My ex said he needed space and time to figure out what was right for him. He now says he made a terrible mistake, that he's sorry, and that he wants a second chance. This all happened in about 2 weeks. What should I do?
by 
Jillbeckwith
ANSWERS: 25
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Well, you know him better than anyone else. you know if he is telling the truth. you know if he is sincere. what did he do in those two weeks? an affair, a fling? ask the questions and listen to his answers. All in all, if your gut feeling tells you that you believe what he is telling you, then give him a two week trial period. you will know in two weeks. your heart will guide you through it.
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agreed. You can get all of the advice in the world, but remember it is just advice. Honestly, i am in the same thing right now only with my gf. She broke up with me and I tried to move on and now she wants me back. If you go back, take it slow. Remember that you broke up for certain reasons in the first place and you don't want to make those same mistakes again. You have to ask yourself if you really want to be back as well. After all, he didnt have enough faith in you to let you stand by his side and help him. Second chances are a great thing, but look deep down and ask yourself if what he did to you deserves a second chance. If it does, then enjoy everything for what it's worth and take it slow. It could be something amazing, but it could be a distraction for someone better down the road
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Nobody can tell you what to do in a case like this. How do you feel about him? Do you know how he truly feels about you now? Do you love him still? You mentioned "second chance." Does that mean you asked him to leave, due to some problem or fight? If so, has the problem been resolved, or do you have hopes that it will be? If it is unresolved, you need to work on it I think before jumping back into things. You might benefit from talking with him around the reasons of why he left and said he "needed space." If he cannot or will not discuss that with you, I would suggest maybe talking with your pastor or another trainied relationship-marriage counselor, so if you and your husband/boyfriend? decide to get back together, you know what caused the problems for sure and you will have expressed your feelings on it with a trained counselor who might give you some good suggestions, support and help. Good luck to you!
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my ex did the same thing to me. i think it really all depends on the reason he needed the space and whether he resolved whatever he needed to. also, do you feel he is stable now.. can you go forward together, with this matter resolved and make the relationship stronger the 2nd time around or will the same problems come back. what i realized is i also have a say in things--and what i had to figure out was whether it was worth it for me to re-embark with him. take time to reflect. and take things slow this time. you dont want to get hurt or make yourself vulnerable to him too quickly
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The chick he wanted must have not wanted him,because he came begging back to you on his hands and knees.I believe if you really love him you shoud give him another chance.
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Maybe he got overwhelmed,and needed a little space,and that gave him time,to catch his breathe - You know sometime's that's a good thing ! I sure hope everything turn's out -
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Try reading the book Men are From Mars - it explains the male intimacy cycle - at times, men need to pull away and find themselves because all the constant giving makes them feel out of touch and out of control. If that was the case, then it's normal, and can (if you let it) be overcome. Use your gut. It'll tell you the truth, even if you don't want to hear it.
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Used to happen to me when I was younger. I would make them feel so good about themselves, that they would get all confident, think they were too good for me, and go after someone else-- or back to an ex. Within a week or 2, they'd come crawling back, begging us to get back together, realizing it was ME that was the thing they needed. TOO LATE. As for you? You will follow your heart, no matter what we say in here. PLEASE, nowadays, PLEASE, make him get tested, as 1/3- 1/2 of sexually active Americans reportedly have Herpes, Genital Warts, HPV, etc. And You KNOW men rarely have symptoms... I doubt this will pay him back for the affair he had and the hurt he caused, but it may protect you....
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if you want to get back with him get back with him. there is nothing wrong with what he did or you going back to him. just don't do it more than once.
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two weeks is like years in relationship time. if you love him get back with him, but if you feel that you shouldn't tell him that you cant be with him.
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gurl don't do it wat i went threw the same thing and nothing change all the stuff he said 2 me about making it work and it will b better don't fall 4 it i'm still n this relationship nd i'm tired all ready
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Talk to him but this time your in control. Just think how he make you feel 2 weeks ego and how much it hurts. Ask hard questions like what do you want out of this, do you want kids, a house, get married its the best time to do it. Your still mad and this can go both ways, dont be afraid of saying you know what forget it. Tell him to stop being a flake and if it happens again then thats it. Your not a yo yo but a human being.
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If you called him your ex, I think you answered your own question.
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This question is so old, can't be topical at this point.
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This is a typical case of he left to be with someone else, probably had a small fling and realized the grass is not greener on the other side. I don't know what to tell you to do, but I know If it were my husband I'd tell him to get lost. I personally don't want someone who does things like this! You need to search your own heart and figure out what is best for you. Nobody else can make your mind up for you. It's a hard choice to make, but you have got to think this through and really come to terms with what he has done, and if you can forgive him and get past it, and if you can trust him to not do it again. I wish you the best. I hope you figure out what is best for you and realize no matter what has happened, it wasn't your fault. This is HIS mistake and you shouldn't feel guilty or any part to blame for it! God Bless and Good Luck!
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EX Boyfriend? EX Husband? If it is a marraige you are talking about I would say any marraige is worth a second chance. If it can be saved save it.
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if you love him, give him a second chance. what's the worse that could happen? either it works out or it doesn't but you have to try otherwise you will spend ur life wondering ... what if? ps. during those two weeks did you completely cut off contact? My boyfriend just broke up with me and i am MISERABLE and i want him back so i'm trying to keep my distance but it is so tough not to call or text. what did you do that made him want to come back??
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ask him "why? didnt it work out with your girlfriend?"
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give him the chance, and if it still doesnt work out at least you both can say that you gave it your best shot.
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I agree with what someone else posted. Most likely, your ex had another girl on the side. She probably dumped him, and now he's crawling back to you. You should read "The Script." Usually when someone says, "I need space," or "I need time to sort things out," that's a sign that they have someone else. Of course, this is not absolute, but often times the case. I say move forward.
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You want the answer? Okay but you'll have to do this to get it..Go in your bathroom. Turn on the light and shut the door. Stand in front of the mirror and if don't have one please find one. Once your in front of the mirror I want you to look your self in the eyes and remember out loud the good and bad times..While looking in the miior. Not just one moment but many of them both good and bad. Then look in the mirror and ask yourself( out loud)..Can I realy take him back? Is this whats good and healthy for me? Do I deserve more? Am I just settling for whats comfortable? Did he really change or am I just hoping he did? Do I really believe it can work? I want you to do this because the answer your looking for is in you and looking in the miiror it will be even harder to lie even to yourself. And if you deciede it's what you want and need I wish you all the luck. Love and Hugs Tigs
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you need to tell your ex that he needs to make up his mind. Hes either into her or hes not.
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If you really want to take him back, tell him, "Lets start over", and tell him you want to take it slow this time. Take it very slow. Make him understand what commitment is about and not what sex is about. Have him take an HIV test in about 1 month. Wait for the results before you have sex with him. Protect yourself when you do. If he insist on sex....tell him that you need to wait for his results before you can even think about having a relationship with him; this is a way to check his sincereness. This will also make him understand the seriousness of his transgression.
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He needed space and time to go with his other girl. He remembered how good you were with him and what a slut that other girl was so he came back to you knowing you will take him back
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Key word: EX Don't be such a push over. Stand up for yourself. You're letting him walk all over you. If he wants to come back, you just let him? You're his rag doll.
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