• Sometimes ppl can't control anger but there is still no reason for him to hurt you. If he does lay a hand on you call the police! You can't let this happen any longer or you could get seriously hurt. Don't hold onto him if he hurts you because its all a joke he doesnt love you and i'm sure you dont love him. PS. Have you called Jenny yet?
  • - Anything that comes after "if he really loved me" is trouble. - Regardless of what his issue is, it seems clear that you have trouble just being with his silence. This is something you can and should work on -- don't apologize just to end the discomfort. If he's silent, he's silent. It's not the end of the world. - You both can benefit from learning some communication skills (most couples can). When he's not angry, have a conversation with him -- see if you can get him interested in coming up with better ways to resolve conflicts. There are books, self-help groups, therapy, etc... but somebody has to be interested enough to make that a priority and a project.
  • To stableboy I am unable to post as comment.Stableboy: I come from a family that puts bows on dead trees. A mother that suffers from schizophrenia/manic deppresion and tried to commit suicide in front of her children, etc. Dysfunction at it's best. A family of Dr.'s and professionals that live behind illusions. That being said not only am I the black sheep being that I got pregnant at 16 while everyone else was in college I grew up in counseling as everyone tried to " fix me". The problem with counseling is you pour your heart out as fast as you can as you only have 1 hour while the psychologist glances at her watch .See you next week ! Thanks for sharing ! Don't forget to pay ! Yes I have become anti-social and disconnect myself from family/friends/coworkers because I can no longer trust people. The "friends" I do have, have learned that from time to time I don't answer my phone and No I don't want to hang out. My children get 3 meals a day, bedtime stories, trips to the park, hugs/kisses, Leaving the situation in my opinion would be a catch 22. Of course today everything is back to "normal " , and I was just dreaming things were bad. I guess I sleep walk from time to time. I really don't know what to do , but sometimes I feel breathing has become a voluntary motion. I am an aspiring writer and I try to write and use my characters as an escape that seems to be socially acceptable. You are obviously very intelligent and "awake" among the zombies. Thanks for your comments it truly does mean a lot !( I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. )
  • Ok stableboy let me ask you this: Outside of answerbag do you show your true self ? If so, how do you do that living in a transparent world ? I don't understand it, but some of us are awake and we always recognize eachother. Do you pretend to be asleep ? (watch sit-coms, etc.) What does your mask look like ? I guess this would be a good outlet for observers. We remove our masks for a minute and " Stableboy you are so smart ! " In a way we use our evil for good. What are your thoughts on this ? Do you mirror others because you know they couldn't understand you if you didn't ? I've found those that bare all end up on the infamous " watch list" . I've had conversations with other observers and suddenly every conversation after that was disconnected mysteriously. (to those reading this Yes I am just crazy please disregard)Please do share !
  • Not a good idea to project what works for you on to other people. Please understand that , from a larger point of you, perhaps no issue is ever resolved forever except in your mind. If it were resolved then there would be no issue at all! For the sake of the relationship he doesn't express his anger but holds on to it while you try to resolve things. I think quite common male-female behavior.
  • Apologies are only for acknowledging that you are wrong---and if you are not wrong, then an apology CAN'T solve the issue. Real intimacy in a marriage is rarely polite. Short term counseling will allow you to learn how to fight properly so that you are both heard by the other and can resolve the actual issue that is causing the conflict. How to argue is a learned behavior---very few are born with that skill. There is no shame in not knowing how to argue---but you do need to learn how.
  • i wouldnt bother staying with someone if they had anger issues

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