My boyfriend told me that sometimes when I'm asleep he has sex with me. Is this rape?
by 
Freaky_Chick
ANSWERS: 20
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Technically, yes it is. Any sex where one party does not give consent (when they are not heavily under the influence of drugs etc) can be considered rape. Ditch the loser and shop him to the police!
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If you've given him prior consent, or indicated that its OK for him to have sex with you whilst you're asleep then no, its not. If he does it without your permission, or continues to do it after you've made clear you are unhappy about it then yes it is. But you would have a very difficult time bringing the case to court or securing a prosecution (its difficult enough in straightforward rape cases) particularly if you continued to share a bed or a consensual sexual relationship with him after you became aware of what he was doing. I'm not saying that makes him right, just that its very unlikely a rape case would be succesful. My suggestion is that if you don't like the idea and don't trust him to stop after a serious talk about it that you reconsider whether the relationship is really a good idea. There's a trust issue here.
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Your question is "is this rape?" Whilst consent is a big part of this issue, the simple answer/question would be 'how do you feel about it?' The fact that you have to ask this question suggests that you don't feel outraged. Personally I find it very hard to believe that this is taking place unless you are comatose from drugs and/or alcohol. Additionally I would have thought that you yourself would have been able to tell in the morning that this thing had happened. You really should analyse your own feelings and see how you feel. Technically rape would be very hard to prove and police action might be tricky to bring about. I personally think that this is a very sleazy thing to do to a woman if what he is saying is true. Look at the context of his claims and you might find that he has an agenda in telling something which isn't true, from mind games to power play. Either way, lies notiwthstanding, I am not at all sure that this man has a healthy respect for you or your body.
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at least he told you...hes obviously not trying to hide anything...so i dont think its wrong unless you told him to not do it and he still did
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Yes it is. He has no right without your consent and to believe that he does makes him very ill.
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do you take medications to make you sleep? because i find it difficult to believe that you are been plugged and don't know it. and no,it is not rape,you are in bed with him.when does your consent ends?
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definitely
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it is because you didn't give him consent prior to having sex.
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Most definitly. Although I can't understand how you sleep through it. You need to leave him and go to the police. He may never be prosecuted because the evidence is gone, but at least there will still be a report on file. You're consent ends when you go to sleep and you have every right to be the one who decides if and when you have sex. Not him.
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Are you telling us that you sleep through intercourse and don't even wake up at all? Your boyfriend must have a needle-dick and the fact that he waits until you are out cold is downright creepy. What's next? Will he visit the morgue and have sex with corpses? As far as rape, that is your call honey, if you sleep in the same bed with him, it sort of like you agree to be with him. Just my humble opinion.
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Unless he is just having a bad joke (I find it hard to believe that you wouldn't wake up) then yes, it is rape since you didn't give your consent. If you don't like the thought of him having sex when you are asleep, tell him. If he continues, get him reported and dump him.
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Sure it is a rape. Reliable protection from it is a chastity belt. They are in use more than you think.
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The first thing I would likely do is wake up. I think your friend is telling you stories. No one would sleep through sex.
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i guess it is rape because she didn't give consent.
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Was she asleep or passed out? Happened to me when I was passed out - and I'd think that as being raped.. not that I go around crying I was raped - I prefer nobody knew
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I can see why it might be a tough one to call for some people. It was sex without consent on the one hand, on the other she wasn't saying no, he wasn't forcing himself violently on her. But, the way I see it, she can't say no if she's unconscious. If her partner doesn't have the decency to wake her up and ask her if she wants to be intimate with her, he doesn't sound like a particularly trustworthy person. It can be nice to be woken up by the other person gently kissing you, and even if you aren't in the mood, you can stop it before it goes any further. But if you wake up and find your partner already having sex with you, A) what if I didn't want to? and B) they obviously don't care about me if they didn't even bother to wake me up so I could enjoy it.# That's my take on the situation. As an aside, he doesn't sound that good in bed if she didn't even stir throughout the whole thing.
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I am pretty sure that it would be very difficult to sleep through a penatrative sexual act unless you were passed out drunk or drugged. Sleep just would not usually do it.If she slept through the act it must have been something she would wish to forget if she was awake. Has your friend had a row with her boyfriend because that is a very dangerous allegation to make. If the story is true then it is certainly sex without consent but very difficult to prove. May I ask HOW she found out?
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Under some states laws it is rape.
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Please tell your friend to leave this sick man IMMEDIETLY he should be in prison ---- he IS a rapist. Fullstop.
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That would be rape because its ex without consent. However, I find it hard to believe. How can someone 'get jiggy with you' and not wake you up? Is he tiny? Underweight? Or when you say 'asleep' do you mean comatose like after a party and some hard drinking?
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