If you put all the gay men in your City you would see a varity of things. Flamboyant men are that way because that is their personality. It is like asking why a hyper person is hyper or a quiet person quiet.

Its the flamboyant and over the top "Look at me I'M GAY!!!" ones you notice. In many ways I think a certain breed of gay culture has evolved in the same way a certain type of black culture has evolved (the bling,the lingo etc)- there's nothing specifically black about it, but because its what young black people are exposed to, many of them take it on board as a way of expressing pride in their black identity. Same with gay men- many see flamboyance and "gay" actions as a way of confirming their identity as part of the gay community. However, by no means all, or even most gay men are like this. The ones who act the same as straight men you probably just assume are straight. You can't tell someone's sexuality by looking at them in the same way as you can tell their race. The gay men you refer to are part of a particular culture or community - part of which (but not all of which) involves being gay. It also involves a certain way of dressing, acting and talking. The gay men who aren't part of this sub-group you don't associate with being gay because they don't act in what you now perceive to be a "gay" way of acting (conclusion reached by observing small number of gay men) and therefore you assume that they aren't gay because they don't "act gay" or shout the fact from the rooftops in the way some do. There are probably more gay men than you realise. EDIT: I've just been thinking about this, and it occured to me that it may also to a certain extent be a mating call. I have a gay friend who is anything but the stereotypical gay man- he has a deep voice, dresses in combats and baggy t-shirts, drinks pints and hardly ever sets foot in a gay club or bar. He tends to find it quite difficult to meet guys, and often finds himself in embarrassing situations getting chatted up by girls. If you think about it, because there are less gay people than straight ones we tend to automatically assume that the people we meet are straight, unless we have reason to suspect otherwise. The result is that without some kind of signalling process gay men (and women for that matter) would find it a very hit and miss process looking for dates, and would frequently have to extract themselves from unwanted embarrassing advances by the opposite sex. Therefore some immediate way of identifying themselves to the world as gay (via voice or clothes for example) reduces the extent of these problems. People of both genders know where they stand with an "obviously" gay man, whereas it might not be immediately obvious with someone who didn't conform to the stereotype.

look at Will and Grace, Jack is Richard Simmons Flamboyant, Will has his feminine qualities but for the most part you could probably hold a converstion with him and walk away never suspecting a thing. its all in their personalities and composure. Some men choose to embrace thier homosexuality to the point of trying to act like or immitate a woman, and some keep thier composure but have the same sexual drives as the others. Another good example are women, some women girly girls, they have to have everything pink and get french nails and the whole nine yards, and other women just aren't as exited about the legally blonde look.

My answer is that they are allowed too. Most gay men act the way that they do because They are raised around people that don't know any other views of a gay man than some flaming, limp-wristed, church organ player, that compliments them on their hair. There are many gay types out there.. but in mass generalization ( the part what everyone sees), you get the same views that are acted out on gay men when they are young. Other countries embrace that someone is gay and not force them to become one or the other. Others kill them, but thats another topic.. They act differently from straight men because it is simply a slippery slope effect. Once they test the waters and see how much they can get away with, they're going to continue. Just like some thugs you see around. ( Not talking because of misfortune). Many of them become the way they are because they aren't taught any better.. their parents, community, politicians, whoever allow them to do what they want to do, when they want to do it. I've noticed in other countries that even if they're gay.. they have family obligations that will not be compromised. They could care less. Here, when they find out you're gay. You're either kicked out, sent to some camp, or futher subjegated into the stereotypical gay community that really isn't a community at all, just a bunch of stereotypical behavior going on and theres not a better word for it. Just like theres a separation between the black community and the hip-hop perceived notion of it. What ever gets the most attention nowadays get the most followers

I act like any other guy, I just like guys.

we don't...simple as that.

Not all of them do....If your talking about ones in high school though, I new some like that. I think they just wanted attention though they will probably grow out of the "flamer" stereotype....

because there are many colors in the rainbow, do you say black men walk differently than white men, that brown men talk differently than white men? A homophobic sexist stupid question.

Which stereotypes are you thinking of? Whatever you name, we can provide you with tens of thousands of alternative ways of acting.

gaymen's brains are different than their straight brothers is, because during the embroy state in the mothers womb gay men had an estrogen wash that is their brains became more effeminized. some gaybrains had more estrogene wash than others thats is why some gay men behave or chatt more effeminate that other gaymen. it's the degree of brain effeminaztion. bottomline is you borned this way and just accept our wonder uniquinesses.

To me, that change in voice and mannerism, while a stereotype is sort of a mark of belonging for some. I wonder sometimes if gays do it on purpose to shout "hey gay person here. look at me." Some may actually be like that as a person. I think some of it is for show though. I know gays that can turn that accent and mannerism off like a switch.

I am assuming you mean, them acting feminine or flamboyant. Some people are just more dramatic and/or emotional, but society sees that as being feminine.

The same reason why women talk and act differently from men.

Not that I've ever noticed. I think you are focusing on the minority vs. the majority, who blend in without you even knowing it. And that's the nicest I can put it, so I will stop there. :o)

they don't...that's a stereotype. you notice the very few who are a minority. most act no differently than straight men.

the only 'mincers' I ever see is on T.V. ... talk with a lisp and pansy voice ...hands on hips and walk like they have a cucumber up their arse... in real life I bet you couldn't pick a gay/bisexual man out of a room full of men even if 50% were gay/bi and the other 50% were stra8, but yes there are ones in real life who are 'mincers' and they need a good bitch slappin for giving the rest of us a bad name ...lol

Don't think that they do necessarily. There are some very feminine gay guys, but on the whole gay men and women too are no different from anyone else.

Not all gay men are like that. Some of them are actually "manlier" than straight men. It's getting harder and harder to tell these days. Now, let's discuss those who do "act differently." I think it's just their way of expressing themselves.

I asked this same question to a gay friend, his response was "after you have been boned in the ass for 23 hours your voice will get a little squeeky too" just gonna have to take him at is word on that

I think it's a expression of individuality to differentiate themselves from str8 men.

I really don't get this notion of effeminate men acting the way they do in order to get attention or to identify their sexuality to others. This sounds like a relic of the old days when people actually believed that being gay was a choice. As a school counselor, I see kids in all grades k - 12. From my experience, there are certain kids that you know are gay, it's just that they don't know it yet. Some are effeminate boys. Some are more subtle, but show a clear preference to be near others of the same gender and will try to be more physically affectionate with same gender friends. I very much doubt that they choose to act as they do, in any real sense of having a choice. They are also far too young to know about what signals to send out, especially when they don't know their own sexuality. People are as they are. The more effeminate men did not ask for or choose to be effeminate, any more than anyone asks to be left-handed or brown-eyed. Research has documented that gay men tend to have a cadence in their speech patterns which is similar to women and different from heterosexual men. This certainly does not include all gay men, but it is another difference (sometimes very subtle) that is not chosen. Ask any poor boy who was labelled a fag or queer in grade school if he chose to be ostracized and beaten up. It seems to me that a more important question is why do we allow kids to be ostracized and beaten up? Maybe it's because there are so many people who still think it's a choice!

not all gay men do, and there are even some straight men that are mistaken as gay because they seem less masculin it changes from person to person. the gay bitchy girl attitude thing is a stereotype, some gay guys are that way, some gay guys choose to act that way and grow out of it, and some arent that way at all. it changes from peron to person

So tell me what is the proper way for a gay man to act? Seriously give me some tips! Should I start walking around with four fingers down my pants like Al Bundy? Maybe start talking like Barry White? Learn to do the John Wayne walk? Get my hair frosted like Pauly Walnuts? It's been my life's ambition to pass as a straight guy! Maybe i'll just act like myself and tell the world to B*** ME! *snap*

well thats nhot always true, but in those cases i think its just how they are, i mean im gay and im not very effeminate, i walk like a girl, and i have my girly moments but other than that its not too apparant. i dont frost my hair or dye it or anything like that. its just who they are.

Personally, I don't care how anybody acts as long as when they are at work or in any other professional setting they keep a professional attitude. Also, behave in public.

If someone's just being themselves and not hurting anyone, why should they have to conform? Here's a question...why do many straight men act differently than gay men? We are all unique, love people for who they are.

OK, your assumption is basically wrong. I am a straight man, and I love cooking. I have many gay freinds, and one of them actually likes sports! I hate sports.

there's one more reason that we act diferantly than straight men... we ain't straight!

They don't... society has been brainwashed into believing that all gays act like girls. the great majority blend and do not draw undo attention to themselves. Its the men who act like queens that disgust society as a whole. I'm gay and I like being a man. there is no roll playing. The whole idea behind being gay, is a man who likes other men who naturally act like men. A man who is gender confused is a thorn in everyone's side. No matter what they say, a man who acts like a woman has spent a lot of time practicing and primping. They've cast a mold they can't get out of. No "real man" is Ga-Ga over a queen. emotional problems are there. sorry the truth hurts sometimes!!

For the most part, we don't. I don't even dress effeminately or talk with an accent. I prefer wearing darker clothes and if you heard the music i listen to you would be surprised. I think its something some gay men choose to adopt in their own character to set them self out from their peers. I don't need that cue. If a man is gay and we both share an attraction for one another, i know. You just do. I heard that the accent itself was actually the accent of a place in California where the people talk like that naturally.

Not all do, but for the rest, uh, they are gay and lie to be flamboyent?????

Because we're fabulous lol ah no really though just think it's cos ya see a lot of gay/bi guys hanging out with girls so they pick up their manerisms or whatever the word is...

Ok I sat here and I read through the entire list of answers, most of which made some sense, a few of which gave me a large head ache! 1) Being Gay is not a choice. 2) your personality is not genetically predetermined nor is dictated by hormones in the womb! 3) Gay men are no different than straight men, except that they want to have sex with men instead of women. Other than that, they're just the same. A man is a man is a man my friend, gay, straight, bi or purple! Some straight men behave in very effeminate ways, I had a friend in my high school years who other people were always asking me, is he gay? He had a girlfriend and was very much the average horn dog teen aged boy we hear tell of in pop culture every day. He just happened to be clean shaven, well dressed, well educated, and have a slight accent, small but there. He was so straight it's amazing he was physically capable of bending at all. Like wise some gay men are really butch and into sports and hunting and all of that sort of thing. My point here is that all men in our society are raised in our society, with our ideals and social norms and male specific expectations rammed down their throats. So straight, gay, bi or purple, he will feel the pressures of our society breathing down his neck and expecting him to 'be a man', he will communicate for the most part, like any other man and deal with things in much the same way. Men have their own code in this country and their own set of unspoken rules about what being a man means and all the men in this culture have to deal with all that stuff. My point is a man is a man, a woman is a woman, some are gay, some are bi and some are straight and beyond that all differences are individual, based on personal experience and emotional history. A human being is an individual, period. Anything else is just a lot of nonsense clouding the issue. And while we're on the topic, I would like to point out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with effeminate men of any preferential flavor, bless them. And the same goes for whatever variety the rest of us happen to be, we're people, we're human and we're each of us only ourselves and that's just fine. Bi and Proud in the heartland.

I actually heard about a study about this before that agrees with this. I think it is because of their lifestyle. It's different. That doesn't necessarily mean that the way that they talk and act is bad, though. I have noticed it, too. I actually find gay men to be more understanding and tolerant of other people. I wonder why that is. Maybe because they know what it feels like to be hated for who they are, so they understand how other people feel when they are.

It happens when I get excited. Also, some gay (and straight) people had lisps/speech problems when they were younger—4 years of speech therapy quickly undies itself whrn I get excited about a guy or I'm speaking with another GLBTQ person. :-/

I suspect many metros have been brainwashed into being gay because "straight men don't act like that" I was once told I walk like a girl (I was not strutting or anything, just walking to class) I did not care but most guys would take offence and some would wonder if that means something about them.