I am pretty sure that my son is gay - I love him and am proud of him and I am fine with it but disappointed that he may never be a parent himself - I think he would make a fantastic dad. How do I cope with my own disappointment without alienating him?
by 
Piggle
ANSWERS: 33
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he has the possibility of adopting and besides that its his decision and you don't know what the future holds. try supporting him and keeping the lines of communication open.
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It sounds like you have a fine son. If that is what he wants for himself you should be happy that he is happy. By wanting him to have children you are living your life through him. It simply isn't your place. It may simply not be what HE wants. As a parent you really should want him to live life in a manner that makes HIM happy. You should be very proud to have raised a fine son and you should let him know it.
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First of all remove yourself from that equation. It is not about you..it is about your son. His job is not to bring you grandchildren..his job is to find his own way in life, find a life that is true and honorable, and find a way to feel good about himself. If you can stand back and realize that once you raised him and he became able to take care of himself, your job was done, that would be good. To the degree that you can support him and continue to make him feel that he is a worthwhile person, it is to that degree that you will become a good friend. He does not need you to be disappointed..he needs you to celebrate his life! :)
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If you have other grandchildren, perhaps he can be a wonderful uncle to them. In that way he will be able to share the qualities that you see in him that would make him a great dad.
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Why can't he be a dad? There are tons of gay dads out there.
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It's great that you love and accept your son and proud of him. But, as any parent should, they should wish nothing but happiness for their children. If or when he wants to have children, he still can. We have a lot of gay/lesbian friends who have kids. I think all parents hope their kids have children...not even all straight people want to have kids. I've seen a lot of parents nag their kids about having children when they didn't want them (or if they wanted to wait a while). My brother's ex mother-in-law even started buying baby things as soon as they were married. Thankfully, they didn't have kids, considering how bitterly the marriage ended. The only disappointment you should have is if your son isn't happy.
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How do you deal with this? By getting some facts. There is NO reason your son cannot be a parent, unless of course you live in bigoted Florida where LGBT adoptions are barred. All of the LGBT people I know who are parents are terrific at it - very caring, understanding, good listeners. The only thing I would advise you against is playing the "grandchildren" card too hard. This turns sons and daughters off. Kudos to you for being a supportive parent! +5
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piggle, i am the farther of a beautiful, frustrating teen. gay people do have children. if you want we can set up a time share. you can have her on all the days she feels like jerking my chain!
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He can always adopt and still be that great father you'd think he would make.
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just because your son is gay does not necesserally mean he will never be a parent there are many options open to gay couples nowadays
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Perhaps your son would be interested in becoming a sperm donor to another couple (of any origin.) Arrangements could be made with people he knows are interested in having a child with him.
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Why do you think he's gay anyway?
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Just because he won't ever have conventional sex with a woman doesn't mean he won't be a parent. He can always have a surrogate, or adopt. Life is never absolute. *Edit- I also agree with many of the posters here. This is about him and not about you. You may have wanted grandchildren, but you cannot control your children. If he wants to have kids, he still can. If he doesn't, you have to accept that- it's not your life.
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Realize that his sexual orientation doesn't preclude him becoming a parent. That is a stereotype and fear that you have, not reality.
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You 'disappointment' is your ego (Edging God Out) talking. It's not about you so let go of your programmed expectations. Practice unconditional love with him. And by the way, he can still be a parent. He can adopt.
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Who said your son can't give you grandkids just because he is gay. He can always adopt if he has the desire to be a parent and there is always a surrogate mother as well. Just because he's gay doesn't mean that dashes your hopes of becoming a grandparent one day.
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There was no guarantee that even if he's straight he'd conceive hids. How many couples do you know who never have been parents? His life, his choice, and your disappointment is your problem, not his. And besides, grandma, that's about 3,276 dirty diapers you won't have to change. ;-)
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I'd have a chat...lol Don't assume that if he is, he won't choose to become a parent as many here shared. Also...weather he is Gay or not...this is a very loving thought you have about what a fantastic person you believe him to be...focus on the wonderful and remember if you want to make a profound and beautiful difference in a child's life NOW...related by blood or not YOU HAVE THE POWER to become part of a child's life. It sounds like you did a damn fine job with your son...don't be slow to share this type of love with a child in need. It doesn't mean you have to adopt full time or even foster...you can mentor a boy or girl who needs a stable, loving person to spend SOME TIME with!
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ur son is gay get over it ( crusty) (green) (snotters) there is nothing rong wit gay ppl XD
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First of all ask him if he is...Don't jump the gun...If he is gay, fine let him make his own decision about kids back off ma!!!!!
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If he really would make a wonderful dad, he'll want to be one, and he will find a way to. As so many have pointed out, there are lots of gay dads, and lots of different kinds of families. But there may be a time when he needs to talk to you about this. If it's hard for you to deal with the idea that grandchildren won't be matter of fact, then perhaps it will be hard for him too. Deciding to have children is tough, but even tougher when a couple can't conceive them together. Seeking information now for your own peace of mind may be valuable for helping him in the future.
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Depending on his age, there may still be hope for him. Make sure to be a manly example to your son. He needs manly heroes to look up to and to pattern his behavior. There's a book that I highly recommend for both you and your son: "Man Of Steel And Velvet" by Aubrey Andelin. http://fascinatingwomanhood.net/books/bookshlf.php
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If it is his descsion to have a child ..he will..times are changing....you will get to be grandma
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ooooh BIG words now hahahahaha
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Hold on! Crusty green snotters is our catchphrase hunnie! IM SHURE U HAVE THEM 2 HAHAHAHA
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#1 First off he can still donate sperm to the local sperm bank. #2 Him and his s/o can adopt #3 Its his choice(you should be happy for him no matter what.) #4 Let him know no matter what his sexual preference might be, you will always be there to support him in life. #5 Once you find out ask him to bring his s/o by so you can meet them.
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My best friend is gay and I love him so much but sometimes I feel the same way. He would be an awesome husband and father but instead he gets his heart broken everyday by men who don't appreciate his heart. It's definitely not an anti-gay thing that I feel, but I hurt for him. However, he has to make his own decisions regarding his own life. So what do I do? Pray.
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Even though he is gay he can still be a parent. And second this is your son you have to accept him for who he is. It really has nothing to do with you.
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just because he won't procreate with a spouse doesn't mean he won't have kids. he could adopt or use a surrogate. all is not lost!
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Perhaps disappointment is that you will have nno grandchildren. Love and you will have many sons and daughters that will be happy to call you dad
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There are many ways to be a dad and many children in the world looking for a home and someone to love them. You don't know that your son won't be a dad. But even if he isn't, just continue to love and appreciate him for who he is. You are a good parent. You may want to become involved with children who need a grandparent role model to help round out that aspect of your own life. Blessings, Suzanne
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Actually your son can still be a proud father :) me being gay myself and wanting kids have searched the topic and found out gay men can have babies of their own it's called artificially inseminated To read up on it heres a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_insemination :) I hope i was of help Danny
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He could adopt. Don't worry.:-)
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