If you have been with someone for over 5 years. You love them, though you find them complicated at times. They tell you they need a few months away to find themselves and rejuvenate. Would the alarm bells for break up ring, or do you give them space?
by 
tata30
ANSWERS: 8
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Very depressing, but you would want to give them there space otherwise things could get worse. This is why committment through marriage is so important to me. (I've went this route before) It's not fair! You invest all those years into a person, and then all of assudden it comes to a complete end. But to tell you the truth, it might be a sign that it is time to go your seperate ways. Sometimes we don't listen to our heart, but we ought too.............>
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Alarm bells would be ringing for me and id be really unhappy with what he would be doing in those few months, as i wouldnt know who or what he was with.
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Give them space!! It really helps sometimes... My sister broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years a few months ago because he wouldn't give her that space... He kept bothering her and not giving her the space that she needed to think about things! So she got even more frustrated with him and left him...
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That is a five alarm. I would point to them, and say "you are right there, now you dont have to find yourself", "Go take a calgon bath to rejuvenate". It isd a lame excuse, to get out of the relationship, without you getting really mad, they string you along, until you get tired of the games, then they can feel good, by saying, at least I tried.
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Give them the space they need - but don't wait for them. Think about it, when you're married you can't just 'go away' to refresh. This person is obviously being selfish and not thinking about how their need to 'rejuvenate' means that they will not be there to support YOU. That's not the way a 'partner' thinks. Staying with a selfish person only leads to heartache in the end. It could be that this person is immature and needs time to grow up. In that case, who knows, maybe down the line you'll get back together, but I wouldn't wait around...
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It's really hard. When someone says they need space its because they want to see how they will feel if they were "almost" to break up with you. They don't know how they will feel so they give it a try by going on a "break". It SUCKS-even if you are the one who wants the break. I wanted a break from my ex for a long time and I suffered even more than him. Right now he's having a blast with his family and I'm totally depressed about "the break". And again, I am the one who wants the break.
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I've NEVER been one to agree with "time apart," as I think it's just an excuse to explore other options while keeping you on standby. I would definitely be alarmed, but if you have the patience, then go ahead and give them the space, but prepare yourself for the worst, because that way, when/if they decide to break up with you, you will have had that time to prepare yourself for it and you can shrug it off easier. Also, a bonus is that if you prepare for the worst, and you get any better, then your emotions can only improve from what you expected them to be. ALSO, take that time off to reflect on yourself, and what you might be doing wrong in the relationship for them to have to take that time off. If you can't find anything wrong with what you are doing, and they kind of dangle you in the air for a while, it might not be worth it, and you could turn the tables on them and break up with them because you were already patient enough to allow them the b.s. time out in the first place. Good luck.
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i am going through this exact same thing at the moment. though the boyfriend in question is deciding whether to break up OR go on a break. obviously when you really love someone you will do nearly anything to keep them, so i am willing to give this break a go. but that is not saying that i wont die a little bit inside everything i can't get him on the phone... thinking its because he "is finding himself" with other women. what you need to think about is what you have in your 5+ yeah relationship worth the possible heartache you will receive during the break? is there still love from both of you, and what about friendship?
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