Are there people in your life who you feel you should forgive, but honestly have no desire to?
by 
FauxLo
ANSWERS: 9
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NO, if I felt I should, I would. The desire to forgive usually comes from the need to unload the weight of holding onto unimportant things!
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The trick to forgiving is that when you do, you do it for yourself and not for them. It is purely for your own benefit so that you can move on and let go of the past. If you never forgive then you may end up dragging the past around and into the present. This is pointless and serves no purpose at all - whatever happened, however bad, however long it happened for, it is over and done with and cannot ever be changed or resolved any further - you can't go backwards and do things differently. The only things you can change are the things that are happening now, in the present. So with this in mind, when you forgive, you don't literally say to the person 'I forgive you' - it's not about letting them 'off' lightly, trivialising their wrong doings or condoning their behaviour - forgiving is nothing to with them, it is all about you. You do it for yourself, so that you can move on and close that chapter of your life. This does not mean you will forget and nor should you - if there is a lesson to be learned, then learn it - that is the only thing you take with you when you forgive somebody.
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No. Forgiving someone is not for their benefit, but for yours. It relieves the burdens that you carry. I forgive eventually.
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I know there are people that I should forgive, for my own benefit and peace of mind, but I really cannot bring myself to do so. I am a very unforgiving person.
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There sure is.
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No. If I have not forgiven them, there is a reason. I do not hold hate without a very good reason. Not forgiving does not burn a hole in me like it does in some. I do not suffer from it so there is no reason for me to work towards forgiving the few I deem unforgivable.
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Those who could be forgiven were and the rest I have no desire to forgive,
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I could say my sister, 'cause she acted the fool when my mom had a stroke and had to go into a nursing home. She moved into my mom's house and everything went to crap. Lost the house because of it. But to "forgive" someone, you must first create a grievance against them, then CHOOSE to carry negative (cancerous) feelings within you about them, THEN pretend you no longer feel that negativity AS IF you're doing THEM a favor. Much easier not to find fault at all and simply acknowledge that whatever the situation, the person did the best they were able to do at the time; therefore, there's nothing to find fault with AND nothing to "forgive". Even with that, I still have no contact with my sister. Go figure...!
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I've been told that I should forgive people, mostly because it was "unchristian" for me not to. This is part of why I no longer go to church! I'm not going to get into specifics here because those parts of my personal life are personal (unless you're an in-the-flesh friend). These aren't trivial things, though. There are laws against what happened to me. (I didn't press charges, though I should have and regret that now.)
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