I agree with you Dbd that it should not be an issue either way, it is the person, not their past that we are getting to know or loving for who they are :o)

The only time I had a problem with it was when I was a virgin too. Very intimidating to be a virgin and dating someone who isn't. Of course, being 16, everything seemed much more important than it really was. After that, yes, I agree with you. I'd much rather have someone with experience. I dated a virgin once and the sex was pretty forgettable.

Shouldn't be an issue should it? I guess some people think of it as damaged goods...of course those that think that are just morons.

Well, to give your virginity to your partner should be the one gift that no one else in your entire life should ever have. That goes for both men and women, and it should never be taken for granted.

I don't know. But my experience with this obliterated me.

Hmm, well...it was never an issue in my life. maybe some people just enjoy creating drama around themselves...that or they watch too much tv.

its like choosing from a canned sardines and a fresh catch... which would be more enticing?! i myself would prefer an experienced woman but occasionally would like that fresh catch.

Let Captain Kirk go where no man has gone before. I need a mate who has matured emotionally and experienced physically. I'm far too impatient to have ANY desire to break another mate in. The big deal is the taboo with premarital sex, professing that your virginity is the only thing you really have give your mate as a gift. I say, give your mate a necklace instead and then bite her neck and pull her hair. Let me make myself very clear in saying that I do admire and applaud people with the discipline and the fortitude to maintain virginity for their mate. I am merely saying that I lack these virtues.

I met my future husband when I was 17. I was a virgin when I met him & he made it clear that if I wasn't he never would've married me because he wanted the mother of his children to be innocent

I guess it just depends on the guy, i had a virgin once, she was nice and tight, but it hurt so much she was so tight, but then she turned into this nympho, this other girl had only been with one guy, and i couldn't even touch her she would freak out so much, i like women with some experience, doesn't have to be no hoe, but someone who knows what's she's doing and knows how to get off, both herself, and ME!

you get to a certain age were virgins are pretty much out of the picture. however, a pulse is good.

It arose with the advent of patriarchal society. In order for the male to be certain a baby was his, access to the female had to be limited. After all, when a baby is born, it's plain who the mother is. But before DNA testing, no one could be 100% sure of the father.

Personally, I would prefer a virgin Da ben dan, simply because I know she hasn't had another man in her before. Yuk. I don't mind if a woman said she wanted a man to be a virgin either. It's not only a question of ethics (yes, I'm old fashioned, but don't get old-fashioned values confused with sexism---I'm not being sexist here), but a question of health. A virgin has less chance of harbouring a contagious sexual disease. But that's only my preference, like me disliking chocolate and preferring vanilla. Having sex outside marriage these days is so commonplace, that NOT doing it is highly unusual indeed, and a lot of people tend to come down on virgins and the idea of virginity because they themselves do not have enough discipline and self-respect to preserve it for themselves. It's not virgins who have a 'problem', but the current state of society and the majority in it that do.

Most men fear that if they take a woman's virginity than that woman will be emotionally attached to them for quite some time. They don't want to run the risk of the woman's being clingy to them or experiencing emotional changes. Also, the good guys, know that it is something a woman can only have once and when it is gone they can never have it back. they want to make absolute sure that the woman wants to give it to them before they take it!

I'm not exactly sure, but i would bet its got a LOT to do with ego. the fact that no other man has been there before, pretty much the same reason we went to the moon yeah?! i'm with you on the experiance thing, but mostly cuz if your with a virgin, you always kinda worry that he will want to go out and experience more... but with a virgin there is something sepcial about the fact that he will remember you forever? thats just my take on it anyway. good question.

I know this guy who only wants virgins because it ensures he won't get STIs according to him. Maybe that's why other guys want virgins, too.

i'm 17, 18 in july, and i am still a virgin but i have done everything else, i want to save my virginity for someone special, i know that it is cliche but that is how i feel. i hear comments like "i'd do her if she wasn't a virgin" by the men that just want a quick one, the guys that care, the virginity thing is not a problem and they are always very understanding. and for some men they like the fact that i am a virgin, so they can be "the first". personally i believe that it matters to those who just want a quickie, and the ones who think that the virgin wont know if they are bad in bed or not as it is the first. if it's anyone worth sleeping with, it wont matter

Article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginity

It's a double standard sort of thing. If a guy sleeps with eight million girls he's a little slutty, but everyone laughs it off and congratulates him. If a girl does it she's a whore and a tramp. I don't know why it's like this. Honestly, I'd rather someone was a little experienced as well. But, it's just so ingrained in people that a woman who has had sex before is a whore, to many guys a girl who isn't a virgin is practically untouchable.

because some men are hypocrites ...its ok for them to bang like a dunny door in a southerly wind but they don't want to go seconds when they choose a wife!

I still have mine at 17, and I'd hate to loose it to someone who just wanted to have me because it was my first. ¬¬ I guess they like the innocence of it.

I agree, i rather have a pro instead of an ameture.

Mans nature, Veni Vidi Vici

I'm sure a lot of it just has to do with the fact a virgin will not have anything to compare him to if he's terrible in bed. :P

It's an issue to the men who want to be able to say "Hey, I got to it first". After then, she's as good as washed up - NEXT!

It's a big issue because they want us to be just for them. I think some girls might feel that way to and I think its a very natural feeling. Its especially strong if you date someone from the middle east in my experience. They can be quite severe about this. Quite severe.

In my experience guys insist that a virgin does not compare to any other sex they have ever had. They say a woman who is not a virgin is too loose to get a lot of pleasure from. Not to mention a woman that has had a child. It is offensive to me as a mother. Everybody has their opinions though.

at some others country is yes

Virgin? What's that? I thought that was a myth. Just Kidding I never understood the need to marry a virgin. I guess it would be hard to deal with if they had slept with lost of people you knew well.

It seems to be an issue for a lot of women as well. It goes back centuries, it's all about the sexual control and limitation of women.

Hello Hercocet, I think it's because in Heaven you get to be with 40 virgins, welcome to the Therassic period B.C.

because a woman who is a virgin has never had anybody inside them and guys love to be the first inside.

Yes, I agree that virginity shouldn't be a such a big issue and I used to think that I'd rather have an experienced partner. Here are my two guesses: 1) The guy happens to be a jerk, and counts the number of women he devirginizes. He is proud of his ability to win women over. 2) The guy is a good man, he has waited out for his one true love and feels that all girls (and guys) should wait it out. The apparent reason being mutual respect.

this may sound stupid but its just that its easier to satisfy someone who's never expierence it before cuz if u have there is a possiblity that one was better. and plus its smaller

women can also be intimidated. some women think that they may not be "as good" as the last girl that her partner had sex with.

With all the STDS and fatal diseases out there, one would have to be insane to be sleeping around without knowing the history of their partners. It's a potential death sentence. So virginity is cool on both men and women.

In my own experience, my wolf was concerned with my virginity for several reasons: 1. He didn't want to rush me into anything I felt uncomfortable with, nor did he want to hurt me because I'd never done anything. 2. He understands just how serious I have to be about a relationship before I will even consider having sex. For me, that is one of the biggest signs of trust on my part. It takes me a very long time or an extremely stressful situation (or even both) before I will trust someone to even hug me! 3. He doesn't want our past relationships to damage our future. He did have others before me, but he has been incredibly selective. I hold nothing against him for who he has been with in the past. And we're both "clean" so we don't worry... It is quite the valid question, and although I do not agree with experiencing several people in that sense, I would say that you have definitely earned some points, along with my respect.

because some guys want to be the first

Well for me, virginity is the greatest give a man would ever receive from his wife/girlfriend. And i heard plenty of hearsays about it my friends told me. when you got a virgin the relationship stays for good. for the reason your man will no longer feel insecure about your past relationships. and i bet every man on earth would like to be the first love of the girl they love. and on the other side, every woman on the world would wish to be the last of her man's love. For me i believe it's a big deal. It eliminates one good problem in the relationship. The big INSECURITY..

because men have this thing with firsts gota be first in everything

its like this.. girls are like cars, you gotta see how many miles they've got if you know what im sayin...

cause its tight, and i like the image of a virgin(being more mature...(hopefully not just ugly or something) than an experienced woman who has already been intimate.

As the old Scottish saying goes 'Dont stir another mans Porridge...' or something...

Because, in our minds, it's an honor to receive something that she can only give to one person in her lifetime. It isn't a fear of being compared to other men -- I'm confident about myself, I don't care about how good or bad some other guy is. But I would have loved for a woman to give me something that she could only give to one guy. And I feel bad that nobody ever considered me special enough to be her first time. Now I am married so, that's that, it will never happen for me. You might be interested in a thread I started, "Should a guy feel bad if he never got to be a woman's first time?" http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/286691 Apparently a lot of women don't see why it bothers men, which probably means that it shouldn't bother us. But it does.

Sexual control. It's about men having control over women, having what they see as a valid reason to judge them, whether they are 'sluts' or not. It all comes down to this, so I think the concept of virginity should be eliminated entirely.

MEN TELL ME ITS CUZ ITS TIGHT AND THEY LIKE THAT....

i agree most of the girls i've bin with were more experianced thats how i leart i think some guys r insucure and dnt wnt look stupid in bed so they go 4 girls who dnt know wat there doing 4

I am a girl but I would rather have 72 virgin men if i could...ugh, so hot. I'd teach them how to get down....boogie

so they can brag later on in life of popping the most cherries would be my guess.

Doesn't the Hymen even break with the insertion of the tampoon?

i think the special guys are the ones that dont care whether there virgins or not, what they care about is the person on the inside, if they really like this person and they love them then they would appreciate if the girl says no bcoz they will wait, however if i was dating a guy who isnt a virgin which i tend 2 do then i know i wont want 2 have sex with him until im sure that once i do that he wont just run and bang some other chick, the perfect guy for me wont care if i dont have sex with him straight away, wont care who my friends or family are all he would care about his how much he loves me and that is all that is needed.

I think because I girl who is still a virgin, is more likely to be faithful, and respectful to him. Any woman who respects herself, respects the people around her. It also means this woman has class, and is a challange, not just another woman who is eager to have sex right away.

i dont know, but did any of them stop to think that not everyone has lost thier virginity willingly.

i was the other way around when i was dating: a woman who only dated male virgins. I hurt a lot of guys before i became a christian and met my now husband. he showed me how beautiful and sacred virginity is on our wedding night, which we waited for, and it showed me why its such a big issue. When you have sex with someone, you don't just give yourself to them physically, but they take a little bit of you spiritually as well. With virginity i think its doubled, or even tripled, with what the other person walks away with. its a unique gift that should be cherished, but because it is unique its also highly desired.

I prefer a virgin because I'm a virgin. I don't need an experienced girl. We can learn after marriage.

i dont really know exactly. but thats how my bf was. after i lost my virginity to some other guy which was a mistake, my bf finally asked me out. and he's always telling his friends not to take a girls virginity.i think since some guy, all they want is that one certain thing,i think thats part of it. because i think their afraid that the girl will be so happy that the guy took their virginity and now they wanna date but the guy doesnt and then everything goes terrible with all this drama and it usually connects with his friends and family. and it just gets crazy. but somebody has got take their virginity. but anyway...thats how my bf was.i guess he was just waiting til i lost my virginity so he could finally ask me out which is pretty stupid!but idk there are still alot of dumb and stupid reasons to that question. but some are pretty reasonable for those nice and shy guys.

I can't speak for anyone else but for me it is irrelevant.

I never really cared whether a woman was a virgin or not. I think those that prefer virgins are the same type that write FIRST! on comment sites and such. Want the ego trip of being there first ya know? I myself tend to prefer women that have the virginity issue out of the way though, I have noticed the few virgins I have been with to be clingy and immature emotionally and it was a lot of additional pressure and work in the relationship.

I think with men it's an ego thing. You know, "She gave herself to me first:"

Wouldn't really matter to me. Of course I would probably tread with caution though if I were dating a virgin. Women seem to get kind of attatched to their first and I would definetly take that in to consideration.

it's not a big deal...

Its all about status and human nature; men inherently like to have a sense of ownership and purity while in a relationship. But the other person who left a comment is entirely right, we all reach a certain age when the whole thing gets thrown out the window and it all becomes a crap chute.

i agree

I don't know what other people answered but this question reminded me of something I recently heard... Well first of all, a woman's virginity is a big deal. They can only give it to someone once, and aside from being her first, a woman's virginity represents purity, it shows that they're clean, and some or most guys find that attractive. Why would you want someone who's been sleeping around?' Early initiation of sexual activity and higher numbers of non-marital sex partners are linked in turn to a wide variety of negative life outcomes, including increased rates of infection with sexually transmitted diseases, increased rates of out-of-wedlock pregnancy and birth, increased single parenthood, decreased marital stability, increased maternal and child poverty, increased abortion, increased depression, and decreased happiness. http://www.heritage.org/Research/Abstinence/abstinence_charts.cfm Safe sex doesn't protect you from getting STDs; condoms don't protect people against the most common STD, HPV, among others as well. http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=339 http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=285 By sleeping around with many people, your "experienced" partner is at a greater risk of getting cervical cancer. Birth control pills increase a woman's risk of getting breast cancer. http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=41 Plus, if you want to have a family, aside from protecting the health of your future spouse and the future spouse of others by not sleeping around, people who get married as virgins have a divorce rate 70 percent lower than those who aren't... so if you want to get married..... http://www.catholicherald.org/archives/articles/chastity05.html I can't go on because there was just so much information. But these are the links I got the information from http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7 http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&cat=Birth%20Control http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&cat=STDs And then again, this is from a catholic perspective, and I'm just a kid, I've never had sex before. And you may think that my references sound like a joke; chastity (I agree with some but not all of it) and ~The Pure Love Club~ might sound silly. I guess You can choose not to listen to what I'm talking about, but I just wanted to get it out there. I don't know what religion you are or how old you are or whatever but regardless, for health reasons, most of what I learned from the site and their video (that I saw at school) makes sense to me anyway. This is the audio of the video I watched in school: http://www.catholic.com/audio/chastity/romance_without_regret-catholic.mp3 It's kind of long, but also very funny... the guy's like a comedian, but it's very informative and worth listening to if you have the time.

I thought you were gay? A woman's body doesn't interest you at all if it would be the first time or the 100th time she had sex.

Well i am dating a virgin and she will be transfering schools in the fall. I am having second doubts about taking her virginity. I am worried she will want to carry on a long distance relationship.

When I still was a virgin myself, I really wanted her to be a virgin too, because maybe I thought; What if I do something wrong xp but now I don't really mind if she's a virgin or not, I just want her to be cute now ;]

because you know the girl hasnt done it with any other guy and you know she doesnt have AIDS. (:

Men like to powertrip. Being with a virgin makes them feel powerful, especially if they are insecure with their sexuality.

id say because they feel that they are inadequate, that they may not live up to someones previous lovers standards, therefor if they opt for a virgin theres no-one to compare them to, making them the best shag that the girl has ever had (because thers no others?) lol. . . fear of a damaged ego would be a cause also i think. . . :( i personally dont see what the big deal is, but maybe thats because i could surpass the expectation of an experienced lover. . . ;);) id rather be confident and fail than be shy and never know.

well, some dudes don't want STD's. some dudes want to experience sex for the first time with someone who's also new at it. some men want the pleasure of being the first to forever change the girl. it's confusing, and complicated...

because since they have never had sex before they wont leave them for not being very good in bed

Dunno... I dont think it's a big issue... and my bf doesn't think either. ^^; It is true, experience is probably better since they know what they're doing, but you also should think about losing it your special someone... not just a random person. I think it is funny though, how some guys do think it is a big issue and don't like experienced girls even though they themselves had had sex before. I think it's retarded. XD They don't know what to think or do... O_o

They're tighter.

I still find it strange that some people still cling to this double-standard. I'm a lesbian who never had a relationship with a man. I knew I wasn't attracted to men before I ever even thought about sex. But growing up, listening to boys/girls, men/women talk about sex, it's always been the same. Guys are "studs" and girls are "sluts."

No man would rather NOT have a virgin. Every man wants to be the one to take the innocence of the girl, and not be 2nd, 3rd, or worse. I think taking a womans virginity is #1 on the to do list of any man.

For me it was the delight of discovery made by the two of us together as we both were going on a journey for the first time, never to be walking in other people's footsteps, learning what was around that bend as one. I've never regretted it. I'd much rather learn together and laugh about it, plus new things are truly new for each and we can learn together for many more years than already being good at something. There's a lot to be said for practice practice practice LOL!

Well...i think its cause we don't like the idea(you can call it ego)..that one day along the street with your wife or girlfriend you see a man... you don't know him at all but hes over there thinking..hah that girl felt good man...kinda thing. And oso i read that sex its actually more than physical..think its phycological as well. However if the guy really loves you and know you have changed and stuff...i am sure he'll for go such a point for a faithful, caring, loving blah blah women hahahah.

BCOZ THEY WANT TO BE THE FIRST AND LAST MAN TO GIVE HER SEX.

Men don't want to have to support another man's child! That is why they would prefer a virgin! If it's that important to a man the woman should say to him if you are the one to take my virginity then the next time you want me forget about it! If he still thinks it's that important then you better have a chastity belt handy to prove he's the first!

Well I may as well add my two-bits worth... Virginity is important only when blood lines are important. In short if the new bride was not a virgin and could not prove it by blood on the bed then the groom could not know for sure that the first child was truly his or not. This had to do with inheritance issues of the first born. He had legal grounds for divorce from the woman. Today because blood lines are generally not as important virginity is no longer the issue it once was. As a matter of fact it has been shown through research abstinence programs result in higher divorce rates and higer STD rates than those whom do not practice it. Also it is shown promiscuity increases the immune system. I hope the following bits of information help: http://www.libchrist.com/sexed/sexstrongerimmune.html http://www.libchrist.com/bible/purityharmsyouth.html http://www.libchrist.com/sexed/abstinance.html

Hm...well maybe it's suppose to be a "gift", but with the high rate of divorces nowadays, what a waste of a gift, huh?

Maybe because it implies that a virgin is a woman who takes good care of herself, is a controlled person who respects herself and has not been fooling around with other men who may be infected with different kinds of sexually transmitted diseases.

It is not a big deal to me,but I often wonder if they ever think about me.

The reason that virginity is important is because it guarantees a man that if she turns out to be pregnant in a month that the child is his, as long as he can ensure that she does not have intercourse with any body else.

At one point I though viginity had some value, but I value experience a lot more now. Perhaps if my first partner and I could talk to each other about sex, it could be different, but we didn't.

I value virginity a lot. It is the fastest way for me to lose all interest in having sex. I would MUCH rather have sex with an experienced partner than an inexperienced partner. Virginity is for teenage guys to deal with, not men.

As a girl, I think that some guys think it's more "pure". I dislike taking a guys' virginity. I'd like them to know emotionally how they feel before, during, and after sex. I've made the mistake of taking my ex's virginity and he regreted it because we ended up breaking up. He wanted it at the time, but now he feels aweful and I don't blame him.

Worthier to date a woman who already had an experience??? Worthy of what?? A woman is supposed to be "worthy" if she's experienced and not worthy if she's a virgin??

Me personally would rather have a girl with a little expierence. Girls get attached to there first and can often get so called "crazy". I've seen with my friends it seems if you take someones virginity you're going to have them for a long time like it or not.

A man wants to be a woman's first love, A woman wants to be a man's last love.

women lie about their virginity just so men can think they are the first one.

i'm a virgin and i'm worried that the guy will think i'm spastic if i can't do what other experienced girls can do, and i'll be too scared and i'd just lie there like a dead body

As a virgin guy, my faithful belief is all men and women should wait to lose their virginity with ONE and ONLY partner only. Women were born with a hymen and awaits to be broken by one guy only. That's the lesson I learned and wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with a non -virgin woman. Even if I was a the type of guy to sleep around with various women, virgin or not, I wouldn't let that belief stop me.

Here in my place virginity is the most important issue on the land. You have to marry the man you love and be a virgin. Those who married and not virgins will be punished by their families. That a different culture but i think it is a good one. Rkina2ncd

I'm a male virgin, and I expect my female to be a virgin as well. It shows that she is trustworthy and is less likely to cheat on me. It makes me feel I am the only one, and when I get married the virginity of the female essentially ensures that the marriage is "to the exclusion of others". How would you like the idea that when your female gives birth to your baby with the it's head coming out of a thing that other men have did their thing in? And talking about "experience", there is essentially no such thing to make a person enjor sex or to reproduce, because: a) There is nothing complicated about putting point A into point B. If the World was inexperienced in "sex", then how you reckon that human kind still exists?. What is more relaxing and essential then a full on vaginal sex? b) There are numerous instruction books including Kama Sutra, if you want to try different styles like Oral, Anal but these are purely optional is nothing compares to a full on Vaginal sex.

I'm not sure of the specific reason, but tradition says that a woman's virginity is very important. The men's virginity isn't brought up a lot or seem as in important compared to a woman's.

I've always wondered about that too. I mean, what's the big deal with getting 72 virgins when you go to Muslim heaven? At my age, trying to teach sex to 72 women would be a frakking NIGHTMARE! LOL!

I wish my wife had returned the favor of chastity to me. I saved myself for her and my physiology does not change after sex. I would liked to have experienced taking her virginity because (aside from religious beliefs) though it is a small difference, her first time is different from the rest and I will not get to experience that. yes later on we are more "experienced" but she can get that experience with me as well as anyone else. Her 5 year BF and 2 one night stands gave her no useful experience and she was as skilled as a virgin, they did however give her emotional scarring that took years to fix.

Give me experience any day.