he is a very confused and probably upset young boy. i think you should sit down and talk with him. let him know that you are his friend but thats as far as it can go. let him know that his feelings arent wrong. also i would be having workds with his parents, did they kick him out because he was gay? if so i think that is totally wrong and discusting. all this boy needs is support, you were there for him and that is probably why he has developed feeling for you. it wont last, just be kind and try to see things from his point of view, he didnt choose thing.

his parents probably kicked him out because he is gay, my mom's the type to do that (which is why i have never told her i'm bi). You should speak with him and tell him that you just want to be friends (he shouldn't take it too harsh, he probably knows you're straight)

You need to sit him down and explain that while you're not angry with him or anything all you can be is a father figure to him. I have a feeling a part of his feelings are because you're being nice to him. If is dad is a nasty as you say he is I doubt he's even known what it's like to have a father so he's probely confussed about having nice feelings towards you.

First, you're to be thanked for your help you're giving this youngster. He must be terrified. Second, he needs to talk to a counselor. There should be one at school - though that's not always the best place to go since what he says in there is not protected by doctor/client priviledge - or some in the local community. Many will even do it for free when they hear the circumstances so that you don't have to pay $125/hr. Third, check out The Gay Youth Corner at: http://www.thegyc.com/ and coming out as a young person: http://www.freetobeme.com/iti_gay.htm I suggest you get on Google and search for resources for gay youth. There is stuff out there for him.

Sit him down and explain to him that you are a heterosexual friend and while he is either not sure of his sexuality or if he is definately gay he is going to have crushes on people that are kind to him.As all young people of both sexes have when growing up. He must be very frightened and feeling confused and alone, is his sexuality the reason he was thrown out of his home.? If it is . Shame on his parents and many salutations for your understanding and kindness to a sad and unhappily confused young man.

First of all, I applaud you and your wife for taking this young man in, no matter if he is gay, straight or bi. He is young, confused about his relationship with his parents and is focusing on you as the father figure which sometiems can be romanticized. You didn't say if your wife knows about his attraaction and what is her reaction? Please elaborate. He needs someone to talk to. I was his age and came out and was attracted to a lot of older males, mostly straight, as I had no other point of reference and I was in therapy for about 7 years. You and your wife should counsel him as best you can but remember as he is a minor please be careful as to what you say and also I would consult with some professionals for your own sake as to how best to handle your guest. Just a question - for you or for any other male on here: Would it be as awkward or easier or more difficult if this was a young female guest with the attraction. I am curious as to the handling of a 15 year old girl in these circumstances. PS. Good luck to you, wife and the young man. I hope it all works out for the best. You are a wonderful, caring family. He is lucky.

I am curious about how you would react if he had expressed an attraction to your wife. It is the same thing, isn't it? I mean, wouldn't it require the same sort of treatment? Love/attraction is what it is.

Well, first, it is illegal to "kick" a minor child out of your house. You are legally responsible. If you can't deal with your own teenager, then you should contact family services or whatever they are called where you live. But, back to you,..Well, you tell him that you know how gorgeous you are, but your wife takes all your sexual energy. And, that she is extremely possessive, and if he wants any more free meals, he had better cool it. In the mean time, talk to his parents. Tell them what I said about their legal responsibilities. At least tell them you want some help on the grocery bill until you get the authorities on the case. That should get him out of your hair, er, house, pretty soon. Just a few suggestions.

Simply make it clear that that his interest is not in the slightest returned. Provided he takes "No" for an answer, which is every person's duty, carry on as if he had not said it.

First, I want to say that you and your wife are truly good people. That is rare in this world and I applaud you for it. Second, I agree with some of the other answers, I think the boy is seeing you as a father figure. As to why he told his parent's, being gay is something that is very hard to keep to yourself. When you don't tell those people that supposedly love you, you feel as if you're lying to them. That was probably the reason he told his parents. As you have said, the young man is very gentle and good. Encourage those traits. As far as being attracted to you, take it as a compliment and tell him the you're flattered, but that is all there can or will ever be is being flattered. But by the same token, let him know that you are there for him. Obviously his parents aren't. He's at a very vulerable age. He is gay and there are a lot of people out there that hate us. And see about getting him some counseling, not for being gay so much as for the feelings of abandonment caused by his parent, in essence, throwing him away for being honest with them. I wish you and he the best of luck.

You should do the exact same thing you would do if a 15 year old girl told you she had a crush on you. Be flattered, then tell him or her that you do not feel the same way, that you are happily married, and that he or she should focus more on kids their own age. And by the way, you should report the kid's parents to DCF. Anyone who would do that to their child should be locked up.

First, that is TERRIBLE that his parents kicked him out! That's illegal in the United States...maybe you ought to tell them! It's very nice of you to let him stay with you, but him being gay should have nothing to do with it. I must admit that if he is attracted to you it may feel a bit strange, but right now he really needs you.

First, do not validate his feelings by telling him you are flattered but...He will just take it to mean that you are some what attracted to him and can be convinced. Second, Let him know that you are willing to accept the responsibility of being what is paternal figure could not be and that is a father nothing more. Introduce him to groups or organizations in your community that may help him come to terms with his emotions. You might find out why he feels as though he is gay. Did he have an encounter with another male against his will and found it pleasurable? Maybe you are not the first male he has confused attraction and admiration with. Maybe that male was not loving and caring and took advantage of this young man's naivetey. Counseling is a definite plus here and a lgbt counsler a better choice. Lastly, you are teaching him the best lesson of all. People are people no matter what their race, creed, or color may be they have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

Do your best to help him understand that you are not attracted to him and will never be in a relationship with him, but at the same time, be a cheerleader for him to find a boyfriend who is a good guy. Think of it like how fathers stereotypically act about their daughters dating and how discerning they usually are. That's my suggestion.

You get the HELL outta there. just kidding. Tell him you are not attracted to him and get his parents arrested.

Just be honest with him that you stay on the opposite side of the railroad tracks, but also let him know that his feelings are normal and also give his parents a piece of your mind cause that's wrong to do to your own child, I would never do that to my daughter if she was gay or bi-sexual

D C F S and try to get the kid some theraputic help. dont get me wrong, i have MANY gay friends and i do not find this wrong at all. but if he's getting kicked out at fifteen, he needs a father, and a mother. he needs family and support. He's confused... Ive actually seen this situation before (dont feel too out of place!). Just welcome him, accept him, and try to get him help. He obveously does not have a functional family back at home.

mrshinyshoes, do we get an update on this situation... has your everything been wonderful or did your tenant go back home to his parents?

What you should do is precisely what you ought to do if he were a young lady and told you the self same thing. That's because, gender apart, it is the self same thing. However, if the answer with the young lady would be "take her to my bed and have the best sex of my life," that would be an inappropriate behaviour anyway. There is a lot else one could say, but you are the guy there,and you know how the poor lad is feeling. He may well be attracted to you. It happens. Or he may be transferring his need for affection into sexual attraction. Or so many other things. So the main thing you do is to make sure he is safe and he feels safe, and you handle any sexual advances in the same way you would with a girl. Polite refusal of sexual involvement, and sincerely feeling flattered that he considers you someone he is attracted to.

a good start would be to stop wearing your wifes hose, and not sing showtunes in the bath, and stop watching 'gay or straight' as thi might confuse the poor lad, you could always get him into scientology Tom:)))

I would explain to him that I don't have the same feelings, but politely. It's really up to you what to do from there. If the kid doesn't have anywhere else to go, it would be very kind of you to take him in (as I read above that you have so far). I know my girlfriend's mother kicked her out and she is living with a friend of the family, and has been for the last year and a half. But they had been good friends (my girlfriend and her now guardian) before she was kicked out. And even then, it was very awkward. However, I can say that they are now very close, like family, even though he doesn't always support her either. She gets on better with him than she ever did with her mother.

Well are you attracted to him?

It would of took a lot of guts for him to come out like that, You just have to let him down gently and tell him that you arnt gay, and also you should get his parents over to your house for a talk with them and get him to tell them what hes told you, make it obvious that you arnt interested.

You and your wife are acting out of kindness and compassion. You should speak to the teen and tell him he has to abide by your standards if he is to live under your roof. Gay or not, he has to respect you he is after all in your debt for taking him in . Hope it works out and him and his family get help. Also talk with his parents.

Thank gim for his interest. Take it as a compliment and just reassure him and let him kmow that you are straight. He needs a father figure and a friend.

realize that he is probably and understandably confused. His attraction to you is probably just a brief attempt at looking for some stability in his life. Perhaps you could contact PFLAG Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays...they are in all the major cities in North America and they have a wealth of information on this type of situation. They also have the resources to help you and more importantly help this 15 year old...Give them a call..they are all good people, most with gay children of their own...and they will help. Please don't turn your back on this kid...he sounds like he needs a lot of help.

Nicely tell him that you are flattered, but you are not interested in men.

I see this question is from a year ago. How did things go with the boy MRSHINYSHOES? I hope you didn't kick him out.

I commend you and your wife. Please do not make that a factor in your decision wether he stays or not! He needs all the support he can get, give him a chance, overlook the fact he is gay. I wouldn't be threatened by that. I am appalled at his parent's decision. So easy to judge, so easy to give up. You are his only hope!!!

This child needs some serious counseling. Please find a local agency that can help you. His school would be the best place to start.

Hey Mr Shiny Shoes. You and your wife sound like an amazing couple and people and it's amazing to see someone helping another human being and expecting nothing in return. I was just curious and wanted to know how has the situation progressed? Does the boy still live with you? What about his parents? Have they taken him back or tried reaching out to him? Has he found a new love interest other than you? This is the most touching story I've read on Answebag, honest. There are very few people like you in this world, Mr S.S. :)

talk to him and till him that he should know that you aren't gay or bi that he should ask teens around his age group if they want to talk and have a relationship