It kind of depends... when did he cheat (how soon into the relationship or how recent?), how often (affair, or a one time thing?) what type (sex, emotional, just a drunken kiss?) and lastly - do you still trust him? When someone is unfaithful, communication, counseling, and time for you to trust again all need to happen. I definitely wouldn't jump into marriage because of what happened. There is no reason why working on this betrayal should take the back burner to the excitement of getting married. If he is frustrated by you wanting to wait and needing time to sort through this then that is a red flag right there....Do you really want to see this happen again 10 years down the line when there are children and so much more invested?

You'll find that you really don't have a choice. You'll have to breakup with him. When either party cheats (even once) the relationship is basically doomed. No one who does that can ever be fully trusted again. Therefore, the one cheated on will always be worried (leading to the end of the relationship) or the one being cheated on will be cheated on again and left for someone else.

I am in the same situation here. Except i have been dating mine for 10 months. Its not as long as you, but yes. He did cheat on me right after our 9 month. 5 days after. he always told me he loves me and is so happy with me. he told me that he wants to marry me and that im the right one for him. hes 27 im 20 so i know that we are both in very differnt parts of our lives, but i do know that i love him and he loves me. but he lied to me when he cheated on me with this girl. he told me he was going to the city but he was going to a movie with her and then they were just going to go home. well she deciede she wanted to see his apt, so they went in and she wanted to see his room. right when he turned off the lights, she kissed him and that led to that. they had sex. however, he told me a. they used a condom, but b. he stopped becuase he todl her that he just couldnt do it. he thought of me. now granted, she didnt know he had a gf. he told her that he was single, and he took down all of my pictures of me in his room. now why woudl he do that? he told me when i asked him about it that he wasnt intending on having sex wtih her. he just wanted someone to talk to cuz apparently i wanst listneing to him. up intel a couple of days ago, he hadnt seen his family in 2 years. they live in tx we live in IL. and i mean what do i say to that. im sorry? thats what i said..i didnt know what else to sya. well anyways, he said i wanst listening to him so he met this girl at his work.--the same place i work--keep that in mind. they talked for a week on the phone, texted a lil, and bam, went out to a movie and well..fucked!! ug..i knew somehting was fishy, and i have keys to the apt, so i came there at 5 in the moirning to him and this chick in his bed. i flipped shit! but i told him i wasnt done with him. i love him so much that i was willing to just get over it like that. and i am trying. but now he gets mad at me for always brinigng it up cuz im scared now. wtf do i do? he took me to see his parents, after this happened. he appoligized so many freaking times. he said he regrets it. he doesnt talk to her anymore at all. deleted her number, i even checked. i mean. he said he loves me so much and he was all fucked up and didnt know what he was doing or thinking for that matter.. i mean i love him..what do i do? i wanna marry him but its so hard to just go back to how things were again. its been a month since it happened. any thoughts from anyone??

Don't marry the bloke...or you'll only have yourself to blame if he cheats again. Take care.

I am in the exact same situation as you. My boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me and i found out on xmas eve. Not from him either. From a friend of the girl. My xmas was the worst i have ever had and to make things worse he took off for a few days because everyone was giving him grief for it (so they should)It was the best thing he could do because it made my anger subside. When we did talk i displayed no emotion and instead gave him a hug and said i forgive him but can't be with him. We are not apart and he wants to work things out but i honestly don't know if i can. I do believe that people make mistakes and that everyone deserves a second chance. For now, however, i am taking the time out for myself and trying to put together the pieces of my broken heart. I think time out is definitely the best option here.I know you love him but dont rush into marriage yet.

everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance...if u decide to give him a second chance i would advise u to put a hold on the maridge idea and c how things are between the two of u and if he is honestly sorry and if he can be trusted again..

You should do what you believe is right. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. At least you found this out before you got married, though.

I don't know the guy, nor the situation he cheated in. You have to decide whether this was a one-off error on his part, and whether you can fully trust him for many years to come.

My boyfriend did the same to me, i gave him another chance, his words were very clever but his actions such as adding females he did not know on facebook, and twitter, contacting an ex via facebook all while im still reeling from his cheating so it just made me feel worse than i would of if he had not been cheating it just helped me to make up my mind that i could not marry or stay with this man, because i was always on edge wen it came to him and other woman, where as before i was not.

Run! Lies once, lies twice.