Should parents spank their kids for wrong doing or find an alternative method{like restriction or time out} what would produce better results?kids nowadays seem less scared of consequences to lying or their actions

Comments

• That's so true.

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• No. Lazy parents don´t spank.

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  by anonymous on December 9th, 2010

• You know, I guess it really DOES require a lot of energy to hit children.

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  by quack is whack on December 9th, 2010

• No, Quack, I think you had it right the first time - spanking is lazy parenting relative to non-corporal disciplinary methods. I think what Laurie referred to, complete ambivalence and neglect toward a child such that the parent doesn't even bother with discipline, could best be termed the "laziest" parenting.
  
  Forms of discipline that don't involve corporal punishment require a parent to think through the best solution for getting the point across and reinforcing correct behavior in the child. To have the knowledge to do this, I occasionally attend speaker lectures and also read up on disciplinary methods and child psychological development: all in all a big commitment. Relative to that, spanking is lazy. Spanking simply involves allowing our anger and frustration toward a child's transgression to be expressed quickly and physically.
  
  Non-corporal methods also take longer to execute than the minute or two it takes to strike a child. That means the parent has to give up more of that precious resource called our free time for the greater good of their child. When I have to take time out to oversee my child's punishment activities, sometimes I feel a lot of resentment - I'm already angry at whatever my son or daughter did, and now I'm in the "penalty box" alongside him or her. There is certainly the temptation to go the quicker, "lazy" route.
  
  Thinking up and executing an effective combination of both the restriction of privileges and the performance of tasks based on the infraction committed is hard work. It can help the child's mind make a clear and long-term connection between his transgression, the moral requirement to confess and seek redemption from others who are adversely affected by the child's act, and the reinforcement of the positive through performing tasks that benefit others.

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  by you want the truth? You can't handle the on December 11th, 2010

• That was wonderfully said, Truth. :)

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  by quack is whack on December 12th, 2010

• Absolutely! Well said. It's MUCH more work to actually teach a kid. Imagine??? Work raising a child, much easier for someone to hit them. So many people just shouldn't have kids, or a class should be taught, like when you adopt a child, it is taught that spanking, hitting is ineffective and in fact harmful.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• Talk about your misguided and misinformed opinion! ^_^

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  by Scorpyon on December 26th, 2010

• Talk about attacking an opinion with yet another opinion, while at the same time offering nothing of value to the debate! ^_-

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  by quack is whack on December 26th, 2010

• Hey quack how is the view from your glass house?
  
  You can disagree with spanking all you want, but to call it "lazy parenting" does nothing by way of "offering anything of value to the debate"...it's simply an inflamatory and ignorant remark laced with prejudice, so get off your soap box.
  
  As Anonymous Parenting Expert pointed out, spanking is not the Litmus test of good parenting; there are bad parents that don't spank and good ones that do. It's closed-minded bigots like you that are the reason that there aren't more "meaningful debates", because you've already made up your mind about spanking and those who practice it.

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  by Sanny on December 28th, 2010

• Lazy parenting? I wouldnt think a lazy parent would even get off their ass to spank their child.

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  by A7Xroxmysox on December 29th, 2010

• Sanny, I wasn't aware that offering a very simple summation of an opinion was getting on a soapbox - but then, it does seem that personal attacks on an individual when you know nothing about the reasoning behind said remark or, to be sure, anything else about that individual are likewise "ignoratn remarks laced with prejudice" simply because you disagree. You seem yourself to have already made up your mind insofar as I am concerned.
  
  I don't care that you disagree - in fact, feel free to do so, and I commend you for doing so in a relatively intelligent, somewhat verbose manner. But realize that your remarks are pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.
  
  This is a debate asking a simple "yes" or "no" question. I offered up a simple answer - my own opinion. Hard to accept sometimes, I know.
  
  A7X - Yes, I did say lazy parenting. It takes far more time and energy to instill an intrinsic sense of right from wrong within a human being than it does to demonstrate crime and punishment. Ultimately what the debates regarding to spank or not to spank wind up as are whether you want a child to "respect" authority and the punishment that follows crime - but in my opinion, doing the right thing should be something that is intrinsically motivated within individuals rather than extriniscally. Does it always work? Surely not; nothing is perfect. But it doesn't hurt to try.

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  by quack is whack on December 29th, 2010

Comments

• I perfectly agree with you.

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  by Polyethylene on November 30th, 2010

• Agreed.

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  by Sodapop on November 30th, 2010

• I agree too!

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  by Nikolle on December 2nd, 2010

• I'll agree with the yes person being a douchebag part, but I do believe spanking is a valuable form of discipline.

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  by snowslip on December 2nd, 2010

• Excellent Ahlberg! The fear of change in many people blocks their ability to simply open up to evaluating current research and logic on an issue, instead falling back on the "it's the way we've always done it and it's been good enough" assertion.
  
  These hordes of modern-day Luddites appear on the scene, claiming that we need to return to the solid moral codes and unquestioned authority of the father from the "good old days", forgetting those days were characterized by widespread abuse of children, widespread child labor abuses, much higher child mortality rates, and lives that were short and brutish for adults as well. Attempts to improve the rights of those who didn't have a voice nor much legal protection back in the good old days (such as children) stimulates a reaction in the Luddites as if you spit on their family tree. They represent it as a personal attack on the traditions and morals of their forefathers.
  
  Yes, Henny Penny, and the sky is falling too!

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  by you want the truth? You can't handle the on December 11th, 2010

• I like the way you bring up your topics and issues. Well said.

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  by Polyethylene on December 12th, 2010

• Your studies are flawed spanking works. Never abused a child,left a bruise, or warped persona... so spanking is not a stepping stone to any of those either... Where do you nonspankers think the attitude of " I can do what I want when I want" comes from ? not getting instantly corrected up to and including a swat or two on the rear end or spanking, however spanking and beating ARE different and NO CHILD should EVER be beaten

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  by Sheldon_B on December 29th, 2010

• Very well said.

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  by snowslip on December 30th, 2010

• Hey Sheldon, are you assuming that every child is the same? Are you saying that just as raping a girl may lead her to suicide it will every other one as well?? NO. I for one believe that you must've analyzed that as your studies are also flawed, because by assuming the reply you wrote you're closing your mind to a specific result and limiting yourself to it by saying that every child will become the same example that dominates a vast part of kids in America in the 21st century. Just because one kid sees a crime being done doesn't mean that he'll grow up to be a thief, although it may have some influence on him to commit something alike some day but that, the other part which will have an important effect on his or her life depends on the education said child is being given. Much more than a child's way of punishment is what matters when raising a child, if you don't find it when you look it up, you should raise a child yourself.

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  by Polyethylene on January 3rd, 2011

• Sheldon never implied that all children are the same, he was simply saying that spanking teaches a lesson that, while other forms of discipline may work to perform, the reaction to pain is the strongest.

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  by snowslip on January 3rd, 2011

• Maybe where you've probably tried it, but it doesn't guarantee anything.

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  by Polyethylene on January 3rd, 2011

• Nothing is guaranteed, but in experience, it has been effective. That is why I agree with it.

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  by snowslip on January 4th, 2011

• This is the thing, at least in this subject what I for one am trying to do is present the fact that one can actually open up one's mind to alternative methods to different ways of thinking, sure if you wish to limit yourself to that then do it because truth be told, you are just one person on the face of the planet presenting one mentality which will be ignored or cherished throughout the nation or even globally, although not to flatter myself but in terms of being what society stands for I apparently am an even smaller person, why? Because even less people seem to agree with me, according to the poll's results most believe in effectiveness of spanking rather than any other method of effecting punishment. That's just the way the world is, I for one am mostly opposed to mainstream things for even if anything that appeals to me has more value it is still considered the opinion of a minority. Now, returning to the poll for we shouldn't diverge from it too much, maybe it simply is effective, but it's not what I believe in, for moral, ethic, possible side effects and my personal views in general, enough said.

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  by Polyethylene on January 4th, 2011

Comments

• I've heard this before, and think I may see if I can conduct a study with prison inmates, asking them whether or not they were spanked as a child. I'm betting most inmates were. Especially those convicted of violent crimes.

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  by quack is whack on November 30th, 2010

• Another very opinionated comment. I was spanked, are you saying I'm going to go to prison?

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  by Jessica on November 30th, 2010

• How militant of you Jess. So sorry for having an opinion. I said nothing about people being spanked going to prison; rather that I was betting that most people in prison were spanked. Not the same thing.

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  by quack is whack on November 30th, 2010

• Eta: an opinion in a debate, no less. I'll try to refrain from that here on out.

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  by quack is whack on December 1st, 2010

• But you were also putting forth that spanking is not good, because it created tyrants out of people, by saying that the criminals in jail probably were given this type of punishment. So it may not work on some people, but it does work on some kids.

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• Did I say anything about tyrants? Did you read more into my answer than was there? And did you just reiterate what was exactly my point? That people in jail most likely were spanked rather than being not spanked growing up, which nullifies the above argument that Holly made? Smooth move. Very smooth.

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  by quack is whack on December 1st, 2010

• Alright, then please explain your point. Why do you bet that most people who are in jail, especially for serious crimes, were spanked growing up?

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• Must I explain every train of thought to satisfy you? I wouldn't want to, you know, state another opinion in such a cavalier manner as to present it as fact, or vice-versa.
  
  All I'm saying is that the above statement implying that not spanking a child is in any way likely to result in his or her future imprisonment is a platitude, at best. And part of the reason I'm betting that most prison inmates WERE spanked is simply because spanking is a common enough practice that I'd be willing to say that most people were spanked at some point during their childhood.
  
  Hope that is satisfactory for you chica.
  
  :bows out:

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  by quack is whack on December 2nd, 2010

• Alright, thanks.

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  by Jessica on December 2nd, 2010

• Jessica, I think the Quack was referring to criminals who have been convicted of VIOLENT crimes. Not just "serious" crimes as you stated. The Quack made a very good point. When one is exposed to abuse and violence (and hitting/spanking does have a violent quality about it) it desensitizes our natural abilities to have empathy towards others making it much easier to express abuse and violence towards others. I lived next door to a little boy who was spanked often and with conviction by his father. That little boy now cures at his mother and hits her and he is only 13. I have known him since he was 4 and I can honestly say, he will grow to be a violent man and end up in jail.

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  by Username on December 6th, 2010

• Careful Username, Jessica is a serial misunderstander.

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  by quack is whack on December 6th, 2010

• My best friend has never been spanked and she doesn't even like to watch violent movies. She abhors violence and crime. I guess she's really prison bound, huh?

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• That's ridiculous. 99% of people in jail were corporally punished. YOu should do your research before stating ignorant facts. Would you rather spank them & them END up in jail? They'll have a great chance of going to jail if you DO hit them.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• Post the website and/or source where you got these facts and I'll believe you.

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  by Jessica on December 13th, 2010

• I believe Anonymous. A lot of people who live in ghettos are physically punished and we've seen the violent crime that is rampant there.

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  by msminnamouse on December 14th, 2010

• I believe that many of these people were abused, but they were probably punished violently then thrown to the ground, with no comforting, or "I love you"'s. Their parents probably took it too far, to the point where these people felt unloved and maybe that no one gave a crap for them. This was never the case in my home. You can spank your kids and still let them know you love them.

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  by Jessica on December 15th, 2010

• So a child is supposed to believe that someone who causes them physical pain loves them? That's like saying a husband who beats his wife is really doing it out of love.

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  by msminnamouse on December 15th, 2010

• Except that that husband doesn't have custody over his wife, and isn't responsible for making sure that she grows up strong and responsible in the world. And yeah, they are. I did. I got spanked sometimes and I still knew they loved me, so did most of my friends...

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  by Jessica on December 22nd, 2010

• You can spank your kids and still let them know you love them.
  
  Why would i care about the fact that they love when they are hurting my feelings. If they want my respect they have to respect me first. Or i don't trust them. And i can't do anything they tell me if i'm feeling that they are going to hurt me.
  
  By the way
  
  Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will:
  
  • Engage in antisocial behavior, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers. I have done them all.
  
  • Act aggressively toward others. Done that as well.
  
  • Develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidal thoughts. I have been there as well.
  
  • Have a less close relationship with their parents. I don't have close relationships with anyone. I don't trust them. Well ever since I started going to therapy sessions....I have been trying to trust people. But it very very hard though.
  
  • Be physically abused by their parents. No i was not abused personally...I felt like a piece of garbage though. And still do sometimes.

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon December 23rd, 2010

• That is the most retared thing I have ever heard in my life time.

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  by Addie47 on December 23rd, 2010

• So, according to you, I should be an aggresive person, have developed mental health problems, be engaging in antisocial acitivites and dislike my parents? Alright then... I go by what my parents did because it worked on me and my sister. Screw these stupid studies, as a parent, you should know your kid better than any studies can tell you about them. And it sounds like you were hit without any thought and were never shown signs of love. Abuse can be non-physical, and even though they maybe weren't abusing you physically to the limit, never letting you know that they love you and forgive you for your misbehaviour is still abuse too, and could make a child very resentful towards their parents.

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  by Jessica on December 23rd, 2010

• Spanking and beating are two different things, Spanking is an open hand on a padded bottom, Beating is closed fist anywhere on the body not just the bottom. I have been around children who have the soft talking Mommy and they are usually little brats that have no respect for anyone else. A swat on the padded ass would wake them up and show them that when they are wrong they get punished. Also taking away privledges is wonderful but, most parents give in and give it back after getting tired of listening to a squall by the kid. I can remmember one spanking by my father and it never lead me to prison or to beat my children. BUT

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  by vdempsey on February 3rd, 2011

Comments

• no it teaches the children that there are conseqenses for their actions

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  by The Silent Rebel on December 7th, 2010

• So why don't we spank adults to teach them the consequences of their actions? There are many ways of teaching a child the consequences of their actions that do not require bullying them.

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  by Gingerminx on December 7th, 2010

• Yeah, spanking is just peachy. It "disciplines" children who are acting badly. So if another child comes along and acts badly towards the first child, that child should then be able to spank that kid, right? No? You mean they'd get in trouble and probably sent home from school?! I wonder if that would lead to yet another spanking! See where I'm going? How could spanking possibly teach violence?? This is where I roll my eyes.

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• no, that is clearly a violation of the chain of command
  that child lacks authorization to spank the other child
  
  but i suppose you'd prefer to sit down and talk it out instead
  let's see how that goes
  

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  by human_tripod on December 8th, 2010

• Human tripod, my son is almost 24, a responsible young man who respects other people and is independent. I never needed to hit him to achieve that and he certainly never disrespected me or his father.Showing some strange people who go on television to show the world they do not know how to parent is irrelevant.

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  by Gingerminx on December 8th, 2010

• Thank you Gingerminx for making an excellent point. Many of my friends who haven't been spanked have grown up to be wonderful people who contribute positively to society. Many of my friend who have been spanked usually got into fights and got into trouble at school.

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• It always amazes me that people think if you don't hit your child they will grow up to be criminals. It simply isn't true.

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  by Gingerminx on December 8th, 2010

• well as some one who has been spanked a few times i can tell you i have never been in a fight in my life.

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  by human_tripod on December 8th, 2010

• Then why assume that those who aren't spanked do get into fights?

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  by Gingerminx on December 8th, 2010

• observation of 5 different kids who are not spanked, all share a general disregard for authority and a preference for violent, destructive play. (fighting, throwing rocks at public transit buses, vandalism, thief and in one case animal abuse)

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  by human_tripod on December 9th, 2010

• So 5 children mean all children who are not spanked are like that? I can give you five children within my own family circle who were not spanked and are nothign like that.

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  by Gingerminx on December 9th, 2010

Comments

• Nice!

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• Lol! Someone blatantly has never had kids nor possibly ever tried to reason with one under the age of 5!
  Hah!

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  by Scorpyon on December 26th, 2010

Comments

• Well said! We all just need to agree to disagree.

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  by Jessica on November 30th, 2010

• I don't know how the government trusts you with string, let alone another human being.

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  by Piano playin unicorn with a hat â„¢ on November 30th, 2010

• The government stepped in a saved me from my spouse when she hit me. Why shouldn't the government step in to save children from being hit?
  Hitting a spouse or elderly is abusive and so is hitting a child. Same act, different people, but some is abuse and some isn't???

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  by Username on December 6th, 2010

• I think the difference here though is that you are responsible for those kids. They are under your custody and it is your responsibility to do whatever you feel works (within reason) to make sure that they grow up as responsible adults in this world, whereas it is not your responsibility to discipline your spouse, as they are not under your custody.

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  by Jessica on December 10th, 2010

• Jessica, you are missing a vital point. To hit another is to hit another. Hitting is violent no matter who is doing the hitting or who is receiving the hitting. When anyone is being hit by someone other than a parent to a child it is Assualt, a violent criminal act, by most Laws in North America and many other places in the world. Governments absolutely should be stepping in and protecting children. To spank is to hit and to hit a child is to teach a child that hitting is acceptable. Children learn from actions. Be very careful what you teach! There are more effective methods of discipline with children. This information is readily available to any parent that chooses to look for it and learn it. These effective methods of discipline are harder work for parents in the beginning but way less work in the long run as you end up with a well behaved happier child overall. Spanking is, in my opinion, 100% provable to be ineffective and is totally lazy parenting. The link below contains a link to a pdf of a story by Times Magazine earlier this year on studies into spanking. You asked in an earlier comment on here for links so here is one I coincidentally came across earlier today. http://www.sunriseadoption.com/adoptive_parents/news/the_longterm_effects_spanking

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  by Annamika on December 15th, 2010

• To each his own opinion I guess. I know that in Britain they banned spanking and the kids went absolutely nuts to the point where they were uncontrollable, so the government made it legal again. Since then, the problems have been dying down. But again, it all depends on how you were raised. Some were raised that is was completely wrong, or they were abused, and their opinion is likeso, whereas others were raised with it in a safe, happy family. To each his own, the world is never going to agree. And the article doesn't load for me. The headline show's, but just a giant white square below that?

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  by Jessica on December 15th, 2010

• Annamika, Assault and battery is the combination of two violent crimes: assault (the threat of violence) and battery (physical violence). I was taught the difference in EMT school. We had to go over this due to the idiots that try to sue us for taking them to the hospital. You wouldn't believe the claims that can and have been made.
  
  Also, I went to the link you put in. I don't think it works. I was unable to see what you were trying to show.
  
  If you would like to know the long term affects, you can ask me. I can also offer the affects of mild non physical punishment. I see the affects everyday in adults and children.
  
  As well, I can offer my own personal experience because I was beat by my father. Every punishment I received was, in my opinion, overboard.
  
  Jessica, my middle daughter's name is Jessica. Good name! Great name! Kudos, by the way, for hanging in there with the "No's". They are a tough bunch, and pretty good at verbally, well, written attacks against any others that don't agree with them. I think it's funny how some of them even try to "educate" you with their big words. It would be fun to see everyone's opinions after a day in my shoes and work.
  
  I choose not to take "experts" words for anything more often than not these days. I see everything first hand. I've even see the extreme "No" types end result with their children. Those parents that are in the "No" category like most of the ones I've read here, are seen as weak in school officials' eyes. Those parents are ganged up upon by them because their children are "unruly" in class. They scare the parents into submission. They say things like, "Your child is ADD or ADHD". Mind you, just because one has the label of Principal, doesn't mean they have a Doctorate or degree of any kind in child therapy, psychology, psychiatry, or behavior; but the parents are too frightened to know the difference. The officials will threaten those pusillanimous with CPS if they don't send their children to the local mental health hospital or have them put on drugs. Those poor parents are sitting there thinking, "Why would they call CPS, we have never spanked our child?". Well, folks, CPS can be called if you "neglect" to discipline your child too. It's a catch, I tell ya!
  
  It's tough being a parent, deciding how you want to raise your child is very hard. I have transported children from several mental health facilities. Some of them seem just fine. I ask if they've been abused. Some say yes, that they have been spanked. Some say, no, that their parents were told by the school they needed medicine. Some say no, that they just don't want to behave the way they are told, by anyone. Always, these kids, no matter the situation that brought them to the back of my ambulance, they say the same about the facilities. They hate it inside. "Those people in there are mean", and they threaten them with not being allowed to see their parents and family, make them take the "sleepy medicine", or strap them to beds by their wrists and ankles in a room with no sound and no windows, and no contact.
  
  Im posting a lot here, but if you look towards the bottom, I posted on how I raise my kids. Im not claiming to be perfect, but the results of my rearing are very evident in my children and in our relationship. My kids know I love them without a doubt. You, Jessica, keep trucking on. By your spirit alone, I can tell you'll be, if not already, a great parent. You are very curious and passionate by your refusing to be told what to do, or what is right by your peers. I believe, instinctively, every human desires to be "good" by intention. The key is whether they do it or not, and if they live by that which drives us to be ultimately good. That's not to say that those who are equally or more passionate arguing against you are not good, like I said, every human. But as you are being singled out, I naturally want to help the little guy.

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  by DJ on December 18th, 2010

• Wow, I had a lot more than this posted, but I guess there's a limit. Jessica, an old saying: "Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be."

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  by DJ on December 18th, 2010

• Government shouldn't trust you with anything more dangerous than string. Unless you're Hitler. I would take the string away from him.

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  by Piano playin unicorn with a hat â„¢ on December 19th, 2010

• Who are you speaking to, "Piano playin unicorn with a hat"? Im not quite certain I understand what you're saying, or that you understand even what it is that you have posted. As far as "government" is concerned, fat lot of good they are, running an entire country down the drain. I only hope they take the brainwashed, mindless cells with them.
  
  Your statement is full of grammatical and fragmented errors, as well, my 14 year old daughter says to inform you, "With a name like that, and a silly, nonsense statement about string, you're never going to win this fight. That is the most uneducated mess of verbiage I have ever heard. I'm in high school for crying out loud!"
  
  Alas, being as this is the, for now, free world, you are nonetheless entitled to your gobbledygook, ah, I mean opinion. As I am entitled to mine.
  
  My daughter and her friend think that you are, quite possibly, a high school student doing a science project, and have accidentally inhaled too much glue?

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  by DJ on December 19th, 2010

• Piano playin unicorn with a hat,
  
  Seriously? A large group of people is more trustworthy than individuals?
  
  Large groups of people can talk themselves into all manner of stupidity. Just look at mobs. Or Congress. We should not be trusting the government with anything that we would not trust to individuals.

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  by Christine on December 20th, 2010

• DJ, thanks for your support! I have met many idiots on here who talk about equality and "love and support" and the main thing I notice is that they a) fail to notice that facts right in front of them, and b) fail to see any other point of view other than theres. I have many times said on here that I accept your opinion, it is different than mine but you are entitled to it, and the idiots again and again tell me just how wrong I am and how I am a villain and deserve to be locked up, and again and again fail to see my reasoning or discuss it. They repeat the same things over and over which I have heard millions of time: hitting a human being is wrong. If this statement changed my opinion, then I would of been thinking differently a LONG time ago. But then how come my parents' generation, on the whole, was a lot better behaved than mine?Why is there more and more juvenile delinquents now than there ever was before? They do not want to notice or discuss these facts, surprisingly. But I keep my opinion at hand, because I don't like the way these people think, even if I am in the minority. I am also a high school student, by the way!

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  by Jessica on December 22nd, 2010

• Sure, no problem kiddo. I like a good debate as much as anyone, but I draw the line when people do more to each other than just disagree. It's highly uncalled for when someone attacks someone else's character, morals, and persona based on one opinion, and never having ever met the person. It's immature, vile, and sheds the light and truth of their own lack of being perspicacious. Not to mention self absorbed while they spew one sided unproven facts.
  
  I can get heated when I see an injustice. With all the comments you offered in all the debatable answers, not once were you on the attack. I sat back and watched as the stones were thrown at you. If I had been a "No", I would have switched sides out of embarrassment caused by the angry, bitter, and hypocritical responses. That kind of behavior is no better than the corporal punishment they are so against. I am speaking of course, of the members that acted like spoiled, selfish, insufferable know it all children. The others that debated their opinions peaceably on both sides are not included, although, I shouldn't have been the first to stick up for you.
  
  
  Well, I hope you enjoy your Christmas break from school. May it be more exquisite than all of your happiest combined.

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  by DJ on December 22nd, 2010

• I just don't like it when the same person continuously attacks me for my opinion in multiple answers because they didn't like one thing I said about their answer, and the fact that someone disagreed with them. This is just so immature. If you aren't willing to accept others' opinions to the point where you are attacking them for it and calling them stupid for daring speak that opinion, then you need to get off of here and get a serious reality check. Just my little rant. And thank you, I will enjoy it (although I'm doing so much skating over the break (I'm a figure skater and do synchronized skating) that it hasn't been much of a "break" so far ha ha)! You enjoy your Christmas too, cheers!

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  by Jessica on December 23rd, 2010

• Yeah! If I want to starve my children until they behave, then the government should just mind their own damn business!

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  by msminnamouse on November 8th, 2011

• The government should step in when parents are murdering their children, (right now it does not as long as you do it fast enough) or causing serious injury, or inflicting sexual abuse. Ordinary discipline however is not a government concern.

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  by Christine on November 9th, 2011

• Says you.

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  by msminnamouse on November 13th, 2011

Comments

• My point of view has nothing to do with political correctness and everything to do with my experiences has a parent. I learned the hard way that I'm responsible for my children's behaviour not music, not the TV and certainly not games. Parent's don't get sent to prison for disciplining their child, children believe this and threaten their parents with the police, in reality it's not the case here in the UK.

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  by ! on December 6th, 2010

• I agree with your answer Qui. When my son was younger and I went to pick him up from class I watched as a classmate of his hit another child on the arm, his mother flew across the room grabbed him by his arm and as she proceeded to spank him was yelling at him, " how many times have I told you not to hit people?". Such logic.
  Coldhunger, you can discipline a child without hitting it. The biggest way a child learns is by example.

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  by Gingerminx on December 8th, 2010

• Thank you and well said Gingerminx :)

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  by ! on December 8th, 2010

• You're welcome :)

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  by Gingerminx on December 8th, 2010

• Gingermix & Qui Vivra - how dare you bring about the moral decline of our society by instilling less than authoritarian practices within your families? However will people learn to force arbitrary authority upon others if not through physical demonstration? Avast, ye scourges of conservative values!
  
  ;)

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  by quack is whack on December 9th, 2010

• Laughs

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  by Gingerminx on December 9th, 2010

• made me laugh too :)

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  by ! on December 9th, 2010

• The OP is hardly a nutcase. Her argument sounds more than sane and valid to me and all the other people who liked it.

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  by msminnamouse on December 14th, 2010

• Thank you, very appreciated :)

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  by ! on December 14th, 2010

• My parents spanked me when I was little and I harbor absolutely no resentment towards them because of it, and I never got the idea that it was okay for me to hit someone in anger. A little smack on the butt is perfectly fine and if it is done right then a child will suffer no ill effects.
  Also, by the time someone is a teenager, I think that they are smart enough to know why violence is wrong. It's not rocket science.

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  by lynn718 on January 5th, 2011

• Parents who spank do so out of anger because they have lost control of the situation.

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  by Gingerminx on January 5th, 2011

• gingerminx. Once again agree.

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon May 27th, 2011

• :)

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  by Gingerminx on May 27th, 2011

• Wat r you talking about it how we learned disipline but I guess the only people that hit anymore are ethinicitys maybe that's why all of us ethnic groups are in jail man you know wat sucks when your kid doesn't respect you because you keep putting them in a corner for a few minutes but forgive me but my kid ain't gonna scream at restruant so ya when your kids are screaming and saying to f*** off you'll wish you displined them

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  by fancypantslance on July 8th, 2011

• I am guessing English isn't your first language Fancy.
  My child never screamed in restaurants, nor has he ever told me to f*** off. I do not think anyone said anything about not disciplining their child, simply that they didn't need to hit their child to do so.

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  by Gingerminx on July 8th, 2011

• First off it was metaphorical that and every time some one puts words in text they get accused of not knowing English and sense your gonna be serious then I will to one of the most hardest languages to learn is english and I bet you don't even speak perfect English so if your gonna bust my balls Then I'll bust your balls again a metaphor.ps: I ain't arguing like some pussy who starts fights over the Internet.besides don't be a fucking hypocrite and judge us for spanking kids it works for us and hitting your kids doesn't make them bad see it's about this when you spank them then you talk to them and explain why they got hit so ya shove that up your conservative ass bitches goodnight asswipe I'm done man fuck this bullshit I'm gonna do real shit

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  by fancypantslance on July 9th, 2011

• fancypantslance even if you explain to the child why the smack was necessary, fundamentally all you have done is instilled fear and mistrust.

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  by ! on July 9th, 2011

• It was your complete lack of grammar and spelling that lead me to believe that English wasn't your first language. English is probably the hardest language to learn and by mentioning that I thought it wasn't your first language, it was so that if I misinterpreted your comments it may be because of a language difference.
  Your degradation into abusive language and name calling lends me to see exactly how your children will end up after being hit. I can see it did you the world of good.

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  by Gingerminx on July 10th, 2011

• Woah don't judge me by how I parent I may be a foul mouth but hay that's probably because I'm just American actaully I am a native American man I didn't want to say this but go on the street and ask every ethnicity out their if they think spanking is good and they will say yes besides man your just very unpleasant I mean really do your kids like the way you act I mean really.that and beating your kids has been passed down through the years.but you know what I don't care anymore I mean it's all so stupid now I mean why the fuck do i care about what you think I mean my kids are growing up good of course they're gonna get in trouble but what kid doesn't so fuck this question and I must be doing something right because their good so go shove your wives dildo up your ass whatever your fucking name is so report me bitch I do t care I live in America the home of the free unless you colored aghh shit just ruined the whole thing o well later bitches or maybe just the bitch haha

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  by fancypantslance on July 10th, 2011

• Interesting that you just insulted every American and Native American in one sentence. I am female, I don't have a wife. I am unpleasant? You are the one who reduced the conversation to simple vulgarity and name calling.

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  by Gingerminx on July 10th, 2011

• Exactlty. A child is punished for being violent with violence? Makes a whole lot of sense...

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  by msminnamouse on November 8th, 2011

Comments

Comments

• So who decided what is in reason? It will be different for everyone depending on their anger or strength. Poor argument.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• Well, when you tell a child to never bite their friends, or smack an adult, what does that say when you hit them. And when they do so, hit them again?

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  by Addie47 on December 23rd, 2010

Comments

• it teaches them that there are consequenses for their actions

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  by The Silent Rebel on December 7th, 2010

• But by the same token it could also teach them that violence is an appropriate reaction to something they don't like. Maybe instead of punishing for things they do wrong,praise for things they do right - positive reinforcement.
  On a side note, i was spanked only once in my entire childhood apparently, and it made no difference, so it was never repeated. Yet I am a highly moral individual. I am also aware of consequences not because of violence but because of conscience.

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  by neveroddoreven on December 7th, 2010

• Nicely said!

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• cheers Moonlight. I try :)

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  by neveroddoreven on December 17th, 2010

Comments

• It provides the illusion of being effective because in that moment it appears to work but the long term effects of spanking show that spanking is not very effective at all. Studies have shown it results in more aggressive children, which fits with my own observations. My mother spanked me as I was growing up and I was an angry angry person for many years. I did not get into fights except with her, I was not aggressive with others but I was aggressive with my mother and with myself. I am a mother now and I have never spanked or hit my son in any way. He never had tantrums because I talked to him about everything, including the what's and why's. He had no reason to act up because he had knowledge about his world, especially the why's behind cause and effect. I see far too many parents tell a child "that is not safe, don't do that" but they never follow through with any explanation of why it is not safe and what would happen if they did. Providing your child with all the information is the key. My son is ten now and he is a very interested bright happy child who is excited to be helping out and to do as he is asked by his parents. Below is a link to an article about spanking studies. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html

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  by Annamika on December 15th, 2010

• Anna, it would save much more time, and I would actually read it, if you simply typed "Don't forget countercontrol."
  
  And no, I didn't forget countercontrol.

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  by Siyanor on December 15th, 2010

• Anna, I read all of your post and thank you for your thorough information. Sometimes, being concise with words leaves it very easy for people to overlook things. ;)
  
  I'm glad your son is flourishing nicely. To be honest, I was a child who was spanked and it "toughened me up" so I approved of it, but you've turned my view upside down. I *did* in fact, become an aggressive individual even up until my teens.
  
  Hmm... guess we don't have all the answers, even when we think we know better. Funny how much control our parents have over us.

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• Except... our parents are in the environment AND we share some genetic information with them... so... it's kind of completely obvious that they would have a lot of control.
  
  I'm guessing you don't know anything about Skinner, Moonlight?

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  by Siyanor on December 17th, 2010

• @Annamika.
  
  I agree with your comment about spanking. But let me tell you, presenting the studies that have proved the spanking is not effective (which is true) To strong minded people, who find nothing wrong in themselves when it comes to parenting. (But their attitude speaks louder than their words.) Is like talking to a deaf man. And I will not be tired to say this. In my country we have a proverb that says "When you happen to walk by a deaf man's door. You might as well pick it up, and walk away with it. He won't notice a thing."
  
  Well, You might get frowned upon by the neighbors if you actually do that, but the deaf man will stare at them all, and be like "what's wrong? Don't you like my new opendoor." Take care.

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon May 27th, 2011

Comments

• yes it does, it says psychiatrists and psychologists should not interfere in child raising because they don't know what they are talking about.
  
  spanking teaches, in the only way a child truly understands, that what they did was wrong and not to do it again.

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  by human_tripod on December 3rd, 2010

• Hmm. Who probably knows better what they're talking about? Psychiatrists and psychologist who have a degree or you, a random person on the internet? I think I'll go with the professionals anyday over you, especially when you claim that physical abuse teaches anything.

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  by msminnamouse on December 4th, 2010

• you mean the professionals who's best interests lie in F'ing people up even more then they already are and making them co-dependent so they keep coming back session after expensive session?
  eventually unable to function without seeing their therapist first?

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  by human_tripod on December 4th, 2010

• do you have kids? if you did you wokukld understand the need to spank them

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  by The Silent Rebel on December 7th, 2010

• I have kids and have absolutely no need to spank them. I was a kid and there was never a need for me to be spanked. I resent and hate my parents for it. I'll never forgive them or respect them because of it. I never learned anything from it except to get angry and violent, and to mistrust them and resent them. Spanking led to me hitting them back and putting a stop to them spanking me once and for all. I'm sure they enjoyed it very much when I turned the tables on them and gave them a taste of their own medicine. They were misbehaving and I taught them their lesson like they taught me to do. Spanking is nothing more to me than a lazy half assed way to attempt to discipline children because the parent doesn't employ or posess the intelligence to use better techniques. You may enjoy the physical pain and humiliation that accompanies spanking but I'm sure your kids don't share your interest in it. I feel sorry for them that you would lash out at them in violence. Don't tell me spanking isn't violence. You can mince words all you want but the dictionary doesn't lie, spanking is a physical blow.

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• msminnamouse, I want to take your argument even further. I've not had the fortune of engaging in this debate with people who agree with spanking who can also give me the actual reason they spank. They'll go through this laundry list of reasons ranging anywhere from punishment to teaching. Let's call the duck a duck, please. The result is NOT the same as the reason. People KNOW the result is going to be a physically hurt child. And, please, don't say that a child isn't physically hurt when you "spank them" because this just isn't true. Those who spank their children obviously wish to cause something to happen. It's just not what they claim.

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

• I agree with you Meow, however, many people would argue that a "pat on the bottom" doesn't hurt or isn't meant to hurt. Some argument, huh? I wonder if they bother to ask their kid if it hurt the kid or if they're just ignorantly assuming that it didn't hurt. Or, maybe it didn't hurt their hand and that's what they were concerned about in the first place because it obviously can't be the wellbeing of the child that they were worried about if they were willing to hit them.

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  by msminnamouse on December 21st, 2010

• Most parents are not lashing out in violence or anger when they spank a child. They aren't beating the kid (and if they are, then that is, of course, wrong) and a little pat on the butt never did lasting damage to anyone. A spanking, along with a lesson on why what they did was wrong will teach a child what they did wrong, and give them something to think about if they are considering doing it again.

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  by lynn718 on January 5th, 2011

• You're an idiot Lynn, you don't have the intelligence to put towards teaching your children why what they did was wrong and how to change their behavior and you don't have the concern for them to take the time and effort to do it so you resort to half assed parenting and use spanking instead, which requires no thought and hardly any effort and shows that you probably have a Napolean complex. If spanking was fine, then adults would be allowed to go around spanking each other whenever they acted up. Parents are only allowed to spank children because children can't defend themselves. If you think that your children respect you for it then you're a fool. You're confusing fear with respect.

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  by msminnamouse on November 8th, 2011

Comments

• And that's the answer, positive parenting, well said :)

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• Negative punishment paired with positive reinforcement. Taking away a stimulis, like taking away tv privelages for bad behavior and giving them back for good behavior, positive reinforcement. But this isn't as easy as just resorting to a spanking of course, which requires little thought or work.

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  by msminnamouse on November 8th, 2011

Comments

Comments

• *Clap* ROUND OF APLAUSE *Clap*

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  by proudtobedifferent on April 24th, 2008

• The funniest thing is that now at 17 my son could technically beat ME down - but he doesn't cause he knows better lol.

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  by th0mkat on April 24th, 2008

• You confuse respect with fear.

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  by msminnamouse on November 8th, 2011

Comments

• i feel the same

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  by dame on April 24th, 2008

• Thank you, I loved your hippies remark. It totally fit.

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  by Anonymous on April 24th, 2008

• LOL Yeah i was laughing when i thought it.

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  by dame on April 24th, 2008

Comments

• I aplaude you!

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  by proudtobedifferent on April 24th, 2008

• Good answer.

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  by A on April 24th, 2008

• thanks that helped

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  by dame on April 24th, 2008

• In total agreement

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  by B. Krayzee - Dirrty Professor @ Large on April 24th, 2008

• absolutely!

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  by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on May 1st, 2008

• positivley!

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  by proudtobedifferent on July 7th, 2008

Comments

Comments

• Only if the kiss was forced upon the child. A smack is forced upon a child. My kids ask me for a kiss goodnight never been asked for a smack goodnight. I fail to see how they can be compared.

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• "A smack goodnight"
  
  I lol'd

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  by Zoomzoom on December 7th, 2010

• A kiss goodnight is a reassurance to the child, a smack, note the singular, is a reinforcement of discipline when all other tactics have been exhausted.
  Perhaps I should have been clearer in pointing this out.

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  by PocketNut is as sure as a peanut on December 8th, 2010

• Your grammar is terrible and so is your logic. If you can't teach without hitting, you're not that intelligent and don't have the patience to raise a child properly. Ignorance, classlessness being passed down. Basically "trailer trash". That's how I think of people who hit their kids. They are below me. Just a fact. I put the work in to read up on the matter, have an open mind, ACTUALLY teach my kids, it's a lot more work that hitting them. Lazy parenting displayed when parents hit their kids.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• My grammar is perfectly acceptable, perhaps you meant some other convention of English?
  As for your superiority complex, there's not much I can do to assuage that, you've already decided what I think and do is wrong, and resorted to ad hominem attacks on my language skills.
  Trying to change a persons viewpoint by treating them like subhuman monsters is not going to get you anywhere, least of all with me.

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  by PocketNut is as sure as a peanut on December 13th, 2010

• Well, I've heard it all, I do believe. Saying someone is below you because they don't agree with you is lazy arguing.
  
  PocketNut, I so totally disagree with you, but I won't make any claims that my social or class status is above yours.

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

• I find the best way to help a problem is to suggest strategies for coping with it.
  However 'anonymous' is evidently incapable of coping with more than one concept at a time, as far as he/she is concerned, something is either wholly bad or wholly good, no shades of grey.
  I am against wrapping kids up in cotton wool, allowing them to live in a fantasy environment where they are never allowed to take risks, but one which has clearly defined boundaries, so that they learn to cope with pain and adversity throughout their lives, as opposed to leaving them to learn the hard lessons of life later and all at once.
  A smack, in my opinion, is not the same as a beating, just as a kiss is not the same as sexual abuse, that is my point, I am not trying to compare smacking with kissing, which seems to have passed everyone by.

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  by PocketNut is as sure as a peanut on December 21st, 2010

• Well I take that back PocketNut, now you've explained with this comment I clearly see what you meant. I jumped on this and added my own meaning, I see now you meant the reverse to be true, sorry :)
  I've just reread you original answer and yes I see exactly what you meant, I'm so sorry and hope I didn't upset you too much not my intent.

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  by ! on December 21st, 2010

• I too can understand your point, so no need to apologise! I am all in favour of reasoned debate, what annoyed me was the offhand condemnation from 'anonymous', a knee jerk reaction which smacks (no pun intended) of a guilty conscience, as Shakespeare put it "The lady doth protest too loudly".
  I most certainly could have been clearer, and it is easy to misunderstand someones point when you're not actually speaking to them, so on that count I must apologise.

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  by PocketNut is as sure as a peanut on December 21st, 2010

• This is why I added no more when it became personal, no need. No apology needed. You have made excellent points that I completely 100% agree with, Thank you :)

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  by ! on December 21st, 2010

Comments

• whatever. But it's not a must.

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon May 27th, 2011

• I agree with you it depemds on the child, my youngest sisters have never been spanked. Som kids dont need it , I am just stated it should be off the table, its up to the parents to decide to implement it.

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  by Anonymous on May 27th, 2011

Comments

• That may be your case but its talking to the majority of the population.

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  by ElectroEjack on November 30th, 2010

• ''It does not mess with the children's minds at all and despite liberal garbage and liberal lies it does not have long term effects or mess with intelligence''
  
  you must live with some REALLY dumb people in your town.

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  by Guarana on December 1st, 2010

• Thank you. Spanking is Discipline. I agree with you.

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  by ABEL LEWIS on December 3rd, 2010

• Let me ask you this, you love your daughter so much and yet you claim that you'd "grab a belt wearing some a*s out when (they referring to future children) act up"
  
  does that read to you like a loving father?
  
  because it certainly doesn't to me. I was appalled at the words you used to describe how you intend to discipline your little girl.
  
  Tell you what it did say, that you as a boy was beaten with a belt, now was that right? and how does it make you feel? don't want the bravado comment comeback, you think and feel this in your own privacy.
  
  because it should stir up some kind of anger and resentment deep inside, directed at your parent, hold onto those feelings for a min and really feel them. Then imagine them exact same feelings in your daughter because that's how she's going to feel about you the minute that belt touches her skin.

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• I'm not liberal in any way, VERY conservative and I do not spank, never have & my parents or their parents didn't either. I think it's education and good parenting, having patience & wanting the best for your kids.
  
  There are horrible kids today, but do you remember other generations? How about the druggie 60's or 70's? That is not a good argument on your part.
  
  If you use a belt on your children, you're trailer trash. That's it. Uneducated trailer trash. Never once hit my kids & they're the most well behaved kids, on getting high honors in the community service club. 99% of people in jail were corporally punished. It does not make for a decent human being, but shows a weakness in the parent that they cannot control themselves. Not a good example. I'm the strictest parent I know, there is no need for hitting. That's just parental weakness and ignorance.
  
  Spare the rod, spoil the child was written by King Solomon who was a terrible parent himself. Did you read up on this before you wrote it or is it ignorance again. His son Rehobaoth was hated, feared and a killer. That's how he turned out. Much like a Hitler of his time. You should really read more before you spew things that can hurt someone. So sorry for your daughter. Your daughter will be messed up. Hope she doesn't run away, get pregnant at 16 (because she hates your guts( or do drugs to escape this abuse. If you can't realize how this is abuse, I'm not sure you have a conscience. Makes sense.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• @ Anonymous: That is your opinion. Spanking is Discipline to me. You can say what you want. Nothing will change my mind.

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  by ABEL LEWIS on December 17th, 2010

• I don't understand why people only compare those that are IN prison with spankings. There are more people not in jail. Let's use that as an example. Most of the people in jail probably were not punished as kids, and let to roam free, which would explain their flagrant disregard for law of land and authority. Let's discuss the differences between the free people, corporal, and non physical discipline.

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  by DJ on December 19th, 2010

• Do you smoke? There is a higher chance if you hit your kids. We all know you hit your kids. There's a higher chance of that except in a buse form. And if you hit your kids, there's a higher chance of tham having sex early. Sounds rediculise, but think on it.

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  by Addie47 on December 23rd, 2010

• huh?

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  by DJ on December 23rd, 2010

Comments

• That's ridiculous. Are you even a parent? Doesn't sound like it. You must be...hmmm...young.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• as a PARENT of two wonderful offspring 1st is 30 2nd 17 I completely agree

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  by Sheldon_B on December 29th, 2010

Comments

Comments

• Great answer.

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  by Gingerminx on May 1st, 2008

• totally agree. Easier said than done. But yeah. This is the goal.and no, hitting is not needed.

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon May 27th, 2011

Comments

• I totally agree. I can remember times that I behaved badly and an adult would explain to me why what I did was wrong and I would feel guilty and try my best not to do it again. If I did something bad and was spanked, I'd get angry and do it again out of spite. All spanking taught me was anger and distrust.

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• Furthermore, a lot of parents prefer spanking because it's easier than doing real parenting that involves talking to your kid and telling them why what they did was wrong and why they shouldn't do it again and how to behave in the future.

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  by msminnamouse on December 8th, 2010

• MSMinnamouse.
  
  Most people don't even love their kids. I don't even know why they have them and I don't care what they say, they don't either. So trying to teach these people some manners, isn't working. It's like talking to the wall. Can the wall here you? Well, only if the creator of the universe, turns into a human. But How many are the chances?
  So, stop wasting your time. God (if you believe in him) gave it to you to honor him. Not throw it away.
  
  Thanks for reading

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  by Κωνσταντίνος_Πon May 27th, 2011

Comments

Comments

• It's the emotional pain that lasts far longer than the physical pain of a slap :)

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• well yes, that's the point.
  you don't want them to be afraid, you want them to feel bad about what they did.
  .
  fear is a terrible way to discipline.
  good parenting is instilling a conscience, which means getting him to feel bad about doing bad things.

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  by Sympho de Proggy on December 7th, 2010

• Yes but what if there is a proven method of instilling the same awareness of right and wrong without resorting to a smack, would you choose that method or still insist on using a smack?
  
  My point is smacking a child makes that child feel resentment towards a parent, yes in the short term it may serve to shock a child into good behaviour but a child then behaves out of fear that should they misbehave then they are smacked.
  
  Talk to a child with a calm voice, explain why their behaviour is wrong and then give a consequence to their actions, and vice versa, when a child behaves, praise them. What's wrong in telling a child well done, (we still as adults like to be told that's a job well done.)
  Ok it may take longer for the child to grasp the concept of good and bad behaviour but by doing it this way breeds respect towards the parent if consistently disciplined in this manner. More importantly no resentment and no fear is put into the child.
  
  How can this not be a better way to discipline our children. We all love our children, in my book we don't hurt anyone we love. So why is it acceptable in this day and age to still parent in the same way that we were parented, surely if we know a better way that's got to be considered as an alternative option to discipline children by any parent.

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• Hey, Sympho...how about this instead: your child is feeling bad because of what YOU just did--"slapping them"--rather than whatever THEY did--the reason you hit them?

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

Comments

• If you hit a child, he will often stop the behavior you want him to stop. Pain and fear are effective tools for controlling children’s behavior.However, the research is clear: Spanking is harmful to a child’s developing personality, to his developing brain, to the long-term relationship between the parent and child, and to the overall health of society.

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  by Piano playin unicorn with a hat â„¢ on November 30th, 2010

• Kind of explains how I turned out.

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  by Anonymous on December 1st, 2010

• adults who hit children are weak and incapable to raie children.
  they also raise children to be adults who beat their kids.
  today people go to jail for abusing children like this, and their kids are taken away.

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  by Shunyata on December 4th, 2010

• We're talking about a simple buttock slapping, not a brutality on the parent's part.

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  by Anonymous on December 4th, 2010

• I am sorry, any form of physical punishment... no matter what the degree is not needed.

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  by Shunyata on December 5th, 2010

• Out of curiosity, what would be a good punishment?

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  by Anonymous on December 5th, 2010

• punishment in as such is not needed.
  corrective action.
  give me an example please for which you would like me to suggest
  corrective action.

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  by Shunyata on December 5th, 2010

• Okay, um, hang on, lemme think, uhhh...
  Okay, I got one.
  The classic "Stealing from the Cookie Jar" thing.

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  by Anonymous on December 5th, 2010

• a child under age 5 doesn't comprehend what stealing is.
  if it is a child under 5. I need to put up the cookie jar... and
  tell the child "if you ant a cookie as".
  If the cookie is in a lower location,.... and the child take sone, I can tell the child, sitting it down,..." No', pointing at the cookie jar. I can tell the child. "you come to me if you want a cookie, ok? You cannot take one without asking.
  I do the same for the child above 5, however if the child does it again. I will say , " no cookie for today ", and maybe , " no tv " for today. You "must" ask. and " do you understand? You have to ask"/

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  by Shunyata on December 6th, 2010

• Yeah, but what about when the kid absolutely knows this is wrong, and persists anyways?

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  by Anonymous on December 6th, 2010

• editor, then you might have a child who "has a psychological problem, resisting authority" it is called "oppositional defiant disorder." it is serious.
  Many parents do NOT recognize it at first and PUSH AGAINST it, with harder punishment. they might spank, beat, punish severely, all the child then does in there mind ( believe it or not, even a 4.5. year old) saying to themselves " now I will do it for sure".
  I know they CAN become sociopaths if the prob is not recognized at an early age, and the parents do not know what to do, and push against it over and over.
  I no it seems sometimes like just a " stubborn child ". But it is actually maybe the sign of a very serious disorder that can be fixed if discovered early.

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  by Shunyata on December 6th, 2010

• Oh, okay.
  Yeah, my psychology class is working on "The difference between punishment and negative reinforcement". Thanks, I needed help writing a paper on this, actually.

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  by Anonymous on December 6th, 2010

• awesome.
  yes a) there is a lot of research online b) you can ask away. But my research and studies ( since I am now an old hound) is maybe not up to date any more, lololol. I studied and got my degrees during the 60's lolol
  I know behavioral sciences has made many leaps.

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  by Shunyata on December 7th, 2010

• You would have never done that stuff in the first place if your parents weren't so lazy & hit you all the time instead of actually teaching you. My kids were never hit or spanked & NEVER would even think of doing those things. Sorry you had terrible parents. It's not your faults. Hope it all works out for you. Do some research, observe families with good kids/not so good kids before you have your own. Don't carry on the negative legacy.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• anonymous who are you addressing with these judgements?

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  by Shunyata on December 15th, 2010

Comments

• Nicely said! My mother was the "spank your child" type. So about 10 minutes ago I believed they were quite effective. After reading what everyone has to say, I see they're quite right.
  
  I don't bond with my mother and feel she's never understood me. Never. My father, on the other hand, I have an intense love for. And he never approved of my mother hitting me. She never did it when he was around.
  
  So, yeah. Good point. It really does create friction between child/parent.
  
  And why shouldn't it? It's so primitive, even monkeys do it! xD

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• I no eh im happy to just happy i could help out

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  by Feverman on December 17th, 2010

• You have a good mind. :)

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• I try to haha

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  by Feverman on December 17th, 2010

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• "I was spanked as child and I turned out great." This is a matter of opinion. But, yeah, you turned out so great you use such phrases as "their dumb azzes" when referring to 16-year-olds. If their "azzes" are so dumb, spanking them won't do much, huh?
  Tell you what, you spank your child EVERY day (when you have children) so they don't get pregnant at 16. In fact, if you MISS a daily spanking, it might just be YOUR fault if "their dumb azzes" get pregnant.

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

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Comments

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• It's very hard to read your post with all caps. I'm sorry you were hit with a belt. Were you raised in the south? If your family was more educated they wouldn't act that way. Sorry. I hope you learn better. Start reading up on the subject. Knowledge is power, especially if you want to raise great kids.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• As long as you don't leave a mark and do it in love it is okay. Feel free to use belts, coat hangers, paddles, tree branches etc but only as a last resort

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  by One mans opinion on December 13th, 2010

• "As long as you don't leave a mark and do it in love it is okay. Feel free to use belts, coat hangers, paddles, tree branches etc but only as a last resort"
  
  Hah. Funny. Satire, right? ...
  
  ... Right?

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• Anonymous, you can't be THAT uneducated yourself to believe that region is an indication of education, can you?

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

• @ Anonymous Bernie Madoff was highly educated and look what he did.

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  by One mans opinion on December 21st, 2010

• I think the south tends to bare more of the reputation for beating children (trust me, I've witnessed this myself in just casual sprees at gasoline stations, and such). But yeah, usually just where "hicks" reside, etc.
  
  So perhaps Anonymous made that assumption due to the popular expectancy. I think both intellectuals and non can be nuts. Works both ways. :)

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 21st, 2010

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• It not so much reasoning with a child but more showing them with your behaviour that issues can be discussed, in a calm manner and resolved without resorting to anger to get your own way quickly. Surely this prompts good social skills in a child that they will then take into adulthood.

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  by ! on December 7th, 2010

• no, this fosters the sense that the child is your equal and gets to decide what they can and can't do
  which results in kids throwing rocks at buses and vandalizing garages

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  by human_tripod on December 7th, 2010

• The simple "do bad, get punished" system works well in early childhood, when reasoning abilities are still developing, but as they grow older, children need to understand why certain things are wrong. Otherwise, they'll believe that an act is only wrong if they get caught doing it. This means they'll behave well when Mom and Dad are present, but misbehave when they're not being watched. That doesn't make for a good future citizen or employee. Children need to internalize the reasons why certain things are wrong, i.e., in your speeding ticket example, a driver should realize that speeding is bad because it puts other drivers and oneself at risk.
  
  Also, while spanking will make a child sit up and take notice, relying on spanking alone is uncreative. There are other ways to gain a child's compliance. For me, getting yelled at or being told that I was a disappointment hurt a lot more than being spanked. I suspect that I'm not alone in this.

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  by Anonymous on December 7th, 2010

• i don't advocate spanking as the ONLY tool for child raising, just as i wouldn't advocate life in prison without parole for every crime.
  but let me give you an example of what I've seen.
  once at a grocery store i watched a woman refuse to buy her kid (3 or 5 years old at most) a large candy bar he wanted, when he put the candy bar in the cart anyway she removed it and told him "if you do that again you're getting a time out when we get home" to which he replied "BITCH, I HATE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" as loud as he could yell.
  the upset mother told him he was "on punishment" and would go straight to his room and stay there until dinner when they got home. he screamed at her that "i don't care, bitch"
  sounds to me like the rod has been spared far to long

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  by human_tripod on December 8th, 2010

• OK, that makes more sense.

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  by Anonymous on December 8th, 2010

• another example
  

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  by human_tripod on December 8th, 2010

Comments

• I give a shit about my kid. Besides, spanking worked on me when I was a kid, why is it all of a sudden a bad thing?

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  by Hardcore Conservative on November 30th, 2010

• So are you saying that every parent who has ever smacked their kid in life doesn't give a shit about their kid?
  That is also a hugely false claim and incredibly silly thing to say. I love both my parents dearly. Just because some people weren't brought up with this type of discipline doesn't mean it's not right. There's things that my friends were brought up with (like getting their mouths washed out with soap) that I wasn't, doesn't mean its silly and stupid. Just not what I was brought up with, therefore I can't say anything about it.
  Maybe if everyone just agreed to disagree, we wouldn't have to ask this question.

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  by Jessica on November 30th, 2010

• Jessica. Read my response again. I am referring to violent children not abusive or non abusive parents. If parents actually gave a shit we wouldn't have children joining gangs or dropping out of school.
  
  And HC to answer your question its because hitting a child teaches a child that violence solves any issue they may take part with other people.

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  by Sodapop on November 30th, 2010

• My parents spanked me and that's not what I learned, so that blows that argument out of the water.
  
  And, we maybe we wouldn't have kids joining gangs if there was a little more discipline at home.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 1st, 2010

• Sodapop, Jess seems to have a real knack for wholly misunderstanding people's responses and getting off on a "that's just your (stupid) opinion!" soapbox.
  
  And HC, that may be your experience, but that by no means makes your individual experience universal. What we're talking here are generalizations, and of course there are exceptions. There is no universality or one overarching Correct Answer.
  
  But let me tell you about my own experience: every single person I have known who exhibited excessively violent behavior towards others, antisocial personality disorder (if you need some clarification as to what that ACTUALLY means, please look it up in the DSM-IV), or yes, has been part of a gang (what can I say? I grew up in some bad areas), was "disciplined" rather severely at home. Different people have different ideas of what is an acceptable level of violence-oriented physical "discipline" towards children; in my experience, the more severely "disciplined" a kid is, the more likely they are to exhibit violent behavior. Is that universal? Certainly not. But the same goes for your experiences as well.

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  by quack is whack on December 1st, 2010

• I never said it was universal, Quack, and there are exceptions to your experience as well. Neither your experience nor mine are universal. I grew up in a shitty neighborhood and was physically beaten by my mother. As a matter of fact, she liked to use the iron and the frying pan. Didn't join a gang. Didn't become a serial killer. Didn't drown cats in the back yard. Turned out pretty normal as a matter of fact. But, I have friends who weren't smacked by their parents who turned out to be real shitheads. Getting spanked by your parents doesn't guarantee how you'll turn out.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 1st, 2010

• :)
  
  Studies have shown that open communication and not emotional outbursts are better with raising a child. Parents lose their temper too often and snatching up a child and abusing them is not the answer.
  
  Do I believe that a little positive punishment now and then is necessary (sure) but as a central role in a child's upbringing? Hell no.
  
  This is a golden "just my opinion" mind you. But you will find studies done by the APA that affirm that communication is ideal with raising children, not smacking them or any other tactic used to inspire fear and obedience. All that does is "teach the child not to misbehave around the central figure inspiring the fear". They'll pretend to act polite but for many children (case in point the example of a child joining a gang) a bad home life with little to no communication can lead to some very dark roads.
  
  I'd rather talk with my child and take away something they treasured, and reward them when they act polite while communicating exactly why each are being dealt at any certain time. It's better than snatching up a belt and losing your temper.

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  by Sodapop on December 1st, 2010

• Actually children who go through abuse as a child, are far more likely to grow up with some sort of psychological trauma. Be it a poor sense of worth, a disconnection with society among other things.
  
  Overall, a child who undergoes abuse will more likely than not grow up with some type of disfunction. I was abused as a child, I grew up and was thrown out to live on my own. I have a hard time with trust given that history. As you would expect.
  
  That in of itself is an example of how abuse, or "corrective punishment" affected my persona. There are other examples but I don't care to mention them. My life isn't an open book.

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  by Sodapop on December 1st, 2010

• Well, I disagree with you sodapop. People need to have a little fear of those who have authority. Otherwise there would be no consequences of disobedience.
  Spanking is not abuse.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 1st, 2010

• I feel like the major thing on here that people associate with spanking is objects, and that all parents who spank probably use belts and other things on their kids. I don't think that's the case. I don't really know anyone (of all the friends I know who were spanked at a yougn age) who got hit with any type of object as punishment by their parents. I never was. It was only with hands, and only over clothes for less than a minute. I think (my opinion)that using objects and spanking over the bare is taking it too far. And after all of the people I have seen that were spanked that turned out fine, and the ones that didn't, and the people who weren't spanked, and turned out fine, and those who didn't, I just don't trust these "studies". I figure that as a parent, you know your kid better than any studies can tell you about them.

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• "...as a parent, you know your kid better than any studies can tell you about them."
  Excellent point, Jessica.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 1st, 2010

• Thank you!

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• I don't believe that curbing behavior should be coupled with any sort of pain. A child isn't a dog, it can reason just like any other human being. Speaking and reasoning with your child is by far the best thing to do in any matter. It builds a relationship with the child that doesn't end with resentment at some stage of development. I certainly had it for my father and still do.
  
  I don't believe that fear is a healthy avenue to curbing behavior. I believe that trust, respect and consensus is fair. In any matter. A child is still a human being and hitting in any form just seems grossly irresponsible. Especially considering the fact that anger is directed at the child at the time of punishment. That destroys the message that is intended altogether.
  
  All in all, I understand your point but i disagree with it.

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  by Sodapop on December 12th, 2010

• You can't speak and reason with a 5 year old. They can't reason like any other human being as they don't yet possess those skills. And if you still resent your father from when he spanked you when you were 5, there are other issues at work there.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 13th, 2010

• Again, I feel there is no line here between acceptable discipline asnd abuse. From the way you speak Sodapop, it sounds like you might of been abused when you were a child. That is not acceptable, and I can see how someone who was abused as a child would be opposed to all forms of corporal punishment, but I do think that there is limits parents can and need to take where it can be acceptable. I don't think all spanking is abuse because when precautions are taken and it is controlled, it can be acceptable. There are many parents out there who cannot use this control, and this is were abuse starts.

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  by Jessica on December 13th, 2010

• Jessica, I agree as long as we all realize that just because someone spanks their kid, it doesn't mean it's abuse, nor will it necessarily lead to it. I don't think it's anyone decisions but the parents on whether or not spanking is effective for their kids. All I know is it worked on mine.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 14th, 2010

• My father never abused me, but physical punishment certainly didn't help us buddy up in the long run.
  
  But the APA issued an article in May of this year of an interview with Dr. Kazdin about Parenting.. http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/05/corporal-punishment.aspx
  
  His analysis coincides with mine being that physical punishment should be the last thing a parent should do when disciplining a child, just because of the various factors at play. Extensive physical harm actually leads to poor academic performance, social anxiety and aggressive behavior in the child. It's overall pretty bad, and whether or not something worked for you or your parents doesn't take away from the fact that for the majority of individuals it isn't a solution. He used smoking as an example. Just because someone lives to be 100 and smokes every day, it doesn't take away from the fact that smoking can and does kill the vast majority of users.
  
  I just can't think of it from any angle without coming to the same conclusion. Yes, I may have been abused as a child, but my closest relatives weren't responsible for that. If anything it just gave me a first hand experience as to just how bad it can be in any dose. The fear of the lash can be more painful than the bite of it. It can't be any different for a child. When you raise a child to fear punishment there has to be repercussions.
  
  More the reason why I've sworn off children entirely. I'd never want to lose my temper and do something i would regret.

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  by Sodapop on December 14th, 2010

• Fear of punishment is a bad thing? How's that? What keeps people from robbing banks? From robbing old lady's pension checks? Fear of punishment. They have to know there are reperussions for their actions.
  "Extensive physical harm" is not spanking. Slapping your 10 year old when they call you an asshole is not extensive physical harm.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 14th, 2010

• For children yes it is. Fear is crippling and they're only children. They have the ability to be spoken to and reasoned with, they are human. Besides, research shows that actually sitting down with a child and trying to get them to understand the wrong behind their actions is a lot more successful than slapping them. There's no communication behind the slap, just an aggressive reaction. To me, that's abuse right there. It's anger channeled at the child. More the reason parents should not hit their children. More often than not they can't even do so with a level head. They could easily miscalculate their own strength and bruise the child, especially if they're slapping them for comments they make, right or wrong.
  
  And it can be if it isn't a once in a month correction, or so Dr. Kazdin stated in the article.

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  by Sodapop on December 15th, 2010

• Fear isn't crippling. You're making no distinction between discipling a child and beating them senseless.
  Try reasoning with a 5 year old in the middle of the grocery store who wants his goddamn candy bar right goddamn now. Doesn't work. And there is communicaiton behind a slap. It communicates that whatever they did is not acceptable.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 15th, 2010

• Again, I can't really speak here because there was always communication before a spanking in my house. We always knew why we were getting it, and there was always I love you's afterwards. I don't think I was ever hit out of anger, and it wasn't even once a month. But yes, a healthy dose of fear is good, even in your parents. I didn't fear them, but I sure feared disobeying them. But the difference between this is the fear of disobeying them and the fear of them lashing out on you, for little reason.

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  by Jessica on December 15th, 2010

• I'm in total agreement, Jessica. There has to be fear of consequences, otherwise people would do whatever the hell they pleased.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 16th, 2010

• "People need to have a little fear of those who have authority." Hey, HC, what do YOU do when you are confronted or come in contact with something or someone you fear? Fear IS NOT the same as respect. Besides, is it really that you want your children to fear you or you want to control them, so you want them to fear you? Isn't this exactly how many "authority" figures control people today?
  
  I just had a scary thought; let's all teach our children to fear and be controlled by authority. When they become adults, out there in the cruel world and see an "authority" figure doing wrong, they will do EXACTLY what you have told them to do.

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

• Wholeheartedly agreed Meow. Finding the words to put it in perspective is the challenge but that about sums it up.
  
  If you condition a child to accept fear as the basis for all their moral actions you are essentially sheltering everything they will come in contact with that will use the same tactic to control them. Essentially, you are implying that good and bad should be enforced principles. When the only reason someone does one thing over the other is because of a fear of some repercussion, what is that really saying about the weakness in personal development of the individual? Communication is number 1 in child rearing because it actually builds respect which is more important than fear. I can respect an individual and do what they ask, without a fear of them. In fact, I do more of what they ask because I respect them, not because I fear them. I avoid people I am afraid of.

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  by Sodapop on December 20th, 2010

• When your 5 year old is trying to decide whether or not he's going to play with your $10,000 vase, he doesn't NOT do it out of respect for your authority. He does not do it out of fear of being punished.
  
  You two are trying to make this into something it's not. I'm not saying that your child has to live in constant fear of getting their ass kicked by dear old Dad. But they always need that little bit of fear of punishment, which builds the respect for authority. The same thing happens in law enforcement. Repect the police, and fear the consequences of illegal behavior.
  
  Being all touchy feely with your kids is okay, as long as there is a seperation. With my child, she has a healthy respect for my authority, which is built up over time and some of that is fear of punishment. It's the same with all aspects of society. Don't mess around on the job or you get fired. Break the law, go to jail. When you're a parent, you're not your kids' friends. You're not buddies. It's much more than that. Your child is going to grow up within the boundries that YOU set. And there has to be consequences for crossing those boundries.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 21st, 2010

• For most kids, I think when they are young it is hard to build that standard respect when they are still testing the waters, seeing how far they can push the limits. They haven't fully understood or learnt what respecting someone or something is, and they usually don't for a few years, until they get older. And yes, if they don't understand why running into a busy road is dangerous, I'm not going to waste my time continuously pulling them out and explaining why its danegrous over and over, because a lot of the time they just don't get it. If the only reason they won't run out into the road is because they know they will be spanked, then that will work for then, because eventually they WILL learn why it is dangerous, but some four year olds just don't understand or listen. And the goal here is to avoid them getting themselves killed, even if the only way to prevent that is the threat of a spanking. Like I said, one day they will learn, you just have to prevent it until they do.

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  by Jessica on December 22nd, 2010

• In small doses punishment is not a bad thing. But it shouldn't be the first reaction a parent has. The street example is a good example. Of course you'll want to spank the child but you have to couple that with reason as well. If you just spank a child without the talk before or after it just teaches the child to avoid that action around you.
  
  Cussing is a good example. Washing a childs mouth out with soap or using hot sauce as a deterrent for foul language may make the child act like you expect them to, when they are around you, but if they're like any other child they're still going to cuss around their friends and so forth. For some children it builds a resentment that may cause them to intentionally act that way just to spite you. For my brother every time he was spanked or punished he would go into a rampage breaking everything he could get his hands on, smashing his head on the wall and yelling out all sorts of obscenities. Raising him put my parents on a thin wire. They didn't want to be too harsh on him because they didn't want him to grow up with so many anger issues, but they didn't also want to be too lenient because they knew he would take advantage of the situation. In the end they've settled for a touch and go policy. First they talk to him, and when parental diplomacy fails to alleviate his problematic behavior they resort to punishment. It's always a last resort.
  
  I guess what I'm trying to say is I can understand some punishment, so long as it is a last resort. I'm no parent so all I have to go on is case studies and the weight of one argument against the other, but I know that if I ever were one that is a policy I would adopt.

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  by Sodapop on December 23rd, 2010

• Speaking from experience, Soda, once you have a child of your own, alot of those case studies go right out the window. Every child is different and every parent is different.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 23rd, 2010

• OK, there are several misunderstandings going on here, but the biggest one I see right now is that those who are for spanking tend to assume that those of us who are opposed to hitting a child are also against punishing a child. That is just not so. Yes, children need to be punished, I've not seen anyone dispute that. However, we are saying that it doesn't have to be spanking.
  
  HC, you are right, those case studies do go right out the window, but that goes for those who are pro-spanking as well.

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  by Meow on December 24th, 2010

• Again, everyone is different. What works for one doesn't work for another.

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  by Hardcore Conservative on December 27th, 2010

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• Can I give you an AMEN?

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  by Anonymous on April 24th, 2008

• AMEN! LOL

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  by ImagineMEandYOU on April 25th, 2008

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• A slap to a child is not sensible! You teach a child that they can't get everything they want by not giving them everything they want. There is no need to hit to teach that lesson. If the child screams about not getting what they want then they scream, so what! You still do not need to hit them. You simply remove them from that environment by walking away, if they can walk they will follow you, if they can't walk yet then it should be pretty straight forward to take them outside where outside voices belong. They don't settle after that, you go home again. You may not get your shopping done or whatever you were doing but your child is going to think twice before pulling that stunt again. Really people, it is not that hard to not hit a child!

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  by Annamika on December 15th, 2010

• THAT's it Annamika! I still don't understand what's so hard about NOT hitting a child.

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  by Meow on December 20th, 2010

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• You can't show them in other ways? Not very creative are you? :( Too bad for your kids.

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  by Anonymous on December 13th, 2010

• Look at the kids now that are not disciplined in traditional ways. Extended psychological punishment can have detrimental effects when they grow older. My kids are fine thank you. They do not steal from others, they are quiet when they feel it might disturb others and they are happily married.

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  by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on December 13th, 2010

• "Look at the kids now that are not disciplined in traditional ways."
  
  What kids, precisely? I'd like to see your sources. Most kids DO have psychological problems... and as you can see... the majority have agreed that "yes" it's perfectly fine to smack your child "feel free to use hangers, wires, etc so long as you do it with love" he says! -.-

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

• You haven't read my answer - spanking in a symbolic way. Not corporal punishment. A tap on the fanny, NOT the Spanish inquisition. We obeyed our parents in my generation because we respected them. Suing their parents for child abuse, shoplifting as a form of entertainment, well you can have that if you want. Like I said, my child rearing days are over. They are happily married and they have sweet kids.

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  by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on December 17th, 2010

• Actually, I read your post entirely. I merely asked for more source regarding your information. As you can see, we've all managed to evolve from the primitive way of evolving. Especially the whole "might over right" nonsense that was our primitive instinct.
  
  Now, I would never compare a mere spanking to, say, the Spanish inquisition. As that would be a horrid exaggeration. So rest assured, I never claimed that.
  
  And I would never accuse you of being a bad parent, when I hardly even know you.
  
  Just that I wanted source behind your information. Yes, I've seen the current children of today and how dysfunctional they are. But I see no source saying "Well, my momma neva spanked meh, so i be sum BAD BITCH!"
  
  Usually, it tends to be the other way around. Due to lack of communication, the child becomes incoherently able to express their feelings, and aggressively frustrated because of it.

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

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• Wow. :(

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  by Mystery_Wytch on December 17th, 2010

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• "Anyone who thinks spanking is wrong, either doesn't have kids, or let their kids determine what is best and they become the kind of people everyone hates on X-box live."
  
  Or they were beaten black and blue as a child and want better for other children in the future.
  
  "Don't understand."
  
  Beat children because they don't understand? Beat them because their parent can't explain things well?
  
  "Or just don't respect punishment"
  
  Then they probably won't respect "spanking" either.
  
  "but some parents give in when the kid whines"
  
  Like spanking, this indicates a lack of self-control on the part of the parent. Are you saying children should be beaten because their parents have no self control?
  
  "When the child doesn't listen, he gets spanked, they understand that."
  
  Yes. They understand that when they do something their parents don't like, their parents will inflict pain on them. Is the message that if your child does something wrong you will hurt and humiliate them the one you want to send?

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  by underpantsgnome on November 30th, 2010

• Reactionary statement. Lazy parenting.

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  by quack is whack on November 30th, 2010

• People need to stop stating their opinions as a fact. I can see you agree with spanking, but this doesn't mean that every parent who does not spank is a lazy parent, just as every parent who does use spanking as a method of discipline is not a child-beater and terrible parent. Everyone has different opinions and views on things, which is what we all need to learn. We are human, and therefore we will all do different things.

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  by Jessica on November 30th, 2010

• My comment was directed at Maul.

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  by quack is whack on November 30th, 2010

• I realize that..

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• Hard to be sure, given that you assumed I "agree with spanking."

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  by quack is whack on December 1st, 2010

• You do realize that my comment was also directed at Maul?

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  by Jessica on December 1st, 2010

• Hard to tell Jess, given that your statement included no direct reference to anything Maul said, and yet did so for me.

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  by quack is whack on December 2nd, 2010

• I thought it was obvious who I was talking to when I said that the person was clearly in favour of spanking, which Maul is and you aren't. I thought that would make it clear who I was talking to. Sorry for your confusion.

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  by Jessica on December 2nd, 2010

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• thanks fhuggins

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  by dame on April 25th, 2008

• You raised an excellent point...the abuse can take place without lifting a finger. There is a lot of mental abuse that goes on behind closed doors and all the scares are on the inside with no visible marks on the outside.
  
  Thanks for your contribution.

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  by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on May 1st, 2008