Why are women advised to play hard to get when so many men are afraid of rejection?
by 
mizuiislife
ANSWERS: 67
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Because no man wants what he so easily may procure.
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Don't hate the woman, hate the game.
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I don't know who is supposed to be advising women, but I have only heard, be honest, be yourself.
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i don't think it is so much that people are advising women, i just think that it is what girls think will get the guy is to play "hard to get". but as a woman, i believe it is to be yourself and don't change yourself for anyone because that right person will like you for you.
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Because like a lion men like to chase their prey...And I like to be chased.
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We are not advised... I think most women just feel that the guy will work that much harder to get her...the relationship just might be stronger because he actually wanted to put forth effort.
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I don't know. I don't like playing games.
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I dont know many who continue to "play hard to get" or not very often atleast. When women dont know how to stop I generally assume their immature. And sometimes, its not playing hard to get, sometimes the girls just shy. So youve got to try to figure out what her motives are (whether its becuase shes shy or just likes the chase). But honestly, I feel more comfortable knowing a guy will chase after me and put effort into starting a relationship. Oh, and maybe I should add that alot of women dont understand guys (just like how guys dont ocmpletly understand women).
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Because this world is painful and it makes no bloody sense WHATSOEVER.
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Because of age old steriotypical gender based expectation that our parents feed us and society can't let go of. Most of us were raised with these things looming over head as expectations and life lessons. Girls are supposed to be teases because men are competitive. Hence the creation of the stripper! The most oppurtunistic, self serving, creature on the planet surrounded by a pack of neanderthals that actually buy into the possibility of getting something from any of them. Maybe if we are taught differently from childhood, then people can get their heads out of their butts and learn how to be human, rather than neolithic, regressive apes thriving on and cultivating desire driven need over reason and intelligence.
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As much as men may not like rejection, the idea of being in a relationship is even more distasteful to them. I dont think women are being advised to "play" hard to get. I think more women are going with the theory of " dont let him USE you until you know his intentions." This could probably be avoided altogether if men didnt lie in order to obtain sex.
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Women have also been advised that men are afraid of commitment and intimacy, and that men are lovers of the hunt, which would explain playing hard to get. Maybe society's been looking to Hollywood and relationship 'experts' to show us what it is to be a man and a woman, and how to act and react in our relationships with each other. And instead, we need to learn about ourselves and what we want and how to conquer our fears (either sex) before we jump in to a relationship.
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Ive heard playing hard to get is just like a safe way for a woman not to get hurt from someone who wants nothing but a quicky or would hurt them in the end. if a guy takes the time to run after her, then She must mean a lil more than a quicky. but to me, I dont do that. I mean i could tell my boyfriend wanted to ask me out before. So i asked him out. and he said i took the words right out of his mouth xD
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Women have been told men have that hunter, gatherer thing going on and men should be the one to pursue. But playing hard to get....hummm I've heard about it, that's different. To me that seems more like a mind game for someone who wants to date more than one person and uses that as an excuse, or some women enjoy control. If a woman is really interested and the guy shows interest, if the woman has any value she will respond and not play those kind of games.
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Because people give crappy advice. ;)
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because we dont want guys to think were easy if we just give in u wouldnt want us as much
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Men like a challenge.
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because that's the way it works.
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If the guy actually wants you he'll chase you. Not like stalker-chase, though :(
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It's just the way things are, and they probably won't change drastically anytime soon.
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What a damn fine question miz. I don't have an answer.. but have some points.
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That's the tragic irony of life.
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Interesting paradox that continues in all dating circles. Women don't want to appear easy and men are still chicken *hits to approach them, unless they are inebriated and incoherent. I still like to observe this comical courting dance and manage to never get disappointed with some type of amusement. Women who know what they want - get it. Men who step up to the challenge - get it more than those chicken out. What can you say...Amore.
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Because usually the men woman try to play hard to get are usually agresive 'the ladys man' if you will.
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It's VERY bad advice.
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The more you pull away... they more they seem to want you.
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Because men can wash it all away and women can't
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becaus men want wemon more if they say no its this whole he wants wot he cant have thing and belive me it works
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Men love the thrill of the chase...
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because women want to make sure that the men they're interested in are interested in them too.
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I would say everyone is afraid of rejection. It touches up deep in our core, though it should't. Good question though.
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Playing hard to get is not about rejection, it's about not being too easy of a catch and making the man work for what he wants if you want to get got. Aren't you worth it?
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Andman- Will he still chase me if I've been a little too available, and then back off?
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Men these days like easy to get, times have changed
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because they think that what works to get the players and the jerks will get the good men too. IT WON"T. good men are not interested in mind games and are not drawn to something because they can not have it. you are using shark bait to try catching salmon. it may work once in a while but mostly you are only going to catch sharks.
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Depends what you mean by playing hard to get. Too many variables. If you mean going on a first date or you have dated many times and he wants the whole slice. So I'll just assume you both are fairly new to each other and have't even kissed yet. Yeah, its okay to kiss and pet a little if you both have the hots for each other. If you both are mature enough and know that this is just practice sessions until you find the right one, yeh have fun. But if its the serious type deal that you may want for a lifetime (most trade-in for different models after 7 years) you got to play a little hard to get and wait til you get that big diamond. Then,just manage the petting part,and just show and tell a little, which will make him want you even more. After the vows,he can have the whole pie and you can show and tell him everything.
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Because just as you were afraid of rejection..so we draw up a scheme i guess to make sure your into us..so in the long run we know your worth takin a chance on.
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Whoa ... wait a minute. Women aren't afraid of rejection? Who knew?
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Becuase lots of people give women lots of really bad advice.Girls are scared too death too.
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Because if we give in easily as woman then a man will think we are easy. Men seek out woman for casual relationships or for potential partners. A woman who gives in easily doesn't make marriage material as the guy may be afraid that the woman is promiscuous etc. A woman on the other hand is looking for someone who is willing to make a commitment and be faithful. Woman have a lot to lose, if they have sex with a partner and become pregnant and the guy isn't willing to help they have to raise a child on their own. Not all woman who sleep with guys on the first date are promiscuous nor bad people. It's all a part of human evolution. Read Evolution of Desire, it explains in greater detail why men and woman play the games they do. A quick synopsis: Men seek casual relationships... better chance to carry on their dna, woman seek long term relationships...easier to rear a child with a partner and his resources.
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We don't want to come off easy..
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They Do?...I don't no any men afraid of rejection
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Because we are told that it looks bad if we give ourselves up too easily. I've been told it looks cheap to give in.
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women don't want to seem to eager and playing hard to get will help a women figure out how much you like them. At least that's why i do it.
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So we don't look like we're an easy lay.
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Because we've been raised on overgeneralizations and absurd assumptions.
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I won't bother with a woman playing hard to get. My life is too short for games and I don't want them as any part of my relationship.
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Cause they want to make sure that the guy is really in love with them. Like truly and deeply in love. Not just playing around with and used by men. Its a way of showing that the guy really love her. Kinda heartbreaking, cause girls who are easy to get, are usually the one getting rejected.
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Strength and determination. If they have those two qualities, I believe there is more where that came from
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Because if a women didn't play hard to get then what fun would that be? were is the excitement in that? It's the rejection that makes me want a woman, like if she tells me NO its my goal to make her say yes it brings me into the chase, and for the other guys who are the weak the old saying goes only the strong survive
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'Hard to get" can mean 2 different things- 1. Catch me if you can 2. Stay at a distance and lets go slow.
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I think it's because most women want to know how much you care about them and how hard you will try to get them. As a man, I can only say we brought it upon ourselves because we do treat women horribly sometimes. So, based on that another reason could be that women don't want to open themselves to just any man because of abusive relationships or trust issues, which most people have in some form or fashion. I'm no expert on women, but that's my POV on this topic. If a woman is playing hard to get with you, and you really love her and want her to be happy, then you're gonna need to go through hell to get her, because that will show her how much you love her.
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If you've ever heard a group of guys talking about the women they've slept with (on a non-emotional/relational basis), you would understand why it's wise for a woman to take her time with a man. Moving too fast with a man tends to arouse feelings of hostility in men (they'll sleep with you, and then they'll hate you and tell others about it). Let's not forget the judgment 'slut' comments.
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And that's what made the book so interesting. A light goes on and you think hey I do that and that does seem like a logical explanation for why I do this or that or why other people act this way or that way. The more we learn about ourselves and why we do the things we do, the more we are in control of our actions. It's no longer a subconscience act when we realize that even tho a woman may be attracted to a male and the male may "act" like he's attracted to the female and appears to be a person willing to commit to a relationship (isn't dating other woman, has his attention focused on her), she needs to be careful because he's playing a game to pass on his dna. :)
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Have you ever thought woman also fear rejection VERY MUCH! It's almost as If we put up walls to not let anyone in so that we woun't get hurt and to see who cares enough to break them down ....
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it is so much that people are advising women,and they have there little clicks, and they can't act out twords the world like a man can, they want to act nasty and cruel, do you women, let me catch one alone, I'm tired of women acting like I'm not nice to look at and like there is something wrong with me, the next one I find alone is going to get hurt you that god dose not even allow into heaven you are the ones that are going to be left, you the woman that wants to put down and tell a man shit so it stays in there head so a man becomes weak as you are, you all dead, you hear me dead, I'm sick of it men don't even fuck with each other like that, you wanna be a mother fucker bitch die, and I'm stronger, wait, wait till I get my hands on one
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Well, they are only advised that when a man is actually pursuing them. And, men who pursue women aren't usually the ones afraid of rejection.
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Women are advised to do that because there's a stereotype about men that they'll just use women for sex and be done with her, that's why so many women play hard to get. Not all men are afraid of rejection, I don't bother with women, not cuz of fear of rejection but just cuz I don't wanna seem like a creep asking one out, let's face the facts here if a guy asks a girl out 8 times outta 10 she'll go "EW! Get away from me you creeeep!" That would be pretty embarassing. I think guys are more afraid of embarassment than rejection. Women play hard to get cuz they're afraid of being "hurt" as those whiney bitches say, and also becuase they crave attention. Pathetic.
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Because if women were advised to play easy, then some people would consider them sluts, skanks, etc.
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Women are attention whores, they cant live without it. Then when it backfires we are dogs or care about only one thing. It is a very boring and annoying game that men would have to go through unfortunately, forever. They like to see us suffer.
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Because some men are only in it for the chase.
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WHAT? I'm NOT playing! I AM hard to get!
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BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM SEE YOU AS A PERSON. IF THEY GO AWAY THEY WEREN'T WORTH IT ANYWAY. AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE YOURSELF AWAY
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No man wants a woman that nobody else wants. Or is easily had. What this means is no sitting by the phone waiting for his call. If your friends want to go out...no staying home and waiting hoping he'll call. This isn't rejection. Its smart. And it works. Have you ever noticed that when a woman is seeing someone then other guys are more interested. The reason is: she doesn't look needy and that scares guys.
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I think most men are afraid of commitment, BUT not just cos they are men!! lets agree some men are just after one thing but not all men!! maybe they have been hurt in a past relationship and they are afraid of going through it again. So for a man to let the love in is a big step if they have been hurt previously, same with girls but I Find men suffer harder during a break up than girls do in most cases.
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I don't think it's supposed to be 'hard to get' I think it's really that a woman just shouldn't play 'easy to get' otherwise, she seems...well, easy.
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I don't remember ever being advised to play hard-to-get, but I may have been and just forgot about it. However, I have been ACCUSED of playing hard-to-get when I wasn't. A guy actually told me that I was the only girl who didn't fall at his feet and my playing hard-to-get was a real turn on for him. You know what, though? I just wasn't interested. I wasn't even playing hard-to-get at all. I told him that, but he still decided to view it as me playing hard-to-get. -sigh-
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