If a guy is a former racist and was dating interracially, and later married that girl, would it be alright if he confessed to his partner of another race that he used to have racial tendencies, like in the past?
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ANSWERS: 14
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Shit...you should tell that stuff BEFORE you get married...aye!!!
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don't now love sorry
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i would hope that he would. some things are better left in the past, this is something that isn't. I think he should share that with her.
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Leave well alone, he has seen the silly error of his ways and corrected it..leave it in the past unless it is likely his past will come back to haunt him then he should get in there first :o)
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I think that if this person can't honestly tell his/her partner about their feelings without worrying about the partner being extremely upset, then that couple does not have the level of trust required to foster a healthy, long term relationship. That being said, this person should practice tact, timing, and prudence in telling his/her partner about such an issue.
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I think that is something that should be revealed prior to the marriage, actually. If not, it would sound like he had been hiding it, don't you think?
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dr.maxwell would probably think so
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I think it would be great because when you are in an interracial relationship you need to deal with all the racial stuff between eachother get it all out . that way when other people bring it up it won't hold as much weight you guys are so "over it".
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I would have told her soon after we got together and I knew I wanted to proceed with the relationship. Waiting until after the marriage is probably not the best move but even afterward he should tell her. It's far better she hears it from him and not someone else. That he chose to be with her should be proof enough that he's changed. If I were her it wouldn't bother me. I'd be rather proud of him.
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This seems like a pretty big thing to be keeping from your spouse. Especially if you have ever acted out on those feelings.
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Racism is usually based on being irrational and ill-educated on a matter. It is entirely possible to change from being racist to accepting simply by education and maturity. You can tell her you were and explain that you were immature at the time but have grown which, in a sense, is better than somebody who just is accepting because you've actually thought about it and realised how stupid racism is. I can't see how she can get very angry at you at all. It really depends on how racist you really were. If you made remarks to black people then that Racism is a form of bullying, I bet 90% of the population had been mean to somebody for being fat, ginger or something and matured enough to see how pointless it is. If you went around beating other ethnicties up then that could cause a problem and your only line of argument is that you've changed which is pretty damn evident by being with her.
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Yes honey, it would be best to confess. You can't keep secret in marriage.
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It depends on the woman. Some will be okay with it, some won't.
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Sounds like the opposite of Justin Volpe http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1140104
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