I am in love with a married man.. who says he loves me too. I am also married. He says he isnt leaving now because of the kids. Is it possible he wil leave one day? but it feels right.
by 
Debbie
ANSWERS: 22
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I imagine it would "feel" right to you two. Your both the same. It probably wouldnt feel right for you to have an affair with someone who knows what commitment means. It is possible he will leave, and when you two are together he will quite possibly leave you also. good luck!!!!
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Why did I let this affair go on so long with this married man? He said he wanted to grow old with me. it has been 10 years.
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No; he won't leave. And if he really loved you he would have done it a LONG time ago. Try to salvage the marrige you're already in.
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Your relationship started off on the wrong foot with both of you being married so even if he did leave his wife it tells you that he is not very faithful and maybe he wouldn't be able to trust you either. I hope if you are so unhappy that you will get a divorce or counseling and find someone who will love you right back like you deserve.
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You will land up spending most of your time alone , broken assignations always a dark secret, cheating on partners deceiving children and most men that use this excuse never leave or when they do leave their wives, it will be for a much younger model and you will have wasted your life and still be alone. Just my opinion and I am afraid I have little sympathy for men and women that end up heartbroken and alone. They have lied and cheated people that love and trust them for years. It is hard enough losing a partner in death without losing one who is going to teach you that nobody can be trusted.
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No, he will not leave his marriage. He is a liar and an adulterer (in mind if not in fact). I think you need more help than we can give you here. If you treat "marriage" like a toy you are tired of, and want a new one, you need an attitude re-adjustment. Get some counseling, now.
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That is just hollywood life! If you have self dignity you will run the opposite direction as fast as you can! Some men will only say they love you because they need to get off! In my opinion you are being used until he gets tired of it then say he is trying to fix his marraige then its adios! Be smart close the legs and see how much he REALLY loves you.I see it happen all the time.Besides if he leaves her to be with you then what makes you think he will be faithful to you if he is not to his wife? If your husband is understanding talk to him and try to get some marraige counseling before it's to late!
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It runs about 95% that he WON'T leave his wife, (at least not until his kids are grown and gone). Either try and salvage your marriage, or "start clean", as "R.R." said. You always have to worry that "if they cheated before, they will cheat again". Don't end up being 40 or 50 and alone! Start working on fixing things NOW, one way or the other.
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It's never enough to think of your own happiness, you need to strongly consider the choices which you make and how they are going to effect everyone in the long run. The best policy in life is to remain honest, caring and compassionate... this is the only way to truly be happy... like other people have said if you take a bad path you run the risk of ending up alone... Now is the time to start caring about everyone who will be affected by your actions... Your actual question... "Is it possible he will leave one day"... yes of course it's possible...
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Debbie, I'm just curious...how come YOU haven't left YOUR husband? Could it be that you still really love your husband? If your lover was gone would your marriage work? Maybe the best thing for you both to do is to end your relationship and work it out with your existing spouses? Just wanted to see the situation from another point of view... Good luck... hope whatever you decide it would turn out for the best...
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I was in your situation and I can tell you... We fought constantly because of the jealousy I had over the fact that he always had some reason to go back to his house (mostly his kids). He told me that he told her about me...and she was not going to stand in our way, but he couldn't afford a divorce right now. After a final fight on Valentine's Day because his wife was having surgery, I decided to end it. If he wants me, he better be a MAN and tell her and get that divorce...otherwise, he cannot and will not ever have me again. That's the way it goes. I owe it to myself. I have been through enough.
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He has already told you he isn't leaving his wife. And that crap about it being because of the kids is just that: CRAP! No one stays together for the sake of the kids. Kids are a great reason to divorce, so that they don't have to grow up hearing adults fight and cuss each other out. How many psychiatrists are kept in business because of patients whose parents stayed together for the "sake of the kids"?? Pick up the shattered pieces of your own marriage and go on with life. Forget about the married man that isn't your husband and focus on the marriage where YOU are number one. Unless you like being the second fiddle...
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Maybe you need to back up, and re-think what is right, and what is wrong. There is nothing right about destroying two marriages, about lying to your spouse, about going outside your marriage.
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why would you want to be with a man who leaves his family for another married woman? Seems like that wouldn't be a number 1 pick if you know what i mean?
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stay with your husband. there has to be some reason you havent left him yet. u love him still. don't ruin 2 relationships including yours
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You mean feels good, don't you... Rent the movie 'Waiting to Exhale'... it should help you make a decision.
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I wouldn't get involve in a situation like that. If he's married and you are to you obviously love the person you are with. And what makes you think hes not goning to "love" someone else as well when hes with you?
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I don't see why you're not divorced if you think he should get one...
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day when their children are no longer children..can u wait till then ?
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Debbie, Whilst it is easy for people to be so black and white with their opinions, our hearts and minds don't work in that way. You don't say how long this have been going on but I presume quite some time! I had a friend in a similar situation however his not leaving was due to the step-children which he knew he would have no visitation rights with should he leave. I am not a fan of ultimatum's but in this case perhaps you need to in your mind (and tell him) of a fixed date and at that point move forward with or without him and with or without your husband. Life is not easy and people marry for a myriad of reasons and divorce too (hence the law!!). I also have happy friends who have been together over 20 years as a result of a relationship that started as an affair. Whilst not trying to give you false hope, I do understand the confusion but you need to take a firm stand and that will give you the answer you are looking for. jess
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Its not a real relationship if you are both already married and there is a slim chance that he would even leave his wife and kids. Even if he did would you be able to deal with the fact that he would proubly just do he same thing to you that he is doing to his wife now?
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My husband has been in the same situation as your lover is now. He tried to leave, but he came back in 5 days. He could not be happy without our daugher and he was unhappy loosing daily little things in our family. We were not the perfect couple, but the bond created by a marriage and a child is hard to destroy. He cried like a little baby when he decided to leave... and now he is back. Now he is happy with his decision, even if, for a while, he suffered after her. It has been very hard for me too... and for our daughter... there are no words to tell you how hard. We understood finally what made him be involved in that relation and now we are much better. So, I think you deserve to be happy and to live your own life, not other's life. Give yourself this chance and to him, if you truely love him. Now it seems right to you that he has to leave his family, but think: what if you were in the position of the wife or of the kids? What if, after years, he would do the same to you???? Good luck!
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