- NEW!
My mouth...I would scream loud and long.
by Johnnyonthespot on February 21st, 2008
Toliet brush... One with really stiff bristles so when you hit people with them it breaks the skin a lil and it has poo on it so they get sick.
by caffey4 on February 22nd, 2008
My butt after a visit to Taco Bell.
by MG1942 Has a Life Penguin on February 21st, 2008
A nice solid pen will poke a muthaf'er up real good:)
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on February 22nd, 2008
Your elbow, you always have it with you... :-)
by VIOLENT DAVE IS A VIKING PIMP on February 21st, 2008
I could beat them with my "Christmas Story" leg lamp! It would be a major prize for them!
by Zebulon on February 21st, 2008
Knitting needles!
by Nelson - Jetpacking from bed on February 21st, 2008
Pretty much everything can be used. I would say the most random thing I have used would be a lit cigarette.
by Shoes untied on July 8th, 2008
Chuck Norris
by Little Devil the Pumpkin King on September 1st, 2008
I would write all these answers down and use that paper to crush them
by Del Boy on September 1st, 2008
The wife
by kadykatt on July 3rd, 2008
a bowl of soup
by Killer X747 on November 5th, 2008
I could start poking people with waffles :D
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on July 3rd, 2008
One pissed off pussycat.
by LuckyLefty on July 8th, 2008
COTTON CANDY! Stuff that shit in someones nose :)
or eyes! :O
by Song-Wolf on July 3rd, 2008
A spork!! ok, it might now cause much damage against a person, but it would on food, just incase one day u find urself being attacked by a muffin.
by Anonymous on February 22nd, 2008
well, when me and my bro were younger and we used to get in fights, the first thing I would reach for was the broom.
It worked miracles
by Anonymous on February 22nd, 2008
A 24 ounce framing hammer would do the trick. A large pipe wrench would also do nicely .
by Mr. Trizzae on February 26th, 2009
full frontal male nudity
by vera city on January 10th, 2009
pitbulls, we have two. :D
by qwerty on December 23rd, 2008
My mind.
by veriria on September 1st, 2008
A bra strap is excellent for choking.
by LarryH54 on July 3rd, 2008
Screwdriver? Soldering iron? Heck, just slam your computer monitor over his head and electrocute him. [mine is old school.]
by Halskiisaklink on February 22nd, 2008
Pubic hair.
by Gizzy on July 8th, 2008
a paperclip =P
by The Chief on July 8th, 2008
What the heck do you mean by "the most random weapon you could use to protect yourself?"
By that definition, it's any weapon of opportunity, from your fingers to your toes and anything you can grab in time to be of use.
If you can get in close without risking serious injury or death (like most unarmed combat against untrained street thugs), it's hard to beat jambing your thumbs into the eyes as deeply as you can. By this I mean burying your thumbs in the eye sockets. Works good if they are the strong arm type who like to grab and squeeze.
Doesn't work against people trained to take you down, though. You'd never get the opportunity with a Marine.
Noise is probably the best weapon you have outside physical combat. The louder you are, the more unwanted attention you draw, so if you have to fight, feel free to yell and scream with your efforts. Most crimes are crimes of opportunity. Take the opportunity away and you likely take the crime away. And while you're at it, BREAK something of the attackers'. Foot bones are especially fragile to a good stomping. Grab a finger (the pinky) and TWIST until it snaps.
by needtoknow on July 3rd, 2008
The electric cord that's plugged into my laptop. Just get it around the back of the throat and squeeze, If i or my girls were in harms way.
by Jane on February 22nd, 2008
the electric guitar sitting next to me, i'm sure it could do some damage.
by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on February 21st, 2008
I own a lovely poison ring. . .no poison though, so that's out. The fire extinguisher in my car. That scared a would be parking lot perv off quite nicely. Heavy and fizzy! OK, now I really am going to bed. . .
by Faith on January 28th, 2009
a frozen sausage. or the occasional popsicle stick.
by Anonymous on January 27th, 2009
A pen works nicely,
OR your keys.....
Poke Poke Poke eyes first
by CookieCrackerBox on January 25th, 2009
One Christmas when I was younger I thought my house was being robbed because I heard a strange male voice downstairs and no one but me should have been home. I went to look for the BB gun my parents keep under their bed, but all I could find was a million Xmas wrapping paper tubes. So, armed with one I went downstairs to face the burglar. Turns out it was Leon Redbone (or however you spell his name, he has a Christmas carols cd). My mom had come home early and put it on.
by Constant Fluxation on January 10th, 2009
Ur mouse!!!
by Account Invalid on January 8th, 2009
A spork.
by Smart2 is back! Did you miss me? on December 23rd, 2008
aerosol anything - particularly hair spray - along with a nice Bic lighter!
by Sanguine Visions is wearing ninja garbs on December 22nd, 2008
A folded gum wrapper, I actually cut myself with one. Be hilarious actually seeing someone use that as a weapon though. "Stand back and take this... gum wrapper? Like a man!" Don't tell me that's not funny if someone screamed that...
by purplecows on July 3rd, 2008
Maxwell Smart had a hot-iron duel in a Chinese laundry
a cell phone?
a well-thrown or well-swung bicycle could do some damage
boomerangs and yo-yos started as weapons, rumor says
paper cuts?
a turkey baster, full of garlic juice?
by laffinfeline on July 3rd, 2008
My boyfriends mean little Chihuahua! Seeing he'll attack me just for walking past him or climbing into bed I figure why won't he go after someone else?
by aquaholic on July 3rd, 2008
my brains! ;-)
by Dmitri on July 3rd, 2008
My keychain that I have around my neck. I have 3 keys on it, and I can hold one of them and sling the others around david and goliath style. What is more, my name is actually david, and while my height is average, I could be said to be short!
by Genanmer on July 3rd, 2008
A kitchen sink
by loveschimps on February 21st, 2008
fireplace poker
by Cognition aka Cog on January 28th, 2009
I would like to have a hand held stun gun.
by pocco on January 25th, 2009
Our Justice System???? Na, that only protects the rights of the accused. Sorry, for the mixup, had a brain---t!!!
by Ec-nal Licensed Bootie Inspector on January 10th, 2009
Weedwhacker yo...
by Angelface on January 10th, 2009
Lollipop, fits nicely in the palm of the hand.
by Chingles on December 22nd, 2008
whack someone's head with my mouse
by Esteban-- Smartest Pumpkin on September 1st, 2008
my two feet, I can egress quickly
by SerraM on July 3rd, 2008
my cat's scratching post...wood base with a thiegh high pillar in the center...grab the base make a blitz at the person and jam it into their gut
by Yarnlady is happy every day on July 3rd, 2008
Teeth, I bite.
Do you need an export license for stun guns in the United States?
by Answerbag Staff on August 12th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Can a minor wear a bulletproof vest?
by Answerbag Staff on July 21st, 2010
| 1 person likes this
I'm coming after you!!!!! What's your weapon of choice to fight me!?!?!
by trrulz on November 1st, 2011
| 13 people like this
Is pepper spray legal in New York City?
by Answerbag Staff on July 22nd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
If a burglar was climbing in through your bedroom window, would you punch him in the face and let him fall to the ground?
by Kenz the Frenz on December 26th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
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Comments
lol :)
by Cyndi Ninja on February 21st, 2008
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH....just practicing:)
by Babycakes on February 21st, 2008
Ok..earmuffs on. You may proceed :)
by Cyndi Ninja on February 21st, 2008
Good one! :-)
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on February 22nd, 2008
Thanks OORAH:) In my dreams I can't scream I hope in real life I can.
And I love your profile and we agree 100%...you'll see me waving the red,white and blue every day. Thank you for all you've done and for the service of your family.....I am standing and cheering!!!
by Babycakes on February 22nd, 2008
Thanks Babycakes: As far as the country is concerned, I just hope that McCain can beat back the Democratic onslaught... :-)
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on February 22nd, 2008
That is what me and my friends are hoping for too:)
by Babycakes on February 22nd, 2008
Good for you!
Semper Fi!
by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on February 22nd, 2008
A very loud whistle. I find it easier than a scream when my vocal cords freeze. Found out the hard way when I got mugged. Haven't had to test the whistle both to my delight and dismay.
by trailegs on January 11th, 2011