My husband tries to be intimate but i keep pushing him away lately. I feel terrible because he is a great husband, but i just don't feel like having sex with him.I just told him how i felt. Now he is ignoring me and won't talk about it. What should i do?
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 12
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This is a serious question and dilemma. Apparantly you love your husband, but something has driven the sexual urge from you. I might check with the doctor, an OBGYN, and also a psychologist. It's good that you tried to talk to your husband; and it's understandable that he doesn't want to talk about it. He is frightened, he doesn't know where this may lead--is it the end of the marriage?; do you have a lover? There must be many questions racing through his mind--and he really doesn't want to hear the answers. My first impulse is always to keep the family or marriage together. I would go to a marriage counselor too; even if you must go alone. Eventually, your husband may come too. You might also think about making love to your husband even though you are not drawn to it. Sometimes the act itself can bring back those old feelings of passion. And, remember making love with your husband doesn't always have to produce fireworks. Sometimes you can just make love for love's sake.
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hi, although i am not married i am going through something similar. luckily my partner is very understanding and does not push but i know deep down hes hurting same as i would be if its him not wanting sex!! i push and push him away then 1 day i go what the hell, y not?! and i enjoy it and think y do i refuse sex? but the cycle continues! i agree with seeing a doctor as it could be hormonal imbalance, is there any other marrage troubles? do you find him attractive? do you enjoy it when you are having sex? you could go to sex theropy to get your sex life 'better' and more enjoyable
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To look up for medical and professional help !
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I think your situation is pretty common. Sometimes we marry the wrong person, sometimes we just lose the desire and it has nothing to do with your partner. Do you masturbate or have sexual thoughts about others? Or, do you simply have no desire. Sometimes medications can restrict desire, too. If you honestly love your husband, but just have no desire, don't just ignore him sexually. Use your hand and help him out, that may get you excited, too. Or, snuggle with him while he masturbates. Just don't cut him off completely. That can lead to a bigger problem. I agree with the others, it may be time to talk to a professional. Good luck!
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Maybe you need more emotional stimulation from your husband to bring back your desire for intimacy. Sex starts in the mind and if your mind is being seduced and excited, then your physical desires will start to grow. I'm sure now your husband feels rejected and probably thinks he's the reason you're not interested in sex anymore. Men have very delicate ego's and you have to be careful about what you say to them and how you say it, including body language. On the average most men express their emotions through intimacy and not so much with words. So, when you reject intimacy with your husband, you're denying his desire to express his love towards you.
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Imagine he told you that he can't stand to have sex with you and now he wants to elaborate on why. You have to convince him that the problem is you and not him. That's they only way to keep this from getting stuck in his head forever that the only person he is supposed to have sex with doesn't want to have sex with him. That leaves him with few options that are good for the marriage. Good husbands are hard to come by and easy to lose. Trust me, if he's a good man, there are thousands of women out there who will make sure he knows they want him as a husband and a lover.
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I would personaly seek some professional help either with counselor or minister. There could be a reason why you dont wont to have sex with him. But I would keep the communications open with your husband.
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if you keep it up he might cheat and he might fall for that person cause i know it would affect me deeply if my wife told me that. we are suppose to satisfy each other no matter how we feel. i still give my wife what she needs when i don't feel like it and she does the same for me. think about what you got married for----to be together forever and if you keep it up you will drive him away physically and emotionally. men have an inner feeling of being wanted just like women
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Get some help or he may start to believe you don't love him. Once that happens, the marriage could be in trouble.
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I think that you should stop waiting to "feel like it". I often say yes when I would prefer to say no, but I just "act as if" I want to, initially, and then I am almost always very pleased that I did. :-) I think it is not just a "feels good" sort of thing when men want to be sexual with their wives. I figure that my husband is with me until death do us part, so I want to make him feel wanted and needed and desired. I see that our marriage suffers when we don't make time for sex.
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What you have said to him is that he is not attractive to you, and you don't want him. So much so that you don't even want him touching you. That's kind of a relationship killer. What can you do? Your only shot is to convince him it's a medical problem outside your control.
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My husband comes to me with dirty smells and dirty hands(he has big nails). I told him many times to be clean himself, but he doesn't listen. He always keeps his very smelly and dirty (he keeps everything dirty too). That's why I keep pushing him away all the time, It makes me sick all the time. Why is he coming to me like that? is he having sex with any sluts and just act or shows like he is interested in sex with me?
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