I don't think you can say "doomed" with just the information that you provided. First, I wonder if you know WHY he doesn't want to have sex. Knowing that will take you a long way in determining the future of your relationship. For example, if he doesn't want to have sex because he no longer thinks you are attractive, you are probably worse off than if he is just too tired, stressed, etc.. That said, I think that, for most guys, 7 months without it while in a relationship is a VERY long time, even if you "never had a highly active sex life." There must be something pretty serious going on for it to go that long. You need to discuss it with him and try to get to the real source of the problem. I wish my advice was a little better, but without more information, I'm afraid it wouldn't be very helpful. Just remember: Talking to him and getting him to be open about it is the only way that you are ever going to solve your dilema. Good luck...

"Doomed" is a bit melodramatic. The first thing the two of you need to do is sit down and define your relationship. This is not the same as "discussing the problem", because that is not going anywhere and could be contributing to negative feelings on the part of your partner. You need to define where the two of you see yourselves now and in the future. The relationship you are describing, assuming that you and I share the same meaning of having "sex", sounds more like one of close friendship, rather than one of lovers or long-term partners. Sex alone does not make a relationship, but is an element within a broader partnership. If the relationship have changed into one of friendship, at least on the part of your partner, that may simply be the way of things. Don't throw the relationship away, but look for a long-term partner elsewhere. If your partner does not enjoy "sex", you should find out why. Your partner may want to refrain from sexual activities, may not feel it is important, or may not be enjoy it. Perhaps your partner is taking a pause at this point in the relationship to work out what he or she wants in the future. Regardless of any guesses concerning your partner's behaviour, it is important that the two of you define the relationship you share, where you want it to go, and how you want to get there together - or not. Without that, you cannot place your partner's behaviour in any frame of context and the relationship will be "doomed" for lack of communication.

I would venture that it is far from doomed :) My girfriend and I recently recovered from a similar situation. We would talk and talk and get nowhere...and had sex VERY infrequently, when it used to be all the time. Turned out, somewhere over the course of our relationship, I forgot how to pick up on her signals, and she forgot how to pick up on mine. We didn't get anywhere in our conversations because she thought I didn't want sex as often as she did...and she didn't want to make me feel guilty...or pushed. We talked about how much sex each of us is looking for in the relationship, and spent the evening playing "What do my signals mean." The problem has been solved ever since. Of course...your situation may be different, but the point remains the same; Most intimacy problems stem from a lack of communication. Often this problem pops up in relationships around the one or two year mark. Couples believe they have been together long enough to "know" each other...and their communication shuts down as a result. After all, your relationship is now deeper than words...right? Actually, It's the depth of your words that needs to change to reflect the depth of your relationship. The first thing to do in any event, is to ask her what her opinion is on the matter. It may seem basic...but start with "Are you comfortable with our sexual relationship...or do you think there is something that needs fixed?". If she doesn't agree that there is a problem at all...then she probably isn't going to put much effort into solving it. (I will address this case later). Conversely, if she agrees there is a problem, she probably wants to work it out just as much as you do, yet (just like you) is "stuck" somewhere. If THIS is the case, try your conversation again...but with a few changes: Use questions like "What are you looking for, sexually, in our relationship?"..."How often would you like to have sex"... Is there anything I can do to make things more enjoyable? (assuming that is the issue for her). Ask her "What do you mean when you do 'THIS'" and "What are you FEELING when you do 'THIS?'" Encourage her to ask the same questions of you. Answers like this (asked in an inquisitive "getting to know eachother" fashion are non-judgemental, and are great ways to get to the root of the issue instead of skimming the surface. Avoid questions like "Why don't you want to have sex with me?"..."What am I doing wrong?"... "Why did we used to have sex...but now we don't?" Questions like this will incite an automatic defense, and are the easiest way to make her feel horrible, and close up as a result. Don't go back to questions you've covered already. (With deep and personal dilemmas, it can often take longer for the heart to realize a problem has been solved, then it does for the brain...and if you keep going back to questions that have already been solved just because you still FEEL they are unresolved, both of you will end up confused and feel like you are running in circles). Work from where you left off. "You said that you feel the sex is too plain"..."Why is it that you feel that way?... "You say you feel that way because there isn't enough variety in our sex life?... "What would you like to try that would make you feel different?" Well...I really want to try... Of course, if she doesn't think there is a problem then you not only have a communication problem, but a fundemental disagreement. In this case, the best thing you can do is tell her how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way, and why you think it is negatively affecting your relationship (your feeling that is "something that takes some of the blame off of her"...not the lack of sex "Something that makes her feel responsible for the entire problem"...(even if you think she is). How you word things is important. From this point on, all you can do is wait as she considers the things you are feeling on her own time. She may end up agreeing with you after time...and she may not. I have a strong feeling this is a temporary dilemma, and nowhere near a sign of a "doomed" relationship. Don't give up yet...and best of luck to you both!