ANSWERS: 4
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In my opinion, no, it isn't okay. I am glad to hear he didn't risk jail time with you but do you realize that no matter how mature you are, if he is seeking the company of an 18-year-old then something is developmentally wrong with him? The other possibility is that he wants you sexually and is wise enough to wait until you are of legal age. In ten years he will be ready for retirement while you will be reaching your peak as a woman. A good rule of thumb is: 1/2 a person's age + 7 is the minimum age he should date. That formula works out to about 30 for him. You are just at totally different parts and times of life.
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I agree. I think these situations almost always come back to the daddy-daughter thing. It seems to be very much so about control. He is more experienced in life in many ways. You don't need him to be a weird dad thing. You need a legitimate boyfriend. I guess what you think is right for you is, but if you really thought this was right you wouldn't be asking the people on this web site. It just seems like the kind of thing that the person in your position will get really hurt and used.
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he was 9 year older than u are now when you were born so i would say no becos 3 years ago you weren't legally allow to have sex
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I am not sure it is ok for you, but I can't judge. At your age I got involved with a 41 year old man. I loved him very much. He, too, refused to have sex with me for a long time. It was me who pursued him. Ultimately, once the relationship started to get physical, it wasn't the sex that was the problem. It was that I did feel peculiarly vulnerable because he had so much more life experience than me. There is an imbalance there. But at the same time, in some ways that intensified the relationship. I don't regret it at all, I had a stage where I felt slightly used and abused because I felt I was too young, but ultimately I think he was vulnerable too, because he was so much older. There can be a two way street of vulnerability going on with relationships with a large age difference. You might find him less callous than a guy your own age. Ultimately, it is your decision. I don't see it as exploitation, although I do see a risk of you getting hurt. Just be careful. Speaking for myself, I am glad it happened.
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