What are some facts about Chuck Norris?
by 
Aero the lifeguard
ANSWERS: 11
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He is an actor,he does martial arts.
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Chuck Norris is a double-hard b*ast*rd
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He has a fist hehind his beard He saved us from an asteroid He ended ww2 And he can kick the shit out of Jackie Chan
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He endorses the Total Gym workout system. He was on Walker, Texas Ranger. He has his own bobble head.
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He is not Richard Simmons He does not wear a jetpack. It is unknown if he likes bacon or not....;-D...
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He's older than Sylvester Stallone..
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- Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost. - Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told. - Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. - We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. - Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times. - Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. - Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples. - Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius. - Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.
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Ok I just spent 30 minutes thinking up these original sentences. Since we know the answer to everything is Chuck Norris, the following statements must be true: When Chuck Norris casts his ballot, it counts for all the electoral votes. He just likes to be fair when giving the majority to the man who has the best boots. The Roundhouse Kick was actually called the Square Kick before Chuck Norris kicked it into submission. Chuck Norris owns 146,000 acres of lemon trees from Alaska to Maine. He single-handedly drinks all the lemonade (without sugar); therefore fooling the rest of the US into believing lemons can't grow in the snow. In the wilderness of Louisiana during the American Civil War, 12,000 Union soldiers attacked Chuck Norris. None of them survived to tell the tale, but you can see the imprint of his boot on a map to this very day. When Chuck Norris demonstrates his Roundhouse Kick, the shear speed creates a super-heated vortex, combining all matter in the vicinity into a green glowing rock. We call this object Kryptonite.
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He's kinda fugly.
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Here are a few of my favorites from chucknorrisfacts.com If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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My favorite is... In "Return of the Dragon" Bruce Lee broke the neck and killed the character Colt played by Chuckie.
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