Tough one because you had a feeling. But what brought on that feeling?

Just pictures? There has to be some context to it all did he request the pictures? are they from someone he 'hangs out' with alot? did some drunk girl that has a crush on him send them unsolicited?

NO WAY you weren't wrong....he was. My b/f snuck into my email and saw me flirting with another guy...I didn't get mad at him i felt bad and i knew i was wrong (this was A long time ago)

I don't think you were wrong. You weren't snooping just for the hell of it. You obviously had a strong intuition telling you that something was going on, and you needed concrete evidence to set your mind at ease. While I don't condone being sneaky, sometimes it is necessary to gain closure. Do not let him make you feel bad for what you did. His 'wrong' was much worse than yours. I hope you'll reconsider allowing him to be with you.

I don't think you were wrong..you had a bad feeling and you looked into it. the real issue here isn't whos right or wrong..its what you are going to do about it now! don't get hung up on what you did to find this out..focus on what the next step is.

1) Pictures or messages on a cell phone on in email DO NOT automatically mean he's cheating. If there's obvious communication between the two, there may be a PROBLEM, but not necessarily cheating (which, to my mind, requires physical contact or more than a touch, a hug, or a chaste kiss, although emotional cheating can also occur - ie: alienation of affection). I'm sure even YOU have recieved spam porn. SOME of them make it sound like the receiver has been chatting online with a girl. See the bottom of http://www.orangefrogproductions.com/ofp2s_spam_text.shtml for more on text spam emails like this, and be aware, I've ALSO received offers from porn sites (no, I'm not a member of one) with full-fledged hardcore pictures, and even more suggesting we'd already met! - see http://www.orangefrogproductions.com/ofp2s_spam_examples_20070830.shtml#porn for an example.) 2) With that internet connection on cell phones, guys (and girls) can also download porn. (Which is ALSO not cheating.) So a picture, in and of itself, doesn't show "cheating". The messages, on the other hand, COULD, if they are discussing meeting, or having "text sex". 3) You do have a trust issue, already, apparently, unless you are paranoid. MY guess is that paranoia came about because of YOUR "betraying" HIM. (See your question.) Now... Were you wrong. For what? Snooping? Yes. It does, and obviously HAS wrecked your trust in him, and it will in other men, most-likely. (Just because one guy's a jerk doesn't mean we ALL are!) "Betraying" him? YES. I don't care if he did it first. YOUR doing it was wrong. WHY? Because it's wrong to "betray" the one you love, whether they already were, they are thinking about it, they MIGHT... Where do you stop? If you feel this is it, then confront him. Your snooping should fall WELL below cheating. BUT, take into account the above, and the fact that YOU "betrayed" him. If you love each other, you CAN work it out unless you both are so hurt you can't get past it. It IS possible, you know. (Trust me... People have and do all the time.) If the relationship was falling apart, and it SOUNDS like it was, then it will STILL be up to you both on if it's worth it to try to work it out. Ultimately, the choice is BOTH of yours (especially since YOU betrayed him, too). Good luck. ;-)

Ok, this does NOT show a lack of trust, it shows that you'r a GIRL and have ESTROGEN in your system - all normal girls do this babe. Do something completey awful and embarrasing to him before you break upo with his a** publically.

Looking through someones private things is wrong - even if they prove you right. This person should have been honest enough to tell you what was happening but probably didnt for fear that they might lose you, or worse case - they dont care enough to be truthful with you. You cant just tell them you saw them unless you are ready for them to get really upset at your having looked through their phone. You have to decide what you want to happen next and proceed with it.

If your gut was telling you something wasn't right and you have tried talking to your boyfriend about it, and it didn't solve the feeling, I wouldn't say it was wrong exactly but I do think that you both have some issues that you need to work out or you need to think about walking away.

No you weren't wrong....your relationship should be an open book from both ends, if he has nothing to hide then he shouldn't be getting mad at you. Confront him about the text messages, you should have the minute you saw them.

Just like all the clichés I started to suspect something was up when my boyfriend of six months became distant and started working late. He also didn't answer the phone when I rang him, and he always had his mobile switched off when we were together. I wanted to check it for text messages but he was really protective of it. I must admit I tried to hack into his e-mail but I couldn't figure out the password. I know I should have talked to him about it but I couldn't face the showdown and guilt if he denied it. My techie friend told me that I should get his mobile phone checked out. So I brought him a new mobile for his birthday, he was gadget mad and loved it, and I assuaged my guilt by thinking that even if I found out nothing, at least he'd still like the present. I got the opportunity to use it a couple of weeks later when he said he was going to the gym, having already been earlier that day. I contacted the http://www.computersleuth.co.uk and had the phone checked, and it had loads of hidden text messages on it from his ex girlfriend. By the time he got home his bags were packed. He didn't have a clue what was happening when I told him to leave, and that I knew he was cheating on me. He didn't deny it. I don't feel ashamed of what I did, but I would have felt very guilty if he was innocent. If you have an inkling it's better to know. If I'd have asked him straight out, I know he would have lied to me. I didn't tell him how I'd done it but all my girlfriends knew and were very impressed. Lisa

There was something obviously that made you suspicious. I think that he is trying to make you feel guilty to take the blame off of him, and what he did. He was wrong for what he did.

I think that you followed you instincts and did what you had to do. I know it really would have sucked if you had been off but at least then you would have known, and you could put a little more faith in him in the future maybe. I think you did the right things even though you have conflicting feelings about it. I mean, the right choice isn't usually the easy one right? and would just asking him straight out have been the easy choice? Hope everything goes well for you.

you're wrong, he's wrong ...there is a breakdown of trust on both parties behalf and the real question is what are you both gonna do about it? Two wrongs never make a right, just because you did find something doesn't make your doing it right. If you would have found nothing would it still justify your actions? He betrayed you and you betrayed him now so it is probably just better to end the whole thing and move on. without trust there can be no love.

Three lefts might make a right, but two wrongs never will. Yes, you were wrong to invade his privacy. HE was wrong for betraying you. Now that that's clear... what's the next step? If it were me, I'd let him know straight up that I spied on him (no point in lying) out of suspicion, and I saw XYandZ, and I don't think this relationship can continue, since we obviously cannot trust each other.

It might show 'trust issues' on your behalf but all it proves is that you were right not to trust him. You needed to prove it to yourself one way or another and you did. I wouldn't feel remotely bad about that. The fact that you think you ought to feel guilty just convinces me you are a decent person who wouldn't have dreamed of invading his 'privacy' except for being pushed into it by the need to now for sure.

Nope, sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I'd say you're only wrong if you stay with the idiot.

you definately were not wrong in doing that especially if you had reason to believe anything was going on. he is a piece 'o' shit...id quit it. im sure you can find someone better who wont look at other woman. ;) goodluck.

I'm so sick of girls feeling bad about snooping... YES yes yes we all know it's 'wrong' and 'invasion of privacy' bla bla bla but it's NOTHING compared to the hurt and pain that is caused by cheating which guys STILL are doing as they always have and you don't see THEM feeling that bad about it! unless they are caught and then they just feel bad for themselves! Ok so not ALL men do it... but MOST have done or will do it!...YES sweeping statement...But TRUE! If you feel something is wrong, I say do whatever it takes to find out the truth if you feel they aren't telling you. Protect yourself! and go find someone you feel you DO trust!

MUST READ!!! http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/Why-Men-Cheat-and-What-We-Can-Do-to-Prevent-It.288389

Any relationship you are in where you feel the need to snoop around is obviously a broken one. It is tough to decide what actions are right or wrong. What maybe right to you could be wrong to him, vice versa. What was your objective. Did you want to get proof that he was cheating before you confronted him? From that point did you want to work things out and talk about your future? If you can say yes, than what you did in my eyes was not wrong. However if your intentions were not to try to work things out than its best that you should of just cut your losses short. Why bother snooping around, where trust is broken in a relationship -- there exists no more relationship. Look at your intentions, from there you can decide if you were right. http://www.thecheaterdetective.com Chase

You are asking the wrong question. It doesn't matter whether it was right or wrong - it's in the past and debating about it is not going to change the action. The question is....what do you do with the knowledge? I would confront him, ask him about the pics and move on from there. Don't play games.