by Jenn - is a Chicken-Footed Demon Monster on December 22nd, 2007
Help answer this question below.
by Drastic on December 23rd, 2007
"Life is wonderful. Without it we'd all be dead."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest!"
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now."
by killdrphil on December 22nd, 2007
Here are some by Rodney Dangerfield:
I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
by Talimze wins the prize on December 22nd, 2007
It's really good of you to give that dead woman another chance.
by Esteban-- Now 20% smarter on December 22nd, 2007
and that's what the doctor said.
by sm00z on December 22nd, 2007
If not now--never.
by Larry Rhodes on December 22nd, 2007
Mine and John Wayne's
by Mark Hardy on July 15th, 2008
A police officer was interviewing a young recruit. “If you’re driving on a lonely road at night,” the officer asked, “and you’re being chased by a gang of criminals going 100 kilometers an hour, what would you do?”
The applicant replied confidently, “110!”
by top54u on July 15th, 2008
Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
Eat right, stay fit, die anyway
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
by Mushen on July 15th, 2008
one for the miserable fuckers in life:
what's crawled up your ass and bit you?
by AnonymousGuitarist on December 24th, 2007
Here is a line from stand up comedian Steven Wright:
Ever find it ironic that the only thing left standing after a house is burned down is the chimney and the fire extinguisher?
can someone tell me the funniest joke in the world
by jamie3885 on February 1st, 2010
| 1 person likes this
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
by Doyler One day ago
| 1 person likes this
there are three fish in a fishbowl. 2 drown how many are left
by bobbyjimmybobby on January 31st, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Why is it when your girl becomes pregnant, all her friends rub her tummy & say congrats but none of them rub your d!#k and say well done?
by Doyler on February 1st, 2010
| 2 people like this
Why did the developer cross the road?
by holmesct on February 2nd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
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Comments
Lol :P
by Jenn - is a Chicken-Footed Demon Monster on December 23rd, 2007