get her sexual desires out, how would you feel?
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Its not so much about growing up.. if you are getting to the point where you are wanting to become serious then you should tell your partner about the mixed feelings you are having, which is perfectly normal. then you two should reach a concensus as adults on how to rectify the situation
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No, its not wrong. But you should let her know what you're feeling and thinking. You have to be FAIR to her and if you want that chance to fullfill your desires you have to be willing to give her the same opportunity. You do not want to do it when you are committed and end up CHEATING! Suggest a break and be keep in contact let her know you care for her and be HONEST through the entire time... if she loves you enough, she'll wait. TRUST ME, its the way to go.
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Yes, it would be wrong if only because it won't work. You can't get your sexual desires 'out'; they aren't like a case of food poisoning and if you throw up, it will be gone. If you are feeling an increase in sexual urges/desires, they won't subside or disappear, if you fulfill them; they might even get stronger because you will have the pleasure pay-off. The best thing to do is discuss this with your girlfriend, and come to an agreement about whether to continue the relationship if there is a large difference in your sexual desires and expectations.
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Having these sexual desires are nothing more than human, but what separates humans from animals, is our ability to reason and control our appetites. If you're still looking to explore the sexual realm, then you're certainly not ready for commitment. In my opinion, it's probably a phase. Most men get anxious or frightened in the time a serious commitment like marriage is proposed. It can be a stomach turning thought that you may never have to do the whole dating and mating process again in your life, after doing it for so long. For some perhaps a relief, in your case I'd assume the former. If you really need to release your sexual desires then you have to be honest with her before hand. Just remember two things; you could be throwing away the \"one\" for some momentary lust and it could take some time before you get in to a good relationship again. Whatever you decide, be honest. Infidelity is a serious issue, and can do long term damage to the other. Take it from someone who knows first hand.
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I was/am in the same situation. Here is how you tell. If you go out by urself and you find urself to willing to flirt with another girl then you are not ready to be committed to this girl. It sucks but its the truth. You are going to keep thinking about banging another girl so bad that u are gonna take it out on the one ur with in other ways...It sucks cause u probably do think that girl is Miss Right but just not right now. Either way u have to make a decision. Either be totally committed or leave.
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