You need to think about the children in this. Would you want to be rise in this issue? I love my husband very many but I have two little girls to think about if the issues might hurt them in any way then I have to leave. It can be very hard on I child to go throw those thing. You can anyway try to get him some help. Maybe you can fine someone to talk to for the whole family. You can support him with out living with them.

I have been where you are. I don't mean to scare you, but my boyfriend ended up committing suicide. You cannot help him. He must find his own strength through therapy and possibly medication. My bf was manic depressive. He was self destructive and hurtful to me to the point where I had to leave. You can't be responsible for him. If he is willing to get help, you can help him by taking him to therapy or a psychiatrist. Your emotional well being is probably all ready in jeopardy, and you need to be the best mom you can be for your child. You can love him and also live apart while he is too unhealthy to bring a stable, loving environment to you and your child.

It was our anniversary yesterday (of meeting) and I rang him and he said he didn't think we had a relationship, was thinking of suicide (again) etc. Rang back and asked if I could bring his stuff over (I drove him to work the past week, even then we had one little fight during the week). When I got there he told me he had tried to gas himself in the car (showed me even, the hose etc). But could not go through with it. He said he had a realisation then and there that this was it, he was going to sort his life out and I was worth fighting for. He ended up coming home with me. We talked a lot, ended up arguing and breaking up. He says if I love him I will do this for him (have him stay here and drive him to work, while he pays me for petrol). I worry about getting caught out by centrelink though. I don't think it is right. He says it is nothing. And if we lived together and broke up he would have rights to half the house (this protects me as he's a gambling addict). He has a lot of issues to deal with. He oftens drinks too much also. And then there is the kids (I have 3 kids altogether). I think I did the right thing. But I'm worried he'll kill himself.

I think you are both right. Thank you for your advice. I just don't know how he can keep his job now (a well paying job at woolies factory). It is so far from where he lives. And no decent public transport. He lives with his elderly Dad, who is not good enough to drive that far. I guess that is his problem now.

I don't think you're helping him by helping him, you're a codependent. He's on self destruct must get himself together. You're not his mother, you have your own three kids to care for. It's not your fault, and you're not the solution. You have to cut him off until he gets better. You wouldn't want him to father your future children in case you should have more. You can't let him use suicidalism to control you. He's clearly worthless. If he dies he dies. Save your children. Find another man if you can, this one's not working out. I know I sound cold but God has no obligation to help those who would rather live in crap than work the shovel, and neither do you. I would kick him out and refuse to see him and refuse to help him.

I agree with "Molecule". You just CAN'T be held hostage anymore! He knows that this is one thing that keeps him in your life, so he will use it over and over and ... And, now he wants to straighten up, but you must let him live with you AND drive him to work? No! It's just another way to keep his hooks in you. Yes, he needs help! But, he needs to work this out on his own. If he cares for his child ANY AT ALL, he will settle down, clean up, and get things in order, before putting the children thru this. For the childrens sake, cut the ties now! No child should be raised in that kind of mess, and if he is any kind of guy at all, he will know it. I don't think he will harm himself, but even in a worst case scenario, PLEASE put the kids first! I'm praying for you and wish you all the luck in the world!

on and off is no good,you should break away now. don't tell me you are a canadian.

I'm Australian, not Canadian. I just needed some reassurement I did the right thing. There is love there, but it's not enough. He has been good this past year. And cut ties with friends who were bad for him. But the depression lives on, and it gets me down. He has leaned on his Father all his life to clear his debts. He learns nothing. What happens when his Dad dies? I can't carry that burden. It's sad because my daughter has just started to go to him (she is 19mths). She's been clingy most of her little life. I think she was afraid of his mood swings. I've had enough. He says he will leave this country and work on a ship as a deckhand for 6mths...we will see. I have just heard it all before..he will give up. At best it lasts 3months. And he is a nervous wreck and snappy while he gives up (marijuanna and heavy drinking). I think I'm better off...though I will suffer financially. My kids (and I) deserve better. Even if this was the one time he really meant it, and he would quit all that shit. The damage has been done. I think we both realise that now. All the time he spent at his mates house getting stoned and drunk or gambling instead of being with his family, has cost him. My other two kids (from previous marriage) are at an age where they need good role models too (8 and 10).

Some people are just to toxic to live with, he is responsible for his own behaviour and actions, the suicidal thing is just a form of emotional blackmail. If he choose to kill himself then that's his choice, you are not responsible for that.

Catho, Tell him that you are washing your hands of his attempts to kill his own self. If you want to help this suicidal dude, then check him into a mental hospital so he can get ECT performed on him. He is going to need it, it can help him cope with the issues. Moreover, If he did that here in Texas, They will find him a great risk, and have him committed. Here in State of Texas, USA, all you got to do is dream of killing one self, Its good bye to the mental hospital where the Doctor can order several treatments of ECT. He will not be the same, but you can bring your picture of the baby to him to refresh his mind. The mental hospital has helped many of mentally ill patients. This maybe the route to go. Hope this helps