I am very unhappy with the way my husband treats me. Should I file for divorce or try to work things out? He is extremely verbally abusive & makes me feel worthless.
by 
snakelover
ANSWERS: 19
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Oh snake, is it really that bad?? I thought things were ok for a while there. Email me if you can. xx
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Well you must realize you do NOT deserve to live that way , that is a miserable life - and YOU are WORTH MORE
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Its only going to get worse in the way it makes you feel. Try to work it out and if it continues, do what you think is necessary or you could just leave the situation and have him served with divorce papers. Love isn't a good enough reason to stay in that kind of marriage. Having said that, I'm behind you 100% either way. Good luck.:-)
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Get out. and get out now...have a plan for leaving and do it...Abuse tends to worsen as time goes by in a relationship..contact a crisis intervention center or a women's shelter for advice. DO IT.
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Snakelover, I know you love the old hoot or you would have never gotten married. You have a young child together and although he may say horrible things to you, it doesn't sound like he has hit you. Do you think that you would benefit from a professional marriage counselor? You sound like the "cat's meow" so I really don't know why you feel worthless, he wants to keep you from getting compliments from waiters at restaurants.
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I think you answered your own question, you said "I am extremely unhappy." That about does it for me.
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If you are unhappy then you need to make plans to leave, you might not be able to walk out right now but at least start looking at your options. It is hard to leave but with an abusive husband for your sake and for the kids you need to go. Remember, how you and your hubby treat each other teaches your kids how to behave in a relationship, staying means you are saying I accept this treatment and it's ok. But it's not OK. Good luck.
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I'd try to tell him how you feel and if it doesn't change then get rid of him! Good luck!
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Research the laws of the state you live in. Research the legal resources available. Get calm, tough and informed. You may not have to leave, it may be him that has to leave. Especially if you are a homemaker. If you are concerned about his reaction you will need to get a restraining order (at least a temporary one). This does not mean you have to file for a divorce right away. You should be able to take these steps because you are being mistreated and held hostage and are frightened. Just because he paid for it doesn't mean it all belongs to him. Most states are community property meaning meaning you jointly own everything regardless of who works or makes the most money. He can be ordered to pay the house note, car note, child support ect. until you are able to support yourself. He owes you half of all the property including his retirement fund.
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If you still LOVE him, and he feels the same, try marriage councilling. Any church or counciling agency workes. If not, you don't have to take any abuse of any type: emotional, mental or physical. Ensure you are SAFE if/when you do decide to file for divorce and take everything that is rightly yours to save it from the event he should become physical (i.e.- breaking your things, burning your photos, hurting your pets). And please, please remember: its not your fault. An abuser will always tell you otherwise, but it's not your fault and you are not a failure. (if you ever need a sympathetic ear...let me know, I have yahoo messanger and I'm online often if you need to rant or just say nothing at all)
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Why would you stay?
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Been there. Get out. This is not about right or wrong...this is about healthy or not. Get a GOOD lawyer. If it feels to you that your lawyer is not hearing you, get another or seek help from a free legal site. The abuse will continue throughout the divorce and after, and your X will recruit his lawyer in his lies and manipulations. Good luck, and go talk to your pastor and a good therapist.
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A man can NOT be verbally abusive to a woman that he loves and respects. Get your ducks in a row, plan to leave.
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when ur doubting it ur just saying to ur self that he HAVE to be with him but in reality u dont need him.....leave him and find that guy that will go to the ends of the earth for u
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Ace the dickhead! ;-)
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Life is to short to be with someone who doesnt respect you.The sad thing is if you and him fight it shows with the people you are surrounded by.Whats worse than that is it rubs off on ur own personality after a while.It takes a while to return to ur regular personality a lot of times.You can see it and it sucks when this happens and u know that it is the significant other.Ah and fuk that if he makes u feel worthless I been through that and it suks and makes u insecure on top of that unconfident about urself.If you r a beautiful person dont let someone turn u into something u dont want to be.Make ur choices and ur a grown woman u know when its over,If its over just accept it theres to many beautiful people out their who would treat u like u want to be treated!!
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Leaving may not be the best solution to the problem neither dos it guarantee that the next relationship will be better than the former. I suggest that you try working it out with your present hubby. Talk things over i am sure you love this man. The problem here is how he treats you. If you re a christian i will ask you to pray about it open up to God an he will help you. Secondly you can attend a counseling section. Also show him more love it could be that h is only expressing what he feels inside. Wish you all the best.
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You both need counseling, you need it wither he agrees to get it or not. He is attempting to wear down your self-esteem. His self-esteem is probably very low and one of the reasons he treats you badly. If he chooses not to get help, then I would recommend leaving him. If you have children, they don't need to go through this, it would end up hurting them more by staying and seeing a bad relationship to be their role model.
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welcome to the rfeal world a flower will wilt without love ice will melt without being in the freezer he has a power over you he belittles you for his satisfaction and he aint going to stop tell the bum you have had enough of his azbuse by his picking on a woman tells me he is a very cowardly man you have married a wqeasel the faster you get a divorce the better you can make a better lkife for yourself divorce this half man
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