ANSWERS: 24
  • It's not something I would engage in. Supposedly it works for some. Saw a segment on a talk show about this and they claim there is no jealousy or problems.
  • I don't think it would work for most people. I think most people are too jealous. However, if it works for a couple, who am I to say anything about it?
  • I know for a fact it wouldn't work for me. Been there, done that. But it does seem to work for some.
  • I think ... I don't share, so it wouldn't work for me. Those who don't mind sharing and can handle their partners hands and other stuff all over another persons body it could work. I guess for them it would be better than cheating.
  • Not for me. I take sex and the emotional ties associated pretty seriously. I think it's a bond which can't be shared (from an emotional standpoint) But hey, if you are just into the physical thing, I'm not going to hold it against you. Have a blast, but know you are only cheating yourself and the people you are with.
  • I dont think there is a point to being with someone if you would want to be open with others . I believe that when you are sexual it is meant to be between 2 people who have strong emotional connections to each other beyond the lusting stage. Call me crazy but I wouldnt want to share with anyone. That would make me feel like I am not enough to satisy my guy.
  • I'm not against open relationships---I certainly wouldn't judge someone who was in one. It just wouldn't work for me however...I am monogamous by choice.
  • What's the point in being in a relationship if you have no coitent.*
  • I think open sexual relationships are fine, as long as both (all) parties involved are stable and are 100% okay with it. Not everyone has to commit 100% to only one person, but it shouldn't be something hidden. Not everything fits in a nice little 9X9 box, and for alot of people sexuality doesn't.
  • I would consider it self destructive behavior .Sooner or later it will bring you down.
  • Doesnt work for me, but I applaud people who connect with similarly like minded swingerish types so they dont constantly rip people's hearts out
  • Why bother having a relationship if all you're after is outside sex?
  • I think you might as well admit your relationships over and break up if you're going to do that. As for the cheating if people are going to cheat they're going to do it in an open realtionship just as they would in a monogomaous one. Most of them see it as a license to cheat and not have to deal with the consequences. After all they had their partner's permission to sleep with other people so the partner really can't get mad at them. From what I've seen in open realtionship they fall into a couple of catagories. One is when their past relationship were destroyed by cheating and they've come to believe that the only way to stop the cheating is not to find a better partner, but to just give in. The second are those who are too sexually immature to commit so they use open realtionships as a way to have their cake and eat it too. The third are those who's idea of sexual maturity is confussed with that of sexual pervision. All three have an element of psychosis, self loathing and sex for control. They also all have the false idea that having an open relationship will end the worries over jealousy and cheating. Instead it opens the door for both. It also makes the lines between what is and isn't acceptable behaviour blurred and easy to cross. I have watched these couples on T.V. and what I noticed is that the body launguage is not of a loving and connected couple, but that of a couple in a constant power struggle. When a monogamous couple is engaged in a conversation about their relationship with other people they will touch, lean towards each other, look at each other, and turn to their partner for validation of what they say. Couples in open relationships don't do this. They lean away or sit straight up in their chairs, they don't touch, they don't look at each other, and instead of looking to the partner for validation will talk over each other. It's like they're trying to prove who's in charge.In fact everything about their relationship is not about self sacrifice or truely giving yourself to another it's all about the control the open relationship gives them. All relationships have rules, but open ones are so full of them it's a wounder that they can even claim how liberating it is. Add in that the sex with the other partners is emmotionless and your looking for trouble.
  • Then why have a relationship other than dating? Seems to me that would be simply cheating to each other's face rather than behind their back. To each his own, I guess..but it certainly would not be for me.
  • well I'm in one and have been for years and for the both of us its great and works fantastic for us as a couple but we are not the norm as in we DON'T get jealous at all ..never have and our comitment to each other and our relationship is so very strong ...so we know we can have outside sexual pleasure's with out any fear at all
  • I don't know how that can work and keep a relationship intact but I guess it can. Not something I would find appealing at all.
  • I know people who are in "open" relationships. If it works for them, fine. I don't get it, myself. How do you call it a "relationship" if you're messing around with other people? I mean, if both people agree 100% that this is the kind of "relationship" they want, so be it. I was in a supposedly committed relationship with someone who couldn't commit 100%. and I'm reasonably certain (as are several other people) that I was cheated on. I am monogamous by choice....no other kind of relationship would work for me. I am very happily in a committed relationship.
  • Worse, because it's doing it, and flaunting it, and expecting no ramifications. My mommy taught me to share, but sharing doesn't extend to my husband/SO. I don't think any healthy relationship is "open", and I know some people who have claimed to have happy "open" relationships, but for some reason, both those friends I have who went from that to a "closed" relationship were overjoyed with the switch...
  • Open sexual "SO-CALLED" relationships are some of the best to have... it's called freedom to back out if you want to... but don't take it like that though ya know? Treat your indulgences concerning sex kindly, and it will kindly repay you. If two individuals are intelligent and mature enough to handle the baggage that comes along with open relationships, then go for it and be happy.
  • I have had only one truly wonderful monogamous relationship since the end of my first marriage when I was 30. That said I have never cheated on anyone. I now make it very clear I do not anticipate ever making a a monogamous commitment again. At 53 as much as I would love a permanent, monogamous, and living together relationship I just don't believe it will happen.
  • They've worked for myself and quite a few folk I know. Certainly preferable to lying and deceit. But there needs to be genuine affection and at least the desire for emotional closeness and togetherness, otherwise there is a risk of cheapening and reducing sex to the satisfaction of appetite . For me polyamorousness good/promiscuity bad. But to each her/his own.
  • I've been around, but I couldn't do that. I've had regular casual sex with someones, but we both knew that's all it was. A relationship? Can't do that when she's sleeping around. Worse than breaking up or cheating in my book. More like a slow agonizing death.
  • Care needed with the phrase 'sleeping around'! To me this suggests fleeting and depersonalised encounters or at least ones with minimal willingness to share emotionally on some level - and open relationships, in my experience and that of not a few of my friends, don't necessarily include that. It's perhaps the polyamorousness/promiscuity distinction again.
  • open relationships ? tacky, shows how the guy does not respect u and who in hell would take him or her back to visit mother eh, standards are slipping in this day and age to be honest if its casual ur missing out and are on lonely person.

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