If your 15 year old tells you she is sleeping over at a friends......what do you do, if anything?
by 
suzycue
ANSWERS: 8
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Has she given you a reason not to trust her?
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I would start with the friends parents. I would be interested in seeing their home, and how they live. I would want to exchange numbers, etc. and give them any information on my child that would be deemed important, like allergies, etc.
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trust her.
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Tell her to try again and ASK. She's fifteen. Sleepovers require permission. My permission depends on whether I know the friend, her family, and the surrounding living conditions, as well as a contact telephone number.
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I don't let my child stay where I don't know what kind of people he's staying with. My son is 16 & if he goes to a friends house for one they have to have a phone, 2 the parents need to be home & 3 I need to know the parents. I trust my son & his friends but I like to know what kind of people & influences he's going to be around. I think they are at a age where if they have a really big screw up it can follow them the rest of their lives. And I know what I done at 16 & up when I thought no one was looking & he might not be as lucky as I was. Because I know you can trust your child & their friends 100% but when they get together they try to see what they can get into & get by with. But he knows his limits & he know the consiquences if he goes past them, besides that he's never gave me no problems & he & his friends stay at each others houses alot.
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First of all, she shouldn't be telling you, she should be asking you. And the decision to let her sleep over is yours to make not her's.
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I would make sure that her friends parents know about it and that she is sleeping over another girls house. I have an almost 13 yo boy and try to get him to let me know he is doing something rather then asking my permission for every little thing. I have enough security in my parenting skills that I know he will make the right decisions (except where his bedroom is involved, that is always a mess).
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Just to clarify.....this is not MY 15 year old. It is my friend's 15 year old granddaughter....her mom 'trusts' her to tell the truth. My experience as a family counsellor indicates that you cannot ever 100% trust a teenager about these things. I always checked with the parents of the friend, as some of you have written.I would do drive-bys...visit the other house prior to allowing my kid to sleep over.... It makes me quite nervous that adults who once were 15 'trust' so completely. Trust needs to be earneed over time. It isn't a right...it's an earned privilege.
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