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I do not mean any disrespect here, but I have heard this from several women who where raised in strict homes say this very same thing. What has worked for them is to talk to an uninvolved 3rd party. Perhaps a therapist may be helpful to discover why you are finding it difficult to "let go". Maybe you simply have not found the person who you can trust 1000%. Good luck on your journey.
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Not to be rude (and I know this is an old question, but I figured you may want an answer) but try getting comfortable having an orgasm, as in having one on your own (as in masturbation)... Maybe that can help... If you can learn to be calm on your own, then you should be able to with a partner... Hope this helps... :D
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