by esthar on December 13th, 2007

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After 3 months broken up, I want my ex back, but he says he doesn't know what he wants yet, even tho he has initiated seeing me often (but no sex). Now he wants to spend Xmas 2gether. Should I give this time + be patient or stop letting him mess with me?

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by Praetorian on January 6th, 2009
I think you've already answered your own question. Sounds like he's messing with your head and keeping you hanging on as a "backup" until someone better comes along.

Sorry to be so blunt, but it sounds like you need to dump him and start fresh with someone who WANTS to be with you.
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by mzjazz37 on January 6th, 2009
If he is sincere, then he will agree to start over with dating - from the beginning. No sex, just dating.

If he does, I would give him no more than lunch on Christmas Eve.

Let him figure out what he wants while you get on with your life.
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by Capt.Lizzie_pirate king_Swann on December 13th, 2007
It kind of sounds like he wants to start over a bit with you, so he's checking how it could be, if you get back together. If this is something you want, a relationship with him, you might want to try working with him.
Just don't let him take you for granted, either. Don't be his fall-back girl. Let him know that you are interested, but being pushy might chase him away. I don't think he's messing with you, I think he's testing if it can work again, from the sound of it. Time can be a good thing in a relationship, so go ahead and take it.
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- just what i wanted to hear! thank you! any advice on how to handle the day-to-day frustrating waiting and wanting that this kind of non-pushy patience takes?
  
  and yes, i'm trying to focus on myself and my own activities...it's just that we used to spend day in and day out together, and as soon as we have contact, i start to feel this obsessive desire to have that back. it makes the day to day waiting hard.
  
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  by esthar on December 13th, 2007
- I know waiting takes a lot of work, maybe if you do feel an overwhelming need to dwell on him and your relationship, you could try writing about it, or talking with friends,(just not too much on the friends thing). Then after you get it out of your system, go and take a class or a lesson in something that might interest you, to broaden your own interests out.
  
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  by Capt.Lizzie_pirate king_Swann on December 13th, 2007
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After 3 months broken up, I want my ex back, but he says he doesn't know what he wants yet, even tho he has initiated seeing me often (but no sex). Now he wants to spend Xmas 2gether. Should I give this time + be patient or stop letting him mess with me?

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Question

After 3 months broken up, I want my ex back, but he says he doesn't know what he wants yet, even tho he has initiated seeing me often (but no sex). Now he wants to spend Xmas 2gether. Should I give this time + be patient or stop letting him mess with me?

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