I think having you as a father is punishment enough.

Hopefully you're just being sarcastic about your suggestions because you're upset.....that would be horrible and inhumane. If this happened to my son, I would take him back to the store and have him apologize to the manager/owner. I'd also request that he be allowed to do work for free there - sweeping the floor, stocking shelves, etc. Hopefully this would restore his reputation with the owner and also teach him a good lesson. Physical punishment is never an option with me.

strip his room. if you starve him or beat him you could get in trouble.

Well, if you beat him he's just going to turn into more of a criminal than he apparently already is. And if you give him nothing but water for 2 days, he's only gonna steal food. Catch 22.

When I was about 11 yrs old I got arrested for shoplifting. It was a terrifying enough experience being in the jail for about an hour and I was really stressed out and depressed for quite a while. I was glad my parents didnt punish me because they realized how much I had already been thru. Be merciful to your son is what I recommend. In california you can go to jail yourself for hitting a child. Consider carefully what you intend to do

Your 2 examples is a good way to get CPS knocking on your door.........How about Chores........Kids seem to really hate doing chores.........XBOX 360? if you confiscate that for awhile---- should just about do it.

I won't comment on the punishment,but the fact that he shoplifted and the item he shoplifted are important when trying to figure out what is going on in his life that caused him to shoplift,was it for kicks,drugs,just to show off? I once got busted shoplifting chedder cheese...why because I was stoned and had the munchies...just my thoughts.Oh yeah in my opinion bust his ass,a spanking never hurt anybody.

i would ground him until his 18 lol not really it happened to me. the store manager was gonna call the cops so i told him call my mom i am no almost 18 and haven't stolen anything since and talk to him, and see why he did it?

Would you give him a boat?

Feed him bran muffins and high-fiber food, lock him in a room with a toilet and nothing else to clean himself with but poison ivy. Also, don't tell him it's poison ivy. That'll be sure to get you arrested and wreck the child's psyche for life.

public execution in the town square is a great detterent, but running a raffle to cut his right hand off is very p.c.

Try vasectomy for yourself! I know it's worked wonders for me!

Shoplifting is often a form of "self harm". Punishing him or trying to make his life more difficult might make the situation worse. Perhaps check out some websites on self-harm or even speak to a psychologist who knows a fair bit about self harm. Some psychologists don't know much about self harm and wouldn't include shoplifting as a form--so I would be cautious when seeking out information or advice from a professional or websites.

I'd go with the cane...though my dad used a belt and my mom a switch, which I had to go get myself.

cane. Then make him write lines, I hated that. No food for 2 days can be harmful to a child's health...

take everything out of his room but a bare mattress for a week or two depending on his behavior to follow the punishment

Tell them to take him to jail for a coupla days and see if it changes him

Neither. Take away his privileges for awhile. No TV, no friends, no computer, gameboy, XBox, Ipod, phone, whatever he has--take it away. He needs to understand the seriousness of his actions and physical punishment or food deprivation won't motivate him to curb such behavior. Also, I'd sit down with the boy and try to figure out what is going on there. find out if it's something he did alone or with some of his friends--peer pressure. Good luck to you.

caning his bare backside will do nothing, pain goes away, making him survive on water wont teach him not to shoplift, put him to work, teach him to work for what he wants, try an allowance/chores. Once he completes the simple chores, he will realize stealing is not neccessary because now he has money to buy what he wants, and no theft can ever amount to that proud feeling of accomplishment as he pays for what he wants on his own, this can also build a good work ethic for his future.

Damn where is that Witch with the gingerbread house when you need her? Oooor you could eat him yourself... good with a thick coating of mustard. ;]

Think back to what worked with you when you were that age, and try that.

at thirteen a beating would have done nothing for me. but taking away my phone and computer, and then replacing that time with housechores would definitely make an impression on my mind

Uhmmm, I never faced shoplifting with my son, but the police did bring him to my work for being caught on school grounds with pot. I said nothing to him at that moment. I told my boss I needed the rest of the day off. It was a silent ride home. At home, I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. The floor was clean and I had a mop, but I needed to do this before I spoke with my son. He knew I was cleaning the floor and he knew that when I was ready to speak to him, I would. The anticipation was almost too much for him to bear. The moment I walked into his bedroom, the waterworks and explanations began. I listened. He ended with; “You got to get me a lawyer mom.” I asked him if he was done and he nodded. I told him that he just turned eighteen 6 days earlier. I expect him to make eighteen-year-old decisions now. I also expect that if he did something wrong in life, no matter what it be, to assume responsibility for it, and to do so graciously. And that I loved him. That was all I had to say on the matter. The next morning, at his request, I drove him down to the courthouse to appear before the judge. I watched as one kid after another stood and deny wrongdoing about this or that. The judge was really hard on these kids and I was really getting nervous for my son. Most of these kids had attorneys and I had told my son no to an attorney. When it came time for my son to appear before the judge, I never seen him stand as straight and as tall as he did that day. He told the judge that he was in the wrong. She asked if he understood what it all meant, and he replied, “Yes ma’am.” Being caught on school grounds with pot is a serious issue in this area. I was not proud of what brought my son to this, but I could not have been any prouder of how he assumed responsibility for his actions. The judge evidently took this into consideration as well, because his fine and probation was far less than kids who had attorneys for similar predicaments. My advice to you would be work out your frustrations, whether it’s aimlessly hammering countless nails into a board or whatever. This gives you time to calm down, and it gives your kid time to think about their actions. Then allow your kid to tell you why they did what they did uninterrupted. When they wind down, you very calmly tell them what you expect of them (age appropriate) and that they need to assume responsibility for their actions. Give them an opportunity to see if they can come up with a way to rectify the situation. And most importantly, tell them that you love them. You may swat a toddler’s behind to correct them. Grounding might work through the preteen years. But the real parenting comes into play when the kids hit their teens. That’s when parents actually have to use their brains. And the best way to do that is to listen to them; to talk to them, and not yell at them. Once you start yelling, their eyes glaze over. I know, I’ve seen that look. I learned to avoid that look quickly. My son is now twenty-six. So there is hope Dad. Good Luck. ~ang

Neither - both are cruel and won't teach him any more than the caution did. But do get him to apologise to the store owner and offer to do unpaid work at the shop. Don't even THINK about caning a 13 year old on his bare bottom or otherwise - that's just SICK! Starving him is a bad idea too as growing kids need their food.

neither one..id would ground him from phone,compter,and all videogames..for at least amonth. let him have time to think about what he did wrong and make sure he knows that at 13 hes starting to create a record for himself that later on will effect him of getting a job..no one wants to hire someone that steals..hopefully he will see and not do it again..good luck

Neither. I would ground him big time, make him earn back trust and priveleges. In my house, he would have just indicated his need to be an indetured servant!!

BOTH! Really though, if it were my son he would have a mattress, sheets a two sets of clothing in his room (and his door would be removed) for a week or two depending on what he stole. He would be responsible for moving everything else out to the garage and washing my car every other day since it would no longer fit in the garage. He also would have to wash his two sets of clothes every two days so he has clean clothes to wear. When time came, he would then be responsible for moving everything back in to his room. Before I did this though, I would need to personally be 99% sure he actually did steal something; sometimes store security can fudge things a bit.

you sound like a much nicer version of my father