My dad has been growing violent over the past year to a alarming point.He drinks more and their is some physical abuse.I don't want him to go to jail or anything but he scares me, what should I do?
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Aero the lifeguard
ANSWERS: 11
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Sounds like the drinking is the problem. When your dad is sober, talk to him and let him know how you feel. Tell him you love him, but you're scared -- of him and for him! Try to get him into counseling or AA. And, for the rest of the family, find a Al-Anon or Al-Ateen meeting to attend, or go to family counseling together.
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Understand that he is suffering. His suffering is his fault, but know that he is delusional in his suffering, he probably doesn't realize it is his fault. Alcohol can effect a person in ways where the user does not realize that he is acting irrationally. He needs to accept responsibility and take control of his actions. Be understanding of his condition, know that deep down he does love you. I strongly suggest contacting another family member if you have any near by and ask if you can move in for a while. Explain to them that you are frightened by your fathers behavior. You do not have to tell them that he physically abused you, but it is better to tell them if is the deciding factor of your stay with your relatives. You don't want to press charges, but from and understanding perspective, you should tell him that you are concerned about him. Ask him to get involved in AA. if you have younger siblings, get them out too. Physical abuse is not acceptable. If you cannot get out, and if his physical abuse continues, I say to use the last resort and call the cops, but try to find family who will help first.
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Make him trade his alcoholism for religion. Once he does that, his violence won't be senseless, random and unjustified and will then be accepted, condoned and justified by the good book
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Stay away from him when he is drunk. Dont worry about not being there for him while he isnt sober, you dont have to do that. You cant stop the drinking problem, but you can tell him that every time he will get drunk you will be at a friends house or busy. Tell him not to worry...thats what i did when i was a kid, and when he used to call me i never picked up my phone, the next morning he wouldnt even remember and if he did i would just tell him...You were drunk, again...
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im sorry your in this situation, i feel for you. just stay away from him when he's drunk, or getting drunk. their isn't much more you can do in my opinion.
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sounds like he has some issues with his life he has difficulty talking about. so he drinks to numb the pain or the thought. maybe he thinks he should see a doctor for some kind of physical problem. maybe he cant get it up any more. maybe he thinks he has cancer somewhere in his body and he cant deal with it. drinking is just a symptom of another more important issue. maybe he feels like he is getting old and cant handle it. perhaps you and he could plan an outting and go and do something. maybe he needs some new underwear. or maybe he needs to see a dentist. or maybe you could go to dinner somewhere, somewhere there isnt any alcohol. in and out burger and just talk man to man about your problems ... you share, he shares. . it is now eight months later, how is the old guy doing?
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Call the police. NOW! It is the only way to get him assigned to the counseling he needs. Yes, this might require him to go to prison eventually - but if he is abusing others, that's where he should be.
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It sounds to me like he couldn't possibly be happy with his life. Someone needs to step up and get him help, and that person should be you since you obviously love your father. Calling the cops isn't a bad thing all the time, they will get your father the help he needs. We were forced to call the police on one of my dear friends because he had a breakdown and they didn't even put him in jail. They tested him and got him the medical treatment he needed. Cops don't just show up and toss people in jail for everything. Help your dad out and help him get his life back on track. It's the best thing you can do for him.
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There are different things that you can do and many are answered already...if you have siblings at home and you are not...take them in....if it is your mom offer your home as a safe haven for her but she is an adult and has to make her decisions...your father...only talk to him when he is sober...maybe bringing in family may help...and if it does get violent, don't hesitate to call in the authorities...sitting in jail may make him realize he is hurting everyone when it starts to hurt him...
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He needs Jesus.
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If he isn't listening to you, then get the authorities involved. Prison will shock him out of it.
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