Why is that parents are automatically blamed for the faults of the children? this bugs the hell out of me because it's not always necessarily thier fault. anyone else agree?
by 
angel_of_mercy
ANSWERS: 15
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Well, children are kind of the responsibility of their parents. That's the way it works.
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Well our children learn from what they hear from us, what they see us do and how we mold them. I agree...there are times that there is one that just goes the opposite direction. The more love and guidance we give them, the better the results from the child.
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I agree. I knew kids when I was a teenager who's parents tried like hell. Punished bad behavior, tried to reward good behavior, went to one counselor/therapist after another, everything they could think of and the kids were still wild and out of control. I admit that a lot of the time the parents don't pay enough attention to what their kids are doing or don't want to believe their kids would do anything wrong, but there ARE kids out there that get more influence from the bad crowd. It's a shame that the courts don't take that into account.
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I agree that its not always the parents fault. I think it also has a lot to do with the friends they keep. My mother was very protective over me and I love her to death. I was a very good student at one point in time. I had one friend though that I would always say I was sleeping over at her house. My mother met her and her mother. Her mother put on a perfect act as if she was the best mother and us girls were going to be watching movies all night under supervision. When I would get there it was a completely different story. Her mother let us do EVERYTHING! Thats the first way I ever had access to alcohol, drugs and a bad lifestyle. I turned very rebellious and my mother had no clue that she was the 'door' to my bad behavior.
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Up to a certain point and depending on the age of the child. Once children are old enough to make up their own minds, then I don't think you can blame the parent. It is evident in families where you have more than one child and some are straight edge well behaved children and others are rebellious. Same parents, different results. When I see little children in public though, running wild with no control, then yes, I feel as though it is the parent's fault.
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As a mom, if my daughter did something wrong, I think that would be my fault. However, she's 15. I have a step sister whose 41 & a crack head & she STILL blames it on her childhood, that to me is pathetic. If I could blame my actions on my childhood or my parents., I would be a mass murderer but that wouldn't help anyone.
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it is true that the parents should not always be blamed for their kids actions. we have the example of God himself, who as the perfect parent had some of his creation rebel against him. these were also perfect but chose of their own free will to leave his side. what a perfect example of abusing the precious gift of free will!
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I believe it's about 95% the kid and 5% the parent. The kid is an independant person and will do what they want to do in the long run.
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Because parents are responsible for their child's development and upbringing. Now, once the child reaches teenage years, that influence begins to dwindle, but you have to realize how much of an impact what you do and say to your child or around your child has on their conscious and unconscious mind. All of their values, beliefs, ideals, come from you, and the only way these values change is through the child's own contemplation. However, if the child never contemplates these things, then they are still stuck with your values.
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Sometimes the t.v. has too much influence and it is difficult for everyone to try to determine what is real and what is not.
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As long as they are not grown, I would think that the parenting had a lot to do with it. If your 17, 18, 19, 20+ years old though, you need to take responsibility for your own mistakes.
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While it's not necessarily the parent's fault, in my opinion it is their fault a lot of the time. It is the parent's responsibility to teach children right from wrong, acceptable from unacceptable behavior and to think before acting. If a child is unconsciously doing something wrong because they don't know right from wrong, then that is a failing on the parent's part. If an older child consciously thinks it through and then still chooses to do wrong, then that is not the parent's fault; but most kids/teens either don't know or didn't think their actions through.
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Proverbs tells a father to "train them up in the way they should go". It also says "spare the rod , spoil the child". It also says 23:13&14 Don't fail to correct your children; discipline won't hurt them!They won't die if you use a stick on them! Punishment will keep them out of hell. Today, it is not MODERN to punish a child . Today it is exactly opposite what the Bible teaches......
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small ones are not taught discipline or respect today and that is the parents FAULT.... they are not RAISING their kids, tv, computers , video games etc. are . Anything PARENTS can give their kids to placate them and keep from ENTERTAINING them themselves , they give them... I forget who said it , but he hit it right on the head, " a child without RESPECT is UNCIVILIZED".
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my mom would agree, i grew up with her telling me, "kids blame their parents for everything and all we do is love you and do whats best" must be hard being a mom. Mom's always seem to do far more than the child will ever do for the mom.
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