• In general and personally, I do not think you should. Even living in the 21st century, there are still some things that are traditional and contribute to the romantic atmosphere of the great proposal moment. Here are some more reasons: -You can always buy all the jewelry you want for yourself later. -The engagement ring is a symbol of love and commitment, it doesn't necessarily needs to be expensive or made out of a real or big diamond. -You could seriously hurt your boyfriend's self esteem. -He can always buy something reasonable and pay it in a lot of monthly payments. You could co-sign his credit application, but he will still be the one paying. Now, since you already know that he is going to propose and also know that he doesn't have the money, I assume you both have a great level of communication and you can talk it out if you really feel is that important to have a very expensive and big engagement ring. Well, at the end this really depends on the level of communication and confidence you both have and of course how well you know him. It also strongly depends on how conservative or liberal is him (and you). Congrats in advance!
  • Astaroth had a good answer, I too think It might be kind of wierd to offer to pay for your own ring... My input: if you guys share costs (like if you live together , and have rent or utility payments) or if you often go out, offer, instead, to pay for more of the bills or date night events so that he can save up some of "his" money to buy the ring. That way he can feel like it's really coming from him, but he isn't spending any more money than he already does.
  • My daughter inherited a gorgeous and very expensive ring from her great-grandmother that she used as her engagement ring. Her husband bought the wedding bands and the thingy that connects the wedding band to the engagement ring. Since the original engagement ring is platinum, he ended up paying quite a bit to complete the set. This worked very well for both of them, even though I thought it a bit odd. I think you should do whatever you can live with. It's nobody's business how you handle it. Best wishes to you and your boyfriend!
  • did you end up doing that? please let me know. my boyfriend takes care of his annoying mother and just rented a place for them to live. he used his money for first and last and now we can't get engaged. he asked me to loan him the money. i don't know what to do? part of me says if he can't afford that then i'm in trouble? any thoughts? please help.
  • I am in a similar situation. He has been using his money to pay off credit cards and he pays a lot to his ex wife and kids. He says that he can't afford it now and I give him a break on the shared expenses so he can get ahead. He also says that he has to wait until when he can afford to buy me some large expensive ring that I deserve. I told him that I don't care about that and would feel guilty. I have to say that I am starting to wonder if it is a cop out on his part. If he really wanted to be together he would ask with a modest ring and upgrade later. Also, I guess I am not ready to get married anyway. Relationships suck. You are not alone anyway.
  • I'm always a little apprehensive about help books on understanding men written by a woman.
  • An engagement ring is a sign of love and dedication to someone that your willing to give your 100% too.The thought of a woman buying her own engagement ring to me seems wrong im not into oldfashion ways but there is just some things that shouldnt be changed asking someone to mary you is one. As long as your together and happy then let him find the way then when your not expecting it and done the right way he will ask you and it will mean more to you and him than you can ever imagine. good luck
  • I wouldn't let you! lol i'd save up, eat less, wear less clothes, start walking everywhere, untill i had enough money to buy you the ring you want.
  • When I think about me buying my wifes engagement ring, I think about how she looks at it with her beaming eyes. Don't take this pride away from him when you look at yours.
  • Nope. Odds are you'll pay for most of the wedding(Since you make more money) So he should save up his money and buy you the ring. :)
  • Of course! I think that is a great question and i think it is not getting the respect it deserves. A lot of our core values are based on tradition, though these values are not always "right". Meaning that just because he doesn't have enough money, you should go without a ring. Explain to your fiance your reasons and if he is smart, he will know that he should not feel "threatened" by the fact that you are financially more stable than he is. THere are plenty of things that he can provide you with that don't have to be related to an engagement ring. You are a 21st century woman who is taking a perfectly good turn in buying something to commemorate your marriage. Good for you and good luck!
  • No honey... let him get on his feet and do his duty as a man. That is not the point to buy your own ring. That is suppose to be a symbol of his love, if he doesn't have money let him get creative and give you something with sentimental value not $ value.
  • forget the ring. just get married. then your money will be his money.
  • NO WAY !! If this guy can't even afford to buy you an engagement ring; how does he plan on paying Rent-Mortgage , Utilities, Groceries, Insurance , ... Maybe support a baby if you'd get pregnant .... I don't think HE is ready to get engaged yet ... at leaast until he can AFFORFD it !! +5
  • Absolutely not. If you do that, you're effectively proposing marriage to yourself. a If you buy your own ring, when will it stop? You will end up doing all the work in your relationship, because women are more inclined to take the lead in advancing and maintaining relationships. If he can't afford a ring right now, you should both wait to get engaged until he can afford something, and be willing to accept a ring that's relatively inexpensive.
  • What difference does it make whether he buys it or you buy it. Aren't you getting married anyway? Give him the money and let him buy it, if that makes you feel better.
  • If money and the ring are all that important to you, you really ought to reconsider getting married. When material things are the focus of the relationship, it's a short ride to divorce court. You may want to save yourself the trouble.
  • Good Grief no. Talk about neutering the guy. He'll find a way because I sure he doesn't want his wife buying her own ring.

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