Sometimes its easier to make up a lie than answer to the truth.

Why do you talk to him at all? All it does is get you upset. I'd tell him......sorry, wrong #.

My husband left me a month ago he said it was nothing to do with his friend he had met for three months he lied and met her in secret now he is living with her I feel so hurt and abondoned and I dont understand we hve been together for 30 years and married for 20 we have two girls 14 and 16 when will he stop telling our friends we just seperated and when will I ever get over this

Can I just say that the torture of lies is all consuming. we want the truth - we deserve the truth, as mums, wives, long-tern girlfriends. The situation is this. The truth hurts (we all know this unless we are really ready to accept it) but it is lies that destroy people. I asked my husband to leave as he threatened to cut me up into pieces while holding a knife in his hand, shaking with fury. I had done nothing, but he wanted out. OUr marriage had been shaky from the start and he was abusive (verbally) throughout. I was a single mum when I met him, but I was also successful, independent, happy, great social circle. He had always had issues and when we became involved, I wanted my relationship to work. He developed a drug habit, and said that this was a good 'time waster'. To cut a very long story short, he would try to argue constantly. He got himself arrested, is known at work (we worked in the same place) as high maintenance and spoke to me terribly, but I turned a blind eye. Then, a new woman started at work. I know he made a play for her. In May 2007 while at home with friends, he attacked me. The following day, I asked him to leave. He begged and begged to come home, and like a fool for my children (we had had a daughetr together) I took him back in the october. He wanted to leave 2 days later. He did come back but he never forgave me for asking him to leave. We went on holiday over the xmas, and it was just awful. He was a bully to me and my son. In january 2008 after the knife incident I asked him to leave, and he went straight to his work colleague. I have seen the phone bills. In answer to your question, my ex refused to pay the mortgage on our home (well, his 50%) and I had to pay it. He maintained he was living in rented accommodation, but I was told this was not the case. He maintained he was living alone. BUT, he was leaving 'clues' for me to pick up on. I was told that he was in this new relationship with his work colleague and I confronted them both - both denied it (I advise against this strongly - do NOT ask the new partner, he will have pre-empted her with what to say). I got a private detective who confirmed that he was living with her. Yousee, even in the face of evidence, he will lie. There will be some financial reason, or a lie he has told to her, or to continue his nastiness on you - remember he knows you inside out and he knows it will be doing your head in. If you have children, he may be lying because he wont want to be responsible for the break-up of your marriage (or to be seen that way) he may also not be too certain if his new relationship will work out (affairs are different to the stark reality of being with someone full on) EITHER WAY - IT IS OVER. WHat helped me (and it is nigh on identical to yours) is to walk away. Have dignity. Dont live just around the corner. While you are there he knows what you are doing, too. Believe. He will be telling her a whole pack of lies about you. If he can lie to youover where he is living, he will be telling her so much crap to vindicate him on leaving a marriage (we, as women, including her, would have alarm bells ringing on someone who gave up on their marriage without trying as we all know one day he may do the same). There are many reasons why men lie to cover their backsides. WHat he has done has been abhorent and you as a human being deserve closure. You may never get it from your ex but you dont need to. You can do this yourself. I will just say though that the most probable reason is financial. Speak to a solicitor. He has no allegiance toward you anymore and only toward this woman. Face it - I know it hurts. I have been tormnting myself re this for 12 months. 12 months is a year and we all dont have too many of them. My soon to be ex fits all the traits of narcissistic behaviour but not too sure if I am just labelling him to help my own recovery. Either way, your ex has unceremoniously discarded you and you will NEVER get the truth, only his version of it. Ask yourself this - if your best friend came to you with a similar concern, what would you advise? there is your answer. The best of luck x

IN addition to lying being easier, there may be legal reasons attached to any divorce proceedings that he is doing this. Check with your attorney on that one.

Many men PRETEND to be men, when really they are selfish, egocentric, childish adolescents (redundant, I know:) who are past feeling. A real man does not lie. If he lies, especially about something so hurtful and so destructive to the spouse and especially the children, then he is something far, far less than a man.......

Because he's a dingus & is probably trying to hedge his bets.

Well, why are women fickle and pretentious? Blame it on nature.

I don't lie... So please; don't judge all men... :( Look, men do lie sometimes, and sometimes they don't say anything because they either think it's harmless or know it's harmful and don't want to hurt who they're lying to by telling the truth... Honestly, not to be rude, but the road goes both ways, as women lie too... But, not all women lie, as is the same for men. I'm sorry if you have to go through something like this... :( My only advice is to confront him if you don't trust him... Maybe they are just friends, and I do hope that's all they are... Don't always think the worst... Approach life's little annoyances with a smile on your face. :D Hope this helps... Also, I hope things aren't as bad as they seem... :D

because he is lieing to himself 1st off, he is not being true to himself or you and until he gets honest, this chick won't work either

Hi, Because he wants his cake & eat it too! Plus the fact he is waiting to see if this relationship takes him somewhere! He is not sure if he loves her or vica vera. He is waiting for validation in his relationship with her before he makes his decision with you. I know I am in the same boat! My relationship of 11 yrs is actually at this moment slipping through my fingers & there is absolutly nothing I can do about it. He went on holiday with friends this summer & I had to stay home & work. He had to share a room with his old friend of 20 yrs & bingo!. Since he has been back I had a gut feeling that something was not right. I confronted him & finally he spilt the beans over a period of 1 months where he has been sleeping on the sofa one night out of 7 & the rest he was sleeping with her. Then finally he told me it was Ingrid & since left me to be with her but he has still not decided on his decision about us. He has left for a month to supossedly think about our relationship but told me yesterday he is still seeing her & fancied each other since a long time. I feel a crushed bird on the street right now. I love this guy so much, I have so much pain. I have images of them making love together & I am trying to get it out of my head. I am going crazy I do not know what to do.

He is lying to keep the door open. He is keeping his options open. He is not responsible. He does not feel guilty when he is with her, lets face it, she is guilty also. He feels guilty when he is with you because you do not deserve it. No one does. If he was truly sorry he would end it, seek help for the reason he did it. And try to work things out. I say give yourself some time, when you are ready make your decision to wait for him or move on with your life. No guarentee he will come back. Or that he won't do it again. I am going thru it as well. I know it does not help. But a friend told me this today and it did help to see what I already knew from a different perspective. The pain will take some time to heal. People who do these things have no empathy for others. They are selfish and live only in the moment. I asked my husband where did he see himself in 10 years? Would he be with her? He said @#$$ NO! That shows that he does not care about either of us! It is sad but very true. I feel sorry for her in a way as well. She thinks she has the upper hand, in reality she only has an illusion. You are in my prayers.

because he's a liar and you surely wouldn't expect someone who lied to you many times before to start telling the truth now would you? But why do you care? He cheated on you, lied to you and then left you..who cares what he does or who he is with, all that matters is he's out of your hair and from the sound of it you should just thankfully say good riddence and be done with it all.

Maybe because if you divorce him for infidelity instead of just for separation then you will get a better deal in court? Maybe because he thinks he can fool your family and his that he left you in an 'honourable' way and wasn't the slimeball? Sounds like he thinks you are really stupid - and that's shows how ignorant he is. Lucky escape for you.

My question is, why aren't YOU moving on? Can you move? Are you dating? What do you need to do to get on with your life, i.e. change your phone #, get involved with healthy interests.

He can't face the truth on what he did to you...Divorce and take everything...

Wake up Girl.... Been there done that!

Men lie because he do not like to look at you got worry because of the situation, Eventhought He lie, he has a feeling to touch his heart that he hurt you because of him and that he do not like most because all he has from his heart is only the sympathy. But maybe you've than something wrong that make the man change his feelings. Girls are selfish that's why having that kind of attitude you are burning your husband to get away in your life. Sometimes the wife the one pushing thier husband to put into trap. We are only human we need freedom so why we have to suffer in fire and yet we can move on into it. Live life to the foolish.

yes, men are the only liars. my (soon to be) ex wife has told me all sorts of lies including ones about conversations with her family which do not advantage her to make these lies in any way. she has not spoken to her family since running away in june... I speak with her family regularly.

He may one day want to get back with you and if you know the truth that may ruin his plan. But he needs to man up and handle the situation right.

We lie because we dont want to hurt others, depending on the lie of course. Sometimes its an act of kindness to lie, even though most people think of it as a deceptive and very cruel thing to do. There is no such thing as a real man, theres only different types of men. If he didnt care about u, would he lie? probably not. He wouldnt put the effort into lying. Or maybe hes so hateful he knows u know hes lying and hes just trying to hurt u more.

my husband also lied when he left me after 21 years of marriage, he told me he wanted to be single but we all knew the truth he left for another woman. He still thinks he has done nothing wrong but tells everyone i was terrible wife when all i did was be a good mum and wife. My husband always told me he couldnt live without me and then all of a sudden done a 360 and is wwith this other thing so called woman. We have 3 children and 2 of them are adults and they are finding it the hardest to accept as the way they see it is there dad left his family for another family. He left 2 months ago and i have my good days and bad days. I still love him but now is a different kind of love as he betrayed our marriage and family. I hope he is never happy and falls flat on his face. Be strong, I know we will be able to get through this, I know its hard as it is only fresh for me but we will not die without them, women are stronger than men and men cant do anything on there own where as for us women we have a lot of strength. Men are selfish and only think of themselves not even there children as my husband cant be bothered with our kids. What a loser, he will lose as this so called woman has a bad history.

my husband also lied to me and left me and the kids for another woman after 21 years of marriage. He is a coward and still cant admit the real reason he left, he tells people he left cause i was a bad wife but all his friends and family know the truth as we had a great relationship in every way, so he just keeps trying to justify what he has done. We have 3 kids and 2 of them are adults and they are full aware as y he left and r very dissapointed in him as he left his family for another family, as she has 2 sons from 2 previous relationships. I did want him back and if he came back now i dont know what i would say as it has been 2 months and i have my good days and bad days. As my friend said to me its not him i am missing its the companionship. Well I have come to realise that some men are cowards as I know my husband is a coward as he still cant tell the truth about anything. We dont really have any communication only when it comes to our 11 year old son who has downs syndrome and he is finding it really hard that his dad doesnt come home everyday and be a dad, as my son has been out with his dad and his whore and her kids and he has been upset as he doesnt spend quality time with him. Well all i can say karma karma karma...be strong

Cut the cord already. This guy is a loser. Why give your power to this? Move on and don't worry what the hell he is doing.

sexy time superbowl champ, sounds like you have an ego problem.

He is not a worthy man. The woman he is with now will receive that same type of behavior from him. Since he is now on to his next victim, it is time for you to get him out of your life. Be your own best friend. You do not deserve to have someone who lifes and cheats. The faster you can get him out of your life, the faster you can move on to better relationships. I agree with a comment made earlier by Ajb.... true wisdom. You could trust him again, so don't let him anchor you in the situation. Let him lie to himself and see where it gets him.

See a lawyer. Let the lawyer find out why he's lying.