I guess your kids will end up with PTSD and possibly hating you when they grow up. If they don't die. But apparently, that doesn't really matter to you...

I'm not sure what your question is, however I encourage you to reconsider your decision, but if you plan on staying in an abusive relationship, please try and get regular counseling for you and the children and have an escape plan for when it's needed, because it most often is needed. Good luck.

I don't know what the history is behind your marriage that's making you stay with him, but I can tell you your future. It isn't pretty. It winds up with somebody dead. Either you, your 3 year old, your 13 month old, or your husband. Or all of the above. I could be wrong. LEAVE HIM! If you don't care about *YOUR* life, that's fine. But at least leave for the sake of *YOUR KIDS LIVES!*(and yes I am shouting!) They are innocent bystanders, and deserve better than the life you're about to put them through.

Sounds like he needs anger management therapy, and it might be wise to stay away from him until he does. You can probably recommend it through a judge. Abuse should not be tolerated, but I admire your dedication to the relationship. If his behavior continues or if he is unwilling to receive counseling and make drastic improvement, you really should consider a more complete separation, for the sake of your kids, if not yourself.

I don't know you, but I know the story! I just left one myself, even though he broke up with me four years ago. I was threatened; insulted; attacked/ hit; and he refused to let me work/ made me go on welfare and took my bank card on money day. He told me that he wasn't going to let me ruin his life like his third ex-wife who packed up the kid and left. I was told if I left, or if he ever caught me with anyone else I would die (and so would my new boyfriend). I was threatened by his friends and mother when I have him arrested for hurting me. The police told me if I didn't get him out of my life my kids could be taken into protective care. Your (man) is not worth losing your kids (or your life) for! Please; leave, if not for you; do it for the kids. They are learning everything they see!!!!! Do you want (your daughter? to become abused by her man; or son? to be abusive to his woman)????????????????? Do you want your childern to have to visit you at the grave yard and dad in prison?? Yes; I'm trying to scare you! Please leave. You are in my prayers; God Bless and good luck!!!!!!!

There's not a lot I can add to the above - very sensible - answers. Except to say that you are colluding in abusing your children. What makes you think that 'the history behind your marriage' is more powerful than your children's present and future? Let me just say that the guilt you will feel one day if you don't leave him now will make life even more unbearable for you. The only hope each generation has is that we do a bit better than the last one. What are you doing to improve the lives of your children? And when they are permanently psychologically damaged (if not already!)what of their future children? Please leave this man. NOW.

i know its hard for someone to leave someone else who is true in love with... but i don't this its a good decision, your husband is abusive toward your children you have to stop this find some help... let him cotrol his temper... if he drinks alot.. let him stop drinking.. for your childrens sake i don't think you love living like this and stay with him.. you have to do something if you really love your children and want them to live happy and feel secure with their parents... i don't think you like the idea of letting your children learn from their father and treat their women the way he treats you...

why would you stay with this man if he is hurting your children? He is physically abusing a 3 year old child and a 13 month old child and you are allowing this - your childrens lives could be at risk and yet you will stay with him and keep them in this dangerous environment. Don't you care what this will do to your children? There is a good chance that as a result of this they will grow up to be abusers too. You need to break this cycle for their sakes.

I realy appreciate everyone's advise, HE LOVE HIS KIDS AND GIVE THEM ALL THEY WANT HE IS JUST A DISCIPLINARIAN WHICH I dont like, he dose'nt drink , smoke or club above all never cheat on me but his temper is a little over the top but when he is over it, he is the best man anyone will like to be with. The history behind my marraige is that he love me enough to bring me to the united state few years ago, my legal status depend on my marraige to him, if I decide to leave them I will be out of status, that means I will be here ilegally, then I will lose my job, how do I take care then of my kids without a job all by myself. So far he has not physically abuse my kids but me, he put them on timeout according to their age, he said he love them and dont want them to be out of control. Am hoping to leave someday or if he dare lay his hand on me again.

anxiety control/medication.

You're lying. No offense. Oh, and you sound like you're a grouch around him. You sound like you're the cause of the problem. Please grow up. You know, it's ironic how you put the bad part in your question, but you put the better part in an answer. What does that tell me? You just want our sympathy. Stop it. I don't believe you anymore. That was a dirty trick, and that also shows me that it is very possible that you are the one who is emotionally abusing your husband. I wouldn't be surprised if you withhold sex from him until he agrees with you. I wouldn't be surprised if you refuse to sleep in the same bed as him until he agrees with you, and I'm being nice when I say that. Please stop using exaggeration in order to "win" an argument. If you learn this lesson, perhaps you can enjoy a healthier marriage. For people who don't understand, please read this: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2742688 Originally posted by her: "I really appreciate everyone's advice. HE LOVE HIS KIDS AND GIVE THEM ALL THEY WANT. HE IS JUST A DISCIPLINARIAN, WHICH I don't like. He doesn't drink, smoke or club. Above all, he never cheats on me, but his temper is a little over the top, but when he is over it, he is the best man anyone will like to be with. The history behind my marriage is that he love me enough to bring me to the united state few years ago, my legal status depend on my marriage to him, if I decide to leave them I will be out of status, that means I will be here illegally, then I will lose my job, how do I take care then of my kids without a job all by myself. So far, he has not physically abuse my kids, but me. He put them on timeout according to their age, he said he love them and don't want them to be out of control. Am hoping to leave someday or if he dare lay his hand on me again."

Your question clearly states he abuses your children and you intend to stay with him. Your answer here-in contradicts that by saying he doesn't abuse your children and you hope to leave him. I think you're rather confused and need to get some help to understand what actually is happening in your life and in the lives of your children. ~ They deserve to be raised in a happy safe environment by parents who love and care for them and put their safety above all else. If you are unable to do that for them, give them up to someone who is able to.

What exactly do you think staying with an abusive man will do to benefit your children? Whose interests are you putting first? That is a very bad, unhealthy and frightening environment for adults..you are subjecting your children to this? Why? :(

bad decision to stay in that kind of relationship.its not good for you or your kids..all it will do will show you kids its ok to be abusive when they get older cuz daddy did..leave and better yourself for you and your kids..who knows..it might change his ways or then again it might not..as long as you stay and take it he wont change..its up to you...

Thanks for judging me, I said I plan to stay with him, I never said I wil stay with, i guess there are defference in those two statement, also after reading some of the comment I decided to leave sooner than I thought. So what have I lied about

As the child of abusive parents - If you stay with this abusive man, you are JUST as much at fault as he is. Possibly more so, as you KNOW it is going on. That is all I will say.

You are teaching your kids that it's ok to "put up" with abuse in order to give the appearance of a happy family. You need to teach them that abuse in any form is unacceptable and something that needs to be left behind. Loving your kids does not redeem him for physically and emotionally abusing you.

my ex was severely abusive ( all kinds) worst was the physical abuse .....for several years and throughout my pregnancy with my child. I was mentally abused and could see no wrong doing on his part, I had the mindset that "he`ll change" well they dont and it carries on and on and it only gets worse. My son is now 9 years old and witnessed my abuse until he was 2years old....He has anger management issues (like his father) and goes into rages and hurts ppl all the time. he is diagnosed ADHD and has anxiety and mood issues!!! He has a hard time finding/keeping friends and this affects him every day. Even with the best of therapies, he contiues to struggle. This is the result of what he has seen at such a young age ... From one mother to another ....please dont put your children though this,,,,,,,,,,they depend on you to protect them and you must do this. Children need to know that this is not okay and that you wil help protect them. They need to be in a home filled with love and affection.

That is how I grew up. My mom sitting there while my step father beat me. I have grown up now, but still will NEVER forgive either one of them. I do see them for the sake of my children (they are wonderful grandparents now) I hold my mom more responsible for the things that happened than my step father. She did not protect me when I needed her most, and for that I will never forgive her.

Stuff the history of you marriage, think of the future for yourself and your children. Get out or get him out. If he gets violent get the police involved.

Go to the courts and file for a restraing order

What possible excuse could you use to stay with someone that is a danger to not just you but to your children? Think about what you are teaching them and what they are absorbing while he abuses you all. You are adding to the abuse by staying. How will you feel if he hurts or kills one of them just because you stayed with him? Love your children enough to let him go and save them.

You have a responsibility to protect the children from abuse - full stop.

I love my children dearly but sometimes I question the wisdom of someone in your situation insisting on remaining in the relationship. I think at times it could do far more harm than good.

Okie dokie. Thanks ladies.

So you married your husband so you could stay in this country a little fyi just cuz u marry american it doesnt make you a citizen, and if you have a job then go apply for your citizenship you don't need him to become a citizen, if he loved you like he said he does then he would not be puttin his hands on you.

If he loves your kids then why does he abuse them? For the sake of your children you need to do something about this - and fast! Have you spoken to him about it at all? Remember - communication is the key!

No child should have to witness their mother being abused physically and emotionally, it will affect your children as they grow up and your children's own self-esteem is battered by being shouted at. Separation may be the best thing, you can do this, you owe it to yourself and your children..Break the cycle!!!

I'd call the 5-0 on the creep, personally.

Don't use your children as an excuse to stay with this jerk. If he loved you or the kids he wouldn't be beating the hell out you guys. Wake up before somebody gets killed, if he kills you were does that leave your kids in the hands of an abuser.

you could take some martial arts classes and stop taking his bull ship. or he can seek psychiatric help and take prozac and cool down.

If you don't want to change things then get use to the beatings.

Consider what you and he are teaching those children. They will grow up believing that abuse and uncontrolled temper tantrums are normal and expected. Your boy will be like his dad and your girl will find an abusive man to pair up with because it is what she knows. If you love your children, give them a better future than you are now.

Try and get some help, and try to show him how much you love him, and try to show him that new movie that came out called "Fireproof", and then if all that fails then you should seperate.

There is no reason on this planet why ANYONE should ever have to put up with that! Not only you, but your helpless children. If you dont do something you are not being the mom that you agreed to be when you decided to get pregnant.

if you plan to stay with this man then you need to go to councling or something and if that dont work then you need to go out even if it is hard and you two have kids together a real man would not physically or emotionally abuse you or your kids! I will pray for god to give the knowledge you need in this time of need.

It is peculiar that the questioneer has no other questions or comments to add or relate to toward the people who reply to it. If "Anonomous" is sincere, perhaps they can give us a little more of their fake plastic details. Go ahead...

RUN you and your babies deserve better you are beautiful, whoever you are....be strong!

It does not matter about HISTORY ; YOU are NOT doing your kids any favors by staying with a man who claims to love them ; BUT physically abuses them as well as emotionally abuses AND their Mother ..YOU . That is NOT L O V E ; That is Anger and Control .... This man belongs locked up behind bars somewhere ... I don't see a Question ; BUT this is my solution... Kick has abusive azz to the CURB IMMEDIATELY ... and talk to a prosecutor about the physical abuse ... on you and the kids ... Then get a damm good divorce attorney and take him to the cleaners .... NO matter what ; HE has NO business laying his hands on you in an abusive manner .... It is time for YOu to move on with your kids ... Good Luck !

You plan to stay with him? Okay, however, he needs to cease the abuse immediately for both you and your children's sake. He can pray and seek counseling. Both are effective. I had an abusive father, and although sometimes he can still be abusive, thanks to prayer and counseling it is rare.

If you want to take the abuse he dishes out..so be it. BUT, if he is being physically or emotionally abusive to your children..SHAME on you for staying! The line 'he loves my kids' is absolute crap. A person does not physically abuse someone they actually love..EVER...and especially not a child. This old 'it's just his temper' is a moronic thing to say or believe. HE NEEDS HELP and your children are paying the price. Do the right thing and leave for your children's sake. If he gets help and gets better, then you can try again.

For sake of your children you need to get out of that relationship. Your children are young enough now where they wont remember too much as adults but your running out of time. If you are scared of what he might do if you leave with the children they are places to help you and protect you from him. It may be embarrassing to be in a place like that but they will help you get your life back and counsel you if need it. If you dont do anything and let this man keep doing what hes doing it is going to end tragicly for all of you. you deserve a good life and there are good men out there dont settle for the first one that comes along cause hes going to be another abusive person in your life, then you'll have to start all over.

Sweet one.......you are not doing yourself OR your children a favor by staying with an abusive person. You need to protect yourself and your children from any further injury. Please don't subject yourself or your children to any more abuse. Sounds like he needs to be arrested, ordered into anger management classes. Your children will be forever scarred by such a person.......please seek professional protection and assistance. A women's shelter would be a good place to start.

your an idiot

NO ONE can abuse you or your children without YOUR permission... Think about it. Tyrants exist only because the victim(s) allow it. It will be challenging, it is sad, but it must be done. You must have the courage to take your children and leave (after involving the authorities) as this is the ONLY way you can break the chain. Statistically, victims of abuse often times are forever damaged and, quite often, become abusers themselves...

If you must stay married, I understand that. Please live separately for the sake of your children.

If you stay then shut up and deal with it, as you are wrong if he hurts one of the kids. For the sake of you and the kids both leave. I have been where you are and I am telling you it will not get any better. Who do you love the most him or your kids and yourself. Sorry to be so forward, but kids are killed everyday because of the one being abused says I lvoe him and do not want to leave. Well, guess dwhat he does not lvoe any of you or he would not be abusive to you. He lvoes hisself and you serve his purpose. Respect yourself and love yur kids. Leave.

I suggest you invest in a louieville slugger, after a couple of hard taps on his bull head he will learn that there are consequences to hitting you and your children. at least after he wakes up.

If you plan to stay with him then write your will and make sure someone else has custody of those kids, now, so they don't grow up thinking this is normal. If you are going to let him have his wife-punch-bag just because he has a painful past or childhood or because he's somehow blackmailed you into thinking you owe it to him, then at least get the kids out of that nightmare, or is his old age worth more than their whole lives? Sorry to be so blunt about it but that's the choice you've got. Your kids NEED you to protect them from seeing him angry, being hurt and scared by him, or growing up to be like him.

I think your priorities are in the wrong place. You seem to care more about your relationship with your abusive husband then you do a healthy life for your children. Whatever you are afraid of I'm just going to come right out and say get over it already and do better by your children. I am very familar with this because my mothers first husband was the same way when I was a kid and you know what happened... when I was in the first grade and my brother was in pre k the government took us away and for a very long time my grandmother took care of us so we didn't end up in foster homes. Your children are to small now but as soon as someone notices (and it will show in their development) ,someone will see what you are to love struck to do anything about and you will wish you where more responsible and faught harder for them. I don't know why you are any women stay in relationships like that and scrifice the lifes of your children selfishly . When they get older and get hooked on drugs and turn to the street try and remember what situation you decided to bring them up in and be prepared to blame yourself.

Are complaining, venting, proud of it or what? If you don't intend to do anything about then, why even bring it up?

You should be arrested for child abuse. History? are you kidding? If I could I'd have you arrested for putting your children in that position. You need to get your head out of your ass before he hurts one of them and you get arrested for letting it happen.