by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 24th, 2008

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Do people feel that "one-night stands" vs. "dating" is really a black-and-white issue, it's either one or the other? Isn't it possible for two lonely people to get together for a night and still respect each other?

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by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on March 25th, 2008
For two lonely people to get together for a night. Yep sure. Why not. If they are upfront about what they seek. And one isn't having to pretend and hide their feelings. Secretly hoping it will mean more than it is.
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- Very good answer. Do I detect a note of bitterness?
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 25th, 2008
- Bitter? No Experienced ? Yes :) When I was much younger and far less knowing.....
  
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  by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on March 25th, 2008
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by RosieGHM Jetpacker on March 25th, 2008
Anything is possible, PC. If they are two adult unattached people who are honest with each other and want the same thing from the "hook-up" experience, I see nothing wrong there. However, the danger lies in the unpredictability of emotion..one of the people involved may "fall" for the other one...so someone could get hurt! :(
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- Thanks Rosie! I can always count on you to be level-headed with your answers. +6
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 25th, 2008
- What a nice compliment, PC..thank you very much! :) ((hugs))
  
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  by RosieGHM Jetpacker on March 25th, 2008
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by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on March 24th, 2008
Well, dating by my definition is long term. One night stands are not. Is it possible to have one and still respect each other? It is.

Funny, I hooked up with a guy for a night and we both knew what the score was. We ended up dating for almost 3 years ;)
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- Good points, my question was kind of tossed off without too much thought put into it. I just feel like there's such a stigma of "sluttiness" attached to the whole one-night stand thing, and while I'm not a big fan of it, I have to wonder if it's so wrong to just want to connect with someone who's on the same page as you physically and emotionally, even if there's no future in it.
  
  As for dating, I mean the whole spectrum, casual, long-term, committed relationship. I'd probably rather sleep with a total stranger than a girl on the first date. Guess it just depends what the bigger picture looks like.
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 24th, 2008
- Well, you're talking to the person infamous for the Great Tesco Caper--sorry TMI warning (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/110024), so I see nothing wrong or slutty about it as long as it's not icky frequent :) It was fun, the guy asked me out, we drank, we sang, I danced on a pub table and well we just cliqued. Eh. . .people will make what they want of it, but I agree that putting out on a 1st date is sleazier.
  
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  by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on March 24th, 2008
- Wowie zowie, that was a good story. Thanks for the perspective and the answers, Andy. Not TMI at all. +6 in case you didn't notice already.
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 24th, 2008
- Glad it wasn't TMI--thanks! Now get over the Mondays already. . . ;)
  
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  by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on March 24th, 2008
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by Galeanda on March 25th, 2008
It might be but that's the problem....you never know beforehand. What if one person really feels something for the other? What if it leaves one of them with great remorse or guilt or regrets? And personally I don't see the reason to have sex without love. They are so intertwined for me. OKay it might be because I'm a woman, but there probably will always be a woman involved and I think it's rather difficult for most of us to separate our emotions from the act. I guess I don't see sex as necessary to just make yourself feel better, to forget something, to relax, to de-stress, to just have fun. There are so many other things that could fill those needs without the risk of hurting someone or getting hurt yourself.
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- Good answer, thanks! +6
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on March 25th, 2008
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by Keysha on April 10th, 2008
To me, one-night-stands are when two people get together for the sole purpose of 1 night of sex. Dating is when you are seeing someone (even if it's just one time), for something OTHER than sex (even if sex is a part of it, it is not the sole reason).
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by Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo on April 10th, 2008
Sometimes all you need is one night to know that you would be woefully incompatable with another person, and yet still be able to be friends and laugh about it later.
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- Thanks, that's a very good point. +6!
  
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  by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on April 10th, 2008
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by whodoyouthink51 on March 24th, 2008
I would say that one night stands are messed up in the sence that sex outside of marrige is wrong... if your lonely visit your mom and ask for cookies and milk she might make you some and make you feel young again lol but a one night stand usually ends in you or the other wanting more!
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by Taciturnu on April 10th, 2008
Dating to me would imply tha there is romantic interest, whereas a one night stand signifies physical attraction.

I do think it's possible for two people (not always lonely) to jump into bed, and never have it happen again while still having respect for the other. The problem occurs when one of the two think that they're becoming intimate with someone who has romantic interest in them...
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Question

Do people feel that "one-night stands" vs. "dating" is really a black-and-white issue, it's either one or the other? Isn't it possible for two lonely people to get together for a night and still respect each other?

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Question

Do people feel that "one-night stands" vs. "dating" is really a black-and-white issue, it's either one or the other? Isn't it possible for two lonely people to get together for a night and still respect each other?

Answers. 8 helpful answers below.

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