Just be a good listener -- she'll let you know what she's OK talking or not talking about. Treat it like you would a death in the family...

Treat her like you would want to be treated if your best friend moved away and you couldn't talk to them anymore or like your dog just died... a baby is way more important but i would just be really sensitive...

Ive been through far too many tragedies.. lol. Anyway. Try to refrain from the puppy dog eyed look that alot of people plaster on their faces as an attempt to be sympathetic.. And try your best not to be awkward.. the last thing on her mind is how to make you feel more at ease with the subject. Another thing people try to be is up front about how they feel. "I really dont know what to say" "I dont know what to do since i have never been in this situation" "I dont know what to do to cheer you up" Because that focuses the attention on you.. you.. and you. Just be there with open arms. And dont think that she doesnt want to talk about it. Ask questions. Talk back.. dont just nod.. and occasionally say 'yeah'... because thats a persons first reaction to a situation like that. Refrain from saying 'im sorry' more than once. Say it once.. and then leave that little phrase elsewhere.. Dont try to cheer her up. It will feel like she is being forced to get over her loss.. which hurts.. alot. So just do things that might cheer her up.. but dont EXPECT her to. Its a big thing thats happened to her.. and it will take a lifetime to get over. Hope everything will go well. ~+~

I guess that there is not really alot that you can say to help her, i had a miscarriage myself about 8 months ago and i found that ppl fussing over me just made me worse, the best thing you can do and to not talk about it unless she brings it up first and then just be a good listener. She is probably thinking that it was because of something that she did but miscarriages happen because of some deformation with the feotus and your body tries to fight against it and sometimes it just does not win. So next pregnancy everything might be heaps better and no problems. Imagine how hard it would be raising a child that has some major health issues ... i dont even want to begin to imagine it !!

Just be there. If she wants to talk, shut up and listen. Don't try to fill every silent void with sound. If she's tired, offer to go to her home to help her around the house. Make yourself available to her and I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

After I had my miscarriage, I wanted to talk about it. Most people avoided that subject like the plague. I think the best thing you can do is listen to her and let her talk about it as much or as little as she wants. There is no way to make it easier on her. Just be there for her and let her know that she has a friend who cares.

I don't know much about this, but besides the obvious grieving, there are sudden hormonal changes as her body adjusts to not being pregnant. Help her to be grateful for what she has, and it may help a little. Sometimes there is some guilt over "What if I had done this differently?" that is similar to a child going through a parent's divorce. She should know it is not her fault. Comfort her, but also give her space to heal. That is all I know.

I had a miscarriage about 4yrs ago, and I did want to talk about it, but I didn't want ppl to ask, sounds rude but I had to deal with it in my own way and when the time was right I opened up. I hated the I am so sorry, but it happened for a reason, I don't care what the reason was I just lost a little person. The worst was ppl that didn't know asking how the pregnancy is going, which is why now I don't ask until they bring it up first..

There are no words in this situation - it is like somebody died but you didn't get chance to know them. You don't say how far along your friend was but assuming she had got to the stage where she had accepted that she was pregnant and felt that she was going to have a baby she now has to accept that she isn't. I had a miscarriage 19 years ago and the memory still wells up enormous emotion and I still consider that a member of my family is missing. For years I felt that it was unfinished business until a couple of years ago I had a tarot reading. My friend reading the cards referred to a child lost all those years before and told me he was fine and with relatives - she set me off big time; floods of tears and a great sense of relief then she told me that I had never said goodbye properly and told me of a small ceremony which would help me. Now I am not suggesting for one second that anyone who has suffered the loss of miscarriage should rush off to get a reading and it'll all be okay but I think even without that I would have felt better following her instructions: Take a small piece of paper and write down what you feel, what you would have said if you had the chance. Get some dried flower petals and place these in a bowl with your goodbye note. Light three candles (tealights)around the bowl in a triangle - one behind the bowl and one either side. Light the message and sit quietly thinking about the little one while it burns, when the last candle has gone out take the bowl outside and let the ashes drift away on the breeze. I felt extremely calm and as if I had completed the task - I stop grieving (like you eventually do when someone older dies)but of course I will never forget. I think just writing the note might help.....

I never had one but from knowing those who had I can tell you that one thing to never say is 'get over it'. how many times women heard that and it really hurt them. it is something that a woman never really gets over. just make sure that you see her a couple times a week and be her friend. wait for her to bring it up, otherwise discuss things like you would have before. i think the most important thing you can do is just be the good friend you have been all along, don't try to be different.

Whenever someting happend to me that was upsetting, I would try to talk to the colsest person to me which was my boyfriend. But he never wanted to listen. He would always say something like "I dont want to know about all that!" It would always upset me because I HAD to go THROUGH it and he didnt even want to LISTEN to what I had to go through! So I would say the best thing to do right now is just be there for her, let her talk to you as much as she needs to-even if she does go into some detail that you just dont want to hear-she went through this stuff, the least you could do is listen! You could also talk to her, ask her questions about it. This will make her feel like you really want to know and she will feel more comfortable about the whole situation. And also, remember this-everthing happens for a reason! I learned in 1 of my several baby classes I was in, that a miscarriage is a way the her body is letting a child go that has something going wrong with it. More then likely, something was not developed right so the body let it go. Good Luck!!!