I can tell you that my most recent relationship taught me to NEVER settle again and life is entirely too short to not get what you want out of a relationship.

never ask about their past and make sure not to answer any about yours'.

the good thing- well it wud be that never get too serious until and unless you are very sure of who the person you are involved wit is, and trust is the underlying base. bad thing- well, it just hurts a lot..thats it

i've been in two serious relationships. the good thing i learned from the first guy was not to place too much emphasis on the little things that bother you. the most recent relationship i was in taught me how to work hard for what i want. i guess something that i learned the hard way from my last relationship was that love is not everything.

Gotta say, so far, all the answers here from my fellow AB'ers are smart, not the least of which is the hard-earned balance of viewing whatever happens to any of us, for whatever reason as 'a learning tool.' For me, the significance of answering the question posted is found equally in the ‘good’ that one has experienced, as well as the ‘bad;’ whether that relationship was ‘the right one,’ or turned out, for whatever reason, not to be. More, I especially agree with one answer here: NEVER SETTLE [for less] EVER. Perhaps after reading this answer, you will more easily understand why. Without sharing all details of why I did what I did -- which I completely understand and accept now as an adult, a senior and a happily married woman -- in my early life I had more 'lovers' than most. Some probably would not be proud of this fact, if it were true from them. However, I absolutely think and feel differently about ‘the many’ and what each literally taught me. [Briefly: after running away from home at 16, for very sound reasons, I was ‘looking for love in all the wrong places.' That, and five years later, found myself bumping into ‘free love’ which was part of my generations attitude and behavior during the 1960’s +.] But that isn’t the point I wish, hopefully, to make here. I believe most of us, who have had more than one relationship may be able to relate to this: ‘Wow, I love him/her ...but s/he isn’t very intellectually stimulating!’ Or, ‘Wow, he/she is intellectually stimulating all right, but s/he isn’t very emotionally available.’ What I experienced is: its rare any of us ‘get into’ knowingly, literally ‘bad relationships’ with truly ‘bad’ people, though for some of us that was true as well. Most all human beings are lovable, most are kind, most are smart, most are cooperative. The question may be then, ‘How do the qualities and character of this person, match what I KNOW makes me, as an individual, content and productive more times than not?’ For the larger, universal truth: no one else can make us happy and content. This personal goal is our independent, singular job. Nor can we ever change another person; this is literally impossible, and more importantly, it is not our job, ever. The price of admission to profound, lasting love is not only in the CHOOSING literally beforehand, but equally in our individual ability to match and offer the very same elements. (It is always a two sided street.) Each person in our past relationships had qualities we admired. especially at first blush. Regardless of whatever followed, there was ‘something’ we liked/loved about them, even if we ended up without them. Equally, the ‘stuff’ we did not like about each, as it turned out, is as much ‘good’ information as the elements we did. This could be equally said about our own behaviors. We are loving, and we are ... [fill in the blank] as well as not so good at [fill in the blank]. And that’s my point. Most tend to look for only the good elements from others. Nothing wrong with that. However, if one literally came to acknowledge what they as individuals ‘like and don’t like’ EQUALLY, they will witness an interesting phenomena in themselves: I can now weigh each and every quality I have been with in the past and allow all of these elements to INFORM me of not what ‘I need’ but more what 'I WANT’ [must have’s]. This is accomplished so the we are able to be that person who answers ‘What qualities and character elements in another person matches what I know, encourages me as my own individual to be content and productive more times than not?’ Importantly, and from my own personal experience, it is up to each of us to hone our own contributions to a relationship, never ever blaming ‘the other guy’ for all of it. Sometimes not even for a part of it! We took part in the good times as well as the bad, even failing times. At the very least, as reasonable, common sensed people, we can encourage ourselves to be whole, invested in reaching our own highest potentials. We can do whatever it takes to learn how to take care of ourselves better. We can learn how to let our own unsavory inclinations be put to rest once and for all. If we are DOING this for ourselves, the choice of mate -- when that arrives -- will allow each to observe, perceive and witness whether they, themselves, are ‘ready’ or whether that other individual is up for the next steps. As it turns out, some are 'good for dating.' That doesn't mean they are 'good for mating.' For me? I literally wrote down both the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ I had perceived not only in my past relationships, but IN MYSELF as well. It was one of the best things I did for myself. And, as it unfolded, for 'the one' to appear. Now? Oh ... just that I am in the happiest of marriage's (25 years and counting). For us, there are no contests, no jealousies, no complaining, not even fights. Honest. There is only independece and cooperation. There is only romance. But more, there is only two people who have become 'one flesh.' And that is with children (now adult). We both KNEW not only what we wanted as individual human beings, but we literally stated so up front in that FIRST week of dating. Courageous? No, but intelligent and emotionally avilable. Equally each of us had to answer this next question: 'Am I the person I would want to marry?'