My husband has a habit of raising his voice to me, which sometimes hurts my feelings and makes me cry. This happened last night, and he said I am being dramatic and too sensitive...which only hurt my feelings more. Is he right?
by 
Miss Awesome
ANSWERS: 13
Playstation 5 News
Don't Miss It!
All the Latest Announcements
Ad
-
He has to realize that a woman is a "weaker vessel". We are not inferior, we just need to be treated with more care because we are fragile. Tell him you are like champagne flute and he is like a heavy pub stein and that you need to be handled with the utmost care. I wonder if he would take that tone and say those things to his mother. I suspect not. You are on the same level as his mother... he should respect your feelings and not try to brush them aside.
-
I don't think so. Regardless of what his words were, I think that if you have expressed to him that you don't like for him to raise his voice at you, and he continues to do so, seems like he doesn't want to compromise a little or make an effort. Perhaps you should have a talk about it when you're both calm, be sincere about this. Good luck.
-
Stop whining and get a backbone.
-
Nope, he is wrong. If he was just raising his voice in excitement or enthusiasm, that would be one thing but it doesn't sound like that is it.
-
Suppose it depends. Some people accuse me for raising my voice, when I don't believe I am, when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about. Is he straight out yelling at you, in anger, or is his voice just raising loudly. If he is just getting excited, then perhaps your just being to dramatic. But if he is actually is yelling at you, perhaps he needs anger management.
-
Many men need to learn to strike the words, "You are being dramatic and overly-sensitive" from their vocabularies. When men say this they are trying to reason with a woman, but what they are REALLY doing is infuriating them. On all women those words have the opposite effect of their intention. Perhaps the two of you could sit down when you are both is a calmer frame of mind (i.e. NOT right away) and talk about how you would prefer he talk to you during stressful moments. This will give him the opportunity to express why he talks the way he does and if he is willing to try something new. It's been my experience that during arguments it is very easy to exaggerate the harshness of the other person's tone. I once tape recorded an argument where a girlfriend swore that I was yelling at her, yet when I played it back I was talking almost in whisper. Emotions amplify everything.
-
First, Women are not "Weaker Vessels", Women are a lot stronger than you think and if a women cry's, chances are it had to be something that really "hit them below the belt" when said. Yes sometimes women can be a bit dramatic but who isn't these days. And everyone is fragile believe it or not. Second, in order to get some kind of decent feedback about your situation, we would need to know what occured in terms of what was said between the two of you without exaggeration. (That's up to you) But it would still be one sided. Third, if this is not the first time you've felt this way in which you've cried in front of him as it happened, and he doesn't try to make you feel better, then you need to keep it moving....right on to the next guy. No one, Man or Woman should have to raise their voice to get their point across. Try talking calmly to him and if it doesn't work, go with whatever your gut says. It's normally right. I've learned how to do so and so can the next person. It's called communication skills.
-
It may be just a habit resulting from impatience. Even though you'd probably be better off just letting it roll off that doesn't make his behavior appropriate. Is there somebody neutral, such as clergy or a counseler the two of you could talk to about it-if he's willing? If he won't do it go by yourself to learn how to deal with it because it probably won't get better with time.
-
I am wondering if you knew about his "raising his voice" before you got married and why you thought, if you did, that you would be able to deal with his loudness after the marriage. I grew up around a man (my dad) who was THUNDEROUS when he was pissed and any other times, he had a tendency to speak louder than most, but that's just the way he is and maybe my dad's got a hearing problem...maybe it's just that he grew up in a rough neighborhood with 8 brothers...I don't know but it never bothered me as I knew that's just the way he is and he loved my sister and I very much. I don't have a problem with guys yelling or generally talking loud because I can yell just as loud if I need to. Are your feelings hurt because of "what" he said or was it really because of the volume of his voice? It's not really who's right or wrong unless he is being verbally abusive, but it's just a matter of seeing it as differences and talking with him to let him know if he wants to get your attention, that's not the way to do it.
-
There are no 'right' or 'wrong' feelings; they just are. If you are a sensitive soul, that doesn't make you wrong and him right. He shut you out by making that accusation of being dramatic and too sensitive; that's a real communication stopper if I ever heard one. He needs to learn to accommodate other people's feelings. You say he has a habit of doing this, that must mean that it happens more than once in a while. Was he like this before you married him or is this a recent behaviour change? If it is recent, it could be indicative of something serious going on in his life that he is taking out on you; not a wise thing to do and certainly not conducive to a happy home life.
-
No, I don't believe he is right. Anytime anyone raises his voice to us, it hurts. He would be hurt if you raised your voice to him. Most normal people would be. It is expressing irritation or impatience. Nobody wants that.
-
No way. You what? RAISE your voice right back and see how he likes it! It is disrepectful and inconsiderate. You are too good for that and no one deserves that.
-
No hes not right, marriage is a funny thing, and hard to negotiate.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC